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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
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Christmas Day and Family
Ugh..
We used to split Christmas Day every year. My family in Queens and then DH parenst house for dessert. Now that I have young kids i'm not traveling to Queens, I told everyone to come to me.
We are seeing all DH's family for Christmas Eve. We see all of them at least once a month. They all live in the area.
My family is coming from Queens who we hardly ever see on Christmas Day to MY HOUSE.
MIL said she wants to come over to my house early Christmas morning EARLY to see the boys. We will be seeing her all Christmas eve.
I am mad. We see her all the time.
DH agrees.
When I called to tell her the plans she tells ME "i'll see what goes on I will let YOU know".
Um, NO. I just told you the deal.
What do I do?
EDITED to say that MIL hosts Christmas Day for all the people we see on Christmas Eve at his aunts.
So she then said so if you host next year I won't host and I will just come to you. And bc of some issues I know my family would not want this.
Message edited 12/11/2010 9:56:59 PM.
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Posted 12/11/10 9:51 PM  |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
I am no help...I feel so bad that my mom is missing josh discover what santa left under the tree for him.
I would hope one day I am invited to see josh's kids reaction to what santa left.
good luck!
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| Posted 12/11/10 9:59 PM |
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renee92405
I finally hit 1000! woo hoo!
Member since 1/06 2294 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
My personal opinion is if you are seeing inlaws Christmas Eve, whom you see all the time, then there is no need for them to come the next morning.
Christmas day your family is coming so that will be their time with you and your family.
Your inlaws will have just seen you a few hours earlier!
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:02 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
I don't like her comment about "I see what goes on".
But-outside of that, our house is an open house to anyone who wants to come on Christmas. We usually have both sides staying with us (his parents, brother and grandmother and my mom at the house, with my brother and his girlfriend at a nearby hotel). So-Christmas morning is a mad house as is the rest of the day and it's all I know.
I couldn't see having one side over to the house and not the other, but that's just me and I know other people who do it.
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:04 PM |
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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by Janice
I am no help...I feel so bad that my mom is missing josh discover what santa left under the tree for him.
I would hope one day I am invited to see josh's kids reaction to what santa left.
good luck!
I understand - but we are doing gifts Christmas Eve with them.
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:05 PM |
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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by CrankyPants
I don't like her comment about "I see what goes on".
But-outside of that, our house is an open house to anyone who wants to come on Christmas. We usually have both sides staying with us (his parents, brother and grandmother and my mom at the house, with my brother and his girlfriend at a nearby hotel). So-Christmas morning is a mad house as is the rest of the day and it's all I know.
I couldn't see having one side over to the house and not the other, but that's just me and I know other people who do it.
Thanks for answering...it's just sooo hard and there are so many people. I want to cherish the time I spend with people I NEVER get to see. It's hard with all my family in Queens and all his right here by us.
She "mothers" us and doesn't let us ever make our own decisions. She never had a daugther and always called the shots and hates that I now make my own plans. So when I tell her what I'm doing any time with anything it's always "we'll see"
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:06 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by Jenna
Posted by Janice
I am no help...I feel so bad that my mom is missing josh discover what santa left under the tree for him.
I would hope one day I am invited to see josh's kids reaction to what santa left.
good luck!
I understand - but we are doing gifts Christmas Eve with them.
But it isn't from Santa...it isn't the scene of twin boys attacking a tree on Christmas morning.
Last year, I had 8 extra people in my living room to witness Josh. I was happy they were so into it.
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:10 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
I would do Christmas Eve with your IL's and Christmas Day with your family. A lot of people do that and I see nothing wrong with it, I would actually prefer it if I didn't live OOS from my parents. If it were me I would have DH step in and say something. You have every right to have a day with your family, especially since you're seeing his entire family the day before (and you see them every month).
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:10 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by Janice
Posted by Jenna
Posted by Janice
I am no help...I feel so bad that my mom is missing josh discover what santa left under the tree for him.
I would hope one day I am invited to see josh's kids reaction to what santa left.
good luck!
I understand - but we are doing gifts Christmas Eve with them.
But it isn't from Santa...it isn't the scene of twin boys attacking a tree on Christmas morning.
Last year, I had 8 extra people in my living room to witness Josh. I was happy they were so into it.
For us, the Santa gifts are only witnessed by me and DH. Christmas morning will be our time together as a family, with just the 3 of us. I feel that's important for *us* as a family unit. The only exception is when we go to Florida to visit my parents, because we have no other choice.
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:13 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by OrganicMama
I would do Christmas Eve with your IL's and Christmas Day with your family. A lot of people do that and I see nothing wrong with it, I would actually prefer it if I didn't live OOS from my parents. If it were me I would have DH step in and say something. You have every right to have a day with your family, especially since you're seeing his entire family the day before (and you see them every month).
ITA. You said there were some "issues" between your family and your IL's, right? If that's the case, I would want it separate so that there is no tension on Christmas. I would have DH step in and speak to his mother.
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:40 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
That would annoy me. Christmas morning is our family time. No one is coming over early.
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:41 PM |
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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by monkeybride
That would annoy me. Christmas morning is our family time. No one is coming over early.
thank you for making me feel better 
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| Posted 12/11/10 10:51 PM |
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Purplegirl77
i love my kids!
Member since 1/09 1963 total posts
Name:
Debbie
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
I totally agree....xmas eve inlaws xmas day ur family.....I feel so bad for u ....that is very selfish of ur mil....maybe dh can say something ? I would be upset too
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| Posted 12/11/10 11:43 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
It's one thing if you INVITE someone over to see the "santa" thing, but a totally different one if someone invites themselves over.
I would have DH tell her you are spending quiet time as a family before all of your family gets there.
If it is an issue next year you need DH to flat out tell her, "we are spending all Christmas eve with you guys; Christmas day we are spending with Jenna's family" ....end of story.
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| Posted 12/12/10 7:37 AM |
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
I am sorry you are feeling this way, but I agree with Janice and it might be that we both live OOS from our family.
I do host Christmas and both sides come to me in NJ and it turns into such a fun Christmas party with signing and dancing.
I know my IL's and parents would be so excited to see my kids open presents with Santa. Stay maybe an hour and then leave.
Chances are if she is hosting Christmas she can't stay long.
Is this her first grandchild?
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| Posted 12/12/10 10:18 AM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Posted by Jen2999
It's one thing if you INVITE someone over to see the "santa" thing, but a totally different one if someone invites themselves over.
I would have DH tell her you are spending quiet time as a family before all of your family gets there.
I agree. You should be able to do whatever you want, it is your family. I plan on doing things the same way.
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| Posted 12/12/10 12:50 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
i am dreading that discussion!
DHs family does not celebrate christmas, but we always go over to their house on the weekend so they can see DS.
we spend christmas eve with my family at my mom's house (a looong tradition in my family) we also go over there for dinner christmas day and celebrate with family and friends of family.
i want to spend christmas day morning just us immediate family (DH, DS, and myself) but i also know that means ILs will not be seeing us that weekend. I know this will cause lots of drama but i want that special moment just for us with no interruptions.
p.s. i plan on changing traditions next year and having both families over or christmas day dinner at our house. right now DS is 3 months so he's a bit young to start anything new.
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| Posted 12/12/10 2:00 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
I would put your foot down - it's TOO much and it turns into you not enjoying the holiday.
This was us the past, umm, forever...
Christmas Eve at my mom's in Nassau with 45 people.
Christmas Day - morning just us, then out East to see my Dad and his side (parents divorced) and then to DH's family in Nassau.
No one got a nap, everyone was cranky. Everyone was stressed about leaving to get to the next place and some yrs DH worked and I was doing it myself.
This yr we are hosting Christmas Eve with just my family, and Christmas Day we'll spend with his.
We had to sit our families down and explain that WE were missing out on the holiday just to make sure everyone else was happy.
I don't think you're being unreasonable 
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| Posted 12/12/10 2:28 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Sounds like my MIL-always all about her! 
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| Posted 12/12/10 4:11 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Christmas Day and Family
Honestly when my older siblings got married they always saw my mom on christmas eve which was ok, but then they had children and our family grew and everyone agreed that it was not right for my mother not to see her grandchildren on christmas day ever. Now we switch every year. My mom has 10 grandchildren, it would have been terrible if we all did not follow the same schedule. So while I agree its ok for this year I think next year the in-laws should get christmas day. Its a big deal with little kids. JMO. It would not be right for your mil never to get to see her young grandchildren on christmas day.
But I do not like her attitude. Maybe she just misunderstood and assumed she was invited. Is that so bad though?
Message edited 12/12/2010 5:53:23 PM.
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| Posted 12/12/10 5:50 PM |
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