BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

So...Riley is in the phase where, if she gets frustrated, she bites. I'm relieved when the couch or some inatimate object is the victim.

She has gone to bite me, DH, her teachers, and has done it successfully at times. She did bite a fellow student who was going for her lunch a couple weeks ago.

So every day I stress, wondering if I'll get a call. Found out yesterday they had to stop her from biting a fellow student when he/she tried to take something form her.

So, BTDT Moms - when your child needs to let out that frustration, how did you manage to teach them to find some other way to deal with it? Especially at this very young age (20 months)?

Any tips? TIA!!

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

wow- no one with experience? Shameless BUMP

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

YaYa has taken to biting these days as well, and in fact, bit two of her classmates last week. I'm not too worried about it - it is a phase, and I'm working on it. Most toddlers this age bite out of frustration because they are starting to speak, so they expect that everyone will understand them, but become VERY frustrated when they don't.

YaYa hasn't bitten me, but she has bitten Alex, and hit all of us. I'm pretty strict. I say VERY sternly NO and if she's sitting in my lap, I pick her up and put her down on the floor and walk away.

She usually goes into hysterics at that point, but I completely ignore her until she calms down. She KNOWS at this point that she has to "make nice" before I'll pick her up again, which means, she has to say sorry, which she usually does, and then hug and kiss the person she bit/hit.

It seems to be working.... good luck!

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

Liam bit for different reasons. And still does. He bites me when he is teething and tired. I did time out and told him no biting but, it only got worse. I just ignored it and walked away when he was trying and he stopped eventually.

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

thanks girls. I guess I just have to ride out the phase. It just worries me when I see how angry she gets, and when I heard that she broke the skin on the child she bit, man did I feel bad. I can imagine she bites HARD when she's mad. I think it might be related to teething too...she's been a lot crankier than her usual self.

Thanks

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

Tara - I never wanted to be "that parent" who's kid is the biter. Samantha went through this as well. Not only would she bite other kids, but herself as well. I noticed it was definately when she was frustrated with trying to communicate what she wanted, or when she was trying to do something on her own. The biting has seemed to have stopped now, but she is having other agressive "issues".

We asked the ped, and he told us it is a phase, but you do have to discipline as well. 20 months is NOT too young for Time Outs!

What also helped, is that we taught Samantha to say "help" when she needed it. It took a little while for her to get the concept of it, but once she did, the biting got much better.

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

Mich, was it really the time outs that worked? I talk to her about it, but I don't think she gets it, and time outs have not really worked yet for her.

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

Charlie went through this phase as well and honestly, it lasted longer than I was happy with. I mean I understood it was done out of frustration (if someone was grabbing for something she had, pushed her, or wouldn't give her something she was asking for, etc) but I was all sorts of mortified when she did it. And she would bit herself too :(

Time outs didn't work for her, stern No's, removing her from the situation - nothing helped. She just outgrew it. Though I still hover at times and she's 2.5!

Whatever you do, be consistent (much like with everything else!).

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

Some people are more strict with time outs than other parents.

DS doesn't get that many time outs but the one thing that guarantees him an immediate time out was biting or hitting. As soon as he did this, we would immediately give him a time out. He never hits or bites now.

Now if another kid pushes or is rough, he will say, "time out!"

We are pretty lenient about other things though. I know some parents give time outs if the kid is whiny or plays with food, etc. We haven't been giving him time outs for things like this.

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

DD doesn't bite people, but once in awhile when she's frustrated, she bites a toy I guess its their way of getting out their frustration, hopefully it'll pass or you can eventually show her how to take it out another way GL

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

I never had any issues with biting until now. Adriano bites not out of frustration or malice, he'll bite his clothes or lately try to bite me or DH in a playful way. Not hard, baiscally just mouting us with mouth open and he laughs. We have started to tell him no biting and being very sterm about it. I think he's just experimenting with his boundaries.
As far as biting in anger or frustration I would start time out for it. Make her sit for 1 minute and tell her biting is not allowed.....and repeat repeat repeat....until it sinks in.

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

Thanks ladies!

The only tricky thing is - consistency between myself and daycare. I could do a timeout, but I know they won't. Oh well, I guess eventually she'll get it. I just hope it's a QUICK phase!

Re: BTDT Moms - Can we talk toddler biting?

I am so glad you posted this bc I was at my wits end with DS & his biting. I never wanted to be that parent & actually fear him playing with other kids bc he is constantly biting out of fustration or tiredness. I have tried time-outs & even taking his favorite toys away but it does not phase him. I am going to ask the Ped at his 18 month checkup for some pointers...I just can't stand how much he does it