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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I'm so upset. There is so much pressure to breastfeed. I spent 4 days in the hospital meeting with different nurses and lactation consultants and 2 horrible days and nights here at home trying to DD to latch on. She was sooooooo fussy and was crying everytime I put her to the breast. I finally started pumping and giving her the bottle and our lives are SO much more relaxed now. I can't even begin to tell you...I would rather spend the time pumping then deal with the stress trying to get her on my breast.
Well, my lovely ILs don't agree with our decison. FIL jumped down my throat the other night and sat there and lectured me on why I should be breastfeeding. I got really upset but kept my cool and explained that we have to do what works for us and that DD is still getting breastmilk so what is the big deal??? Even my Mom was there to witness the altercation and she couldn't believe how strongly he came at me. He just kept it up and even today (2 days after incident) he asked DH on the phone how the breastfeeding is going. I can't believe the issue is still being brought up. DH called his mom tonight and told her that she needs to talk to FIL b/c this is a very sensitive issue and we don't wish to talk about it anymore.
Anyway...tomorrow is a barbeque at ILs house and I am really dreading it. I am hoping that DH nipped it in the bud, but I am pretty sure it's going to be brought up again.
Any advice?? Why am I made to feel guilty about pumping? It is still breastmilk!!! UGH.
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Posted 6/30/07 9:51 PM  |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow, that is really uncalled for on his part! You're doing a *great* job. Don't even let him bother you.
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| Posted 6/30/07 9:57 PM |
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Aga
hello baby Albert
Member since 9/05 7750 total posts
Name:
Aga
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
this is what happened to me... I thought bf wouldnt be that bad until I was crying out in pain everytime ds latched on... so I started pumping... my nipples healed in the meantime so I am doing pumping and breastfeeding... anyways, at one point I told my mom that it looks like the whole world is revolving around my breasts because thats the one and only thing people would ask me about... I was just so sick of explaing myself why I was not breastfeeding... I put so much pressure on myself to do it and just the constant questions pi$$ed me off even more lol
so I understand where you are coming from!!! your FIL should just let it go at this point, maybe your MIL will talk to him and he will stop...
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| Posted 6/30/07 9:58 PM |
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DMT
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 2277 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
tell you father is law their your boobs are none of his business and that when he walks to walk around with a penis pump all day and night he can then have a say
what freaking nerve!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:00 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Don't let them make you feel guilty because you have nothing to feel guilty about. I express my breastmilk for one of the same reasons you do...convenience! I still BF DS at least once per day but DH can help feed him and my milk is coming in better from me expressing. Do what works for you and if they bring it up again, nicely tell them you appreciate their input but you have to do what is best for you and your DD.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:03 PM |
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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Unreal!!!! I think the best way to deal with it is not allowing them to give their input, just yes them to death, eventually they will see that their inout is unwanted (and unwarranted).
This alwasy gets me so mad, I have a patient who could not BF because she was sexually abused and it just felt too uncomfrtable for her to have her child hanging from her boob 24/7, her ILs ridiculed her non-stop, she finally told them the reason behind her having to pump vs. actually bfing, they were mortified, but serves them right You;re doing great Alicia, hang in there
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:03 PM |
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aidamarie
My Precious Angel
Member since 9/05 1093 total posts
Name:
Aidamarie
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
OMG your inlaws sound like mine, My MIL and SIL were furious because I completely gave up on breastfeeding after 3 days. They brought it up every party or get together for months in front of everyone, They would try to push me over and over. They blamed everything on me not breastfeeding, They would say, OH She has an ear infection, thats because you didnt breastfeed, OH she has Diahrrea, thats because you didnt breastfeed. Oh she has gas, thats because you didnt breastfeed. One family function I was so mad I went off on my MIL and told her to mind her own business and then DH heard what happend and he went off on his Mother. Ever since that day they never brought it up again!!! You are pumping its the same stuff, I dont know why your FIL feels like he has the right to tell you how to feed your child. You really need to tell them its none of their business!!!! Sorry you have to deal with this, I know how annoying it can be!!
Message edited 7/1/2007 12:57:09 AM.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:03 PM |
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
I would be pizzed that your bbs were a topic of conversation - especially to your FIL. Tell him to back off!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:05 PM |
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beena
Sitting on a tree bench!
Member since 5/05 2429 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by Aga
this is what happened to me... I thought bf wouldnt be that bad until I was crying out in pain everytime ds latched on... so I started pumping... my nipples healed in the meantime so I am doing pumping and breastfeeding... anyways, at one point I told my mom that it looks like the whole world is revolving around my breasts because thats the one and only thing people would ask me about... I was just so sick of explaing myself why I was not breastfeeding... I put so much pressure on myself to do it and just the constant questions pi$$ed me off even more lol
so I understand where you are coming from!!! your FIL should just let it go at this point, maybe your MIL will talk to him and he will stop...
I totally agree.
I had a similar situation, problems latching - I found it MUCH easier just to do 90% pumping and attempt 10% latching. He got a whole month of breastmilk. Unfortunately I stopped but I suffered 2 infections within the month and I had HAD IT... I had never felt so sick in my life.
You just need to find what works for you and be happy the baby is getting whatever you can give.
I can't believe your FIL - tell him to go 
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:05 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by FireIslandLove
I would be pizzed that your bbs were a topic of conversation - especially to your FIL. Tell him to back off!
Exactly! I'd be FUMING!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:07 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow, he's really got some nerve. What business is it of his what you do? This guy is a real jerk and needs to be told to keep his mouth shut. The next time he opens up his mouth ask him how it was with him when he breastfed his child and that maybe he can give you a few pointers. I give your mother alot of credit for holding back. If you were my daughter, I would jumped down his throat with two feet. You're doing just fine and your daughter is happy. Don't feel guilty because of this idiot. His opinion shouldn't matter at all. Moron!!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:08 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
He has no right to say anything about how you feed your child. You are still breast feeding in my eyes, you are giving her breast milk! Geez, he'd disown me, I never even considered BFing.
All kidding aside, DH needs to tell him that you and he are Madison's parents and you are taking fantastic care of her. She is getting the bm that she needs and is a healthy little baby and to back the f off.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:12 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by Maathy317
Wow, he's really got some nerve. What business is it of his what you do? This guy is a real jerk and needs to be told to keep his mouth shut. The next time he opens up his mouth ask him how it was with him when he breastfed his child and that maybe he can give you a few pointers. I give your mother alot of credit for holding back. If you were my daughter, I would jumped down his throat with two feet. You're doing just fine and your daughter is happy. Don't feel guilty because of this idiot. His opinion shouldn't matter at all. Moron!!
ITA!! I want to tell this man off for you!! You are doing an excellent job and it's NONE OF HIS BUSINESS!!! Hang in there.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:16 PM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wo, I would tell FIL that next time he breastfeeds, to give you a ring and you can come on over and get some tips!!
You do whatever is best for you!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:17 PM |
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
You shouldn't feel guilty. She is getting the breast milk and that's the most important. You just had major surgery, you have the baby to care for, and breast feeding is HARD. Your FIL really has nerve to call you out on this decision. I hope tomorrow goes well for you.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:21 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by FireIslandLove
I would be pizzed that your bbs were a topic of conversation - especially to your FIL. Tell him to back off!
ITA!! Its funny seeing a FIL worked up about BF!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:25 PM |
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Claud
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/05 759 total posts
Name:
Claudine
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by MrsProfessor
You shouldn't feel guilty. She is getting the breast milk and that's the most important. You just had major surgery, you have the baby to care for, and breast feeding is HARD. Your FIL really has nerve to call you out on this decision. I hope tomorrow goes well for you.
ITA. Holy cow, your FIL has some set! I would be LIVID...and my DH would not rest until he took care of the situation...meaning, put his father in his place! Good luck tomorrow!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:27 PM |
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AlohaMa
Never Forget
Member since 2/06 2735 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by lvdolphins
Posted by FireIslandLove
I would be pizzed that your bbs were a topic of conversation - especially to your FIL. Tell him to back off!
Exactly! I'd be FUMING!
ITA. I hope that your DH took care of it and that you can enjoy your BBQ tomorrow
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:29 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Why do they care, she's still getting breastmilk! Tell them to mind their own business.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:35 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
 I would seriously tell him to f*ck off!!! If she is getting BM what is the big deal about how If it comes up again your DH needs to tell his Dad to mind his own business. I will never understand how people can treat a postpartum mother the way some of them do
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:39 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow that is crazy. It was so wrong of him to blow up at you. It's your body, he has no right to even suggest what you should be doing.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:40 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Holy crap! He really needs to mind his own business. Maybe try whipping out a boob in front of him and show him what happens  I am kidding of course! It's your baby and your life. He needs to chill out. I do commend you for keeping your cool though. Just hang in there!!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:44 PM |
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aliasPook
Blessed x 3
Member since 6/05 2460 total posts
Name:
Laurie
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Ewe! your inlaws s*ck!
I BF, but honestly, if I was better at pumpng I probably would pump more than nurse. It gives your DH a chance to bond with the baby as well...Even if it WERE formula, they are made so well these days, your DC would be getting what it needs.
You have more important things to worry about than HOW the milk is getting in to the babies belly! As long as it's getting in there, that's all they should care about.
Message edited 6/30/2007 10:50:19 PM.
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:44 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Posted by aliasPook
Ewe! your inlaws s*ck!
agreed! Next time he talks about something so personal and you are ready to fight back...ask him personal questions maybe something like how much money do you make, am I in your will? if so, what do I get, since we can talk about my breasts, let's talk about your penis, what size is it? how much is in your 401k...ornything equally personal that you feel!
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:47 PM |
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SpiceGirl
Dream big
Member since 1/06 2486 total posts
Name:
j
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Re: Big blowup in family over me expressing breast milk and not exclusively breastfeeding...
Wow...if I were you, I'd make it crystal clear to your IL's that your decision to pump is YOUR business and YOUR business only. You are not looking for their opinion and certainly are not going to sit there and be judged and berated.
At least your trying! I didn't even do that...and believe me I heard grief over formula feeding, but you know what...it's my life, my boobs, my baby. End of story.
I can't stand when people try to cram their beliefs down your throat!
Good luck...and stay tough! It sounds like you made the right decision because you, your DH, and your DC are happy. What more can people ask for????
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| Posted 6/30/07 10:57 PM |
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