BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I have been trying to wean DD - and for the past month we are down to just 1-2 feedings (if/when she wakes at night and first thing in the morning). Unfortunately, she won't be comforted at night without the BFing session and won't take a bottle, pacifier, blanket, rock etc. I'm not someone who can do CIO.

Well I got a horrific ear infection (cellulitis) which isn't contagious but is extremely painful and I had to go late yesterday on really strong antibiotics and drops and if it doesn't get better today I might have to go and get IV antibiotics.

I know DD is turning 13 months on Sunday and most people never make it this far (my goal was 1 year) but I'm soooooo upset and my poor DD doesn't understand why I won't feed her - she was hysterical last night wanting mommy to BF (usually she feeds for 2 minutes if she wakes and is right back out) and I couldn't and it was very upsetting.

A large part of me wants to wean her b/c it is time and we want to TTC but my OB tells me with my PCOS and the BFing my cycles are really bad- but I feel that we aren't ready to get rid of it overnight rather than over a few weeks - and poor DD doesn't understand why I won't feed her - and she is so upset and angry at me.

Has anyone gone thru this - can I get some advice.

Etd to add I think it is also hard on my now that DD is running around one of the only times we get our snuggles in is when I BF.

Message edited 7/18/2008 10:17:42 AM.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Sorry no advice just

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Have you tried soothing her just by rubbing her back, patting her, maybe put on the fisher price aquarium or something like it or some music?

If nothing else works, maybe just try CIO for a few nights and I know it's hard to hear but you'd be amazed at the results! Good luck!!

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Posted by ckdk

Have you tried soothing her just by rubbing her back, patting her, maybe put on the fisher price aquarium or something like it or some music?

If nothing else works, maybe just try CIO for a few nights and I know it's hard to hear but you'd be amazed at the results! Good luck!!

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

tons of

I have never been depressed in life, it just isn't part of my mood make up.
Until, I weaned. Holy sh!t I did not see it coming and it hit me like a brick!!!!!

we were down to 2-3 feedings a day and I just couldn't do it anymore. I woke up one morning and vowed it was over.

The whole time I was happy it was over, but felt soooo sad for him and selfish that I was withholding something that he wanted so bad.

I also did not sit for a long time, I did not want to tease him, he is super affectionate, so that cut into our cuddle time.

now, exactly a month later, he still points to them and I say it was nice that we use to do that, but now we can just hug and talk to each other instead.

nighttime is bad. we are still at a loss. I gave him a bath at 6:30 last night, took him right to his room, laid in bed, and he was up playing and singing forever.

then we went to my room, laid it bed...then I turned on TV at 9, eventually he slammed his head into headboard and cried to sleep.

My goal was 2 year old. I felt like I failed on that.

My DH overnight became overly attracted to me again which hurt my feelings horribly. He said between pregnancy and nursing it was always a "baby body" and its nice that now its not.

oh, that's great....so let me get pregnant again and nurse so that you have to lay near a baby body again.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

We're in the process of weaning right now too It's such a bittersweet time because where I'm ready...it's still tough. She doesn't understand either and it's been difficult. I haven't had to stop suddenly, so it's a gradual process for us.

What I've been doing when she asks for it is give her a snack or immediately give her a sippy with water.

I unfortunately don't have advice with the during the night feedings...she hasn't done those for a long time.

I would just keep offering her a sippy with something and try to comfort her in another way.

Good luck. I know it's hard.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

You know I had to go cold turkey too after a bad infection.

She already has the formula so she is used to it. She does not need the breast. It's just soothing at this point because she likes it.

You really have no choice. Before she ask for the boob, bring the bottle. When she pulls your shirt, gently push her away and give her the bottle, if she does not want it, show the pacifier. That's now her choices.

When EJ pulled my shirt, I said "no more". He was 6 months though so it might have been easier.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

That is what I'm trying to do now - it just is heartbreaking to watch her reaction

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Posted by Lillykat

That is what I'm trying to do now - it just is heartbreaking to watch her reaction

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I know how sad and heartbreaking it is. I had to forcefully wean DD#1 at 2 1/2 years because there was no end in site. The nights were the hardest it was HORRIBLE. I literally had to push her away (we cosleep), I had never been so sad, I think I cryed myself to sleep. The good thing after about 2 weeks she gave up and quickly forgot the routine we used to have.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I have a 2 1/2 year old that I have been trying to wean for months now to no avail. We co sleep so night times are tough.

I even starting drinking liquid sage this week in order to dry up my milk. Its completely gross and doesnt seem to be working as DD still manages to get lots of milk out. My Ob Gyn wanted to give me meds to dry up my milk as we are ttc # 2 this summer but I dont want to go down that road.

What works a little for me at night to cut down on the length of the feedings is to say "okay you can have them really quickly while I count to 5" and then she does 1-5 on each side. Usually she is happy with that although she does wake up every couple of hours for more.Might be harder for you as your little one is younger.

Would you be able to sleep in another room for a few nights and leave her with your DH?

Sorry for going on and rambling, bottom line is I have no advice as I dont seem to be successful at weaning. I just wanted to share my story and to send you some not much use I know

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I have no advice, just some .

Good luck and remember: "This, too, shall pass."

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Posted by beachgirl


Would you be able to sleep in another room for a few nights and leave her with your DH?

Sorry for going on and rambling, bottom line is I have no advice as I dont seem to be successful at weaning. I just wanted to share my story and to send you some not much use I know

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I knew josh had to be an all or nothing.

He would ask me for it all day long as long as we were at home.

From the second he woke in the morning while weaning, I would throw him in the stroller, hand him a cereal bar and water and go walking for a few hours. That was the only way I could bypass the morning feeding.

naptime was horrible. I would have him out at the pool, change him into his nightshirt while we were still out, then put him in the carseat. he would pass out from swimming...then move him into his bed.

nighttime...we are still trying to figure something out.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

at 13 months, I night weaned josh. He would wake at 3 am for a feeding, I could not do it anymore.

So, it was a 2 week long hard process, but I did it.

so...tonight, obviously don't feed her.

when she wakes for you, go in hug, sing...mine seriously kicked my *** for 40 minutes the first night.

do that for 4 nights.

then go in rub back, sing, no picking up. that for a few nights.

then go in, sing, no back rubbing...and so on.

or....just keep sending DH in, eventually she will realize its not worth waking up and all the hassle just to see him that worked for us as well.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I feel your pain. I am holding out till 1 year and then I will probably start my meds. I plan to start offering it only at night and then hopefully have dad take over the nightly feedings

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

As hard as it is for your DH I would just continue to have him try and soothe her back to sleep. She is always going to associate you with BF.
Good Luck

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I have no advice but I am glad you posted this. I have been BF'ing DD for 17 months and I keep saying I want to wean and then I chicken out. We nurse 3 times a day but we also use it as a means of soothing. I keep telling myself that World Health Organization recommends it up to 2 years old and so I can think of weaning later

As far as abrupt weaning, I no suggestions. The night waking is horrible and there have been times when DD woke up at night and I had no milk left but she wanted it anyway and would cry forever. We resorted to driving her around the neighborhood until she fell asleep. Gotta do what ya gotta do.

Good luck! It is not easy but it will pass.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

I have no advice but this whole thread makes me very scared about weaning!

good luck to you!

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Thank you all for your support - when I or DH goes in there she immediately stands up - and if we lay her back down and rub her back she flips around and runs around crying with her arms up. It is so sad to see. I caved in and we have been bringing her into bed - she is angry with me for not BFing but eventually - after struggling and crying will take the bottle - but is NOT happy about it. I know this will pass but it is so hard to see. It also doesn't help that I'm in excruciating pain (hurts as much as my section pain did) from the cellulitis.

I had to pump last night b.c I was very engorged and in pain b.c I didn't BF for 24 hours. Since I'm already in a lot of pain with my ear - I don't want to bring more pain - so how do I reduce my supply - will pumping for say 5 mins once a day do it slowly for a few days, than once every 2 days or how do I do this?

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

Posted by megsm3

I have no advice but this whole thread makes me very scared about weaning!

good luck to you!

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?

since I nursed 3 times a day, the first 4 days of weaning, I hand expressed a little bit the same 3 times a day.

then on day 5 I only did it once.

I used cold cabbage leaves and took ibprofren.

a month later, i still have milk, still leak, but no pain or engorgement.

Re: BFing moms who had to stop suddenly - Can I get some help/advice/support?