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Baby vs older child expenses
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
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Mama mama mama....
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
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Posted 4/29/15 9:40 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Right now my kids are 6.5 in Kindergarten. I used to spend around $1400 a month on a nanny. Now I spend about 600 between Tae Kwon Do, Golf lessons(through an after school program) Science class 1X per week. Not including clothing food, etc. That is a given no matter what age.So far it has been cheaper. This summer, I will probably do summer camp which will signifacantly raise my expenses
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| Posted 4/29/15 10:01 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Baby vs older child expenses
I was reading through responses and shocked!
but I am glad to see that all those expenses are extracurricular activities that parents choose to put money and time in.
I can understand that there will be an increase in food budget and clothing but I plan to keep all the other costs low.
there is no way I can have them in xyz and this and that... I don't want to go broke.
I am sure there will be braces and other costs that will pop up but as far as I can see, my kids will prob miss out on a lot of "stuff" but I am fine with that! lol
I guess they can do school sports but I am only letting them pick one a year- not basketball, soccer, volleyball all at the same time.
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| Posted 4/29/15 10:48 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
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| Posted 4/29/15 10:51 AM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
I swear I am NOT at all cheap but here I am thinking the SAME thing. Ride your bike, do some CHORES at home, visit family, run errands with mom and dad.
My philosphy is that M-F is for work/school. Weekends are family time, I will not be shuttling to and fro. Attend a class- sure, one game in the local league a week- no prob. Beyond that, I will not allow unecessary activities into our schedule.
I don't even like thinking about what we spend between childcare and nursery school combined....it's well over $2 grand per month. No WAY are we spending that on a school aged child.
Message edited 4/29/2015 11:10:43 AM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 11:08 AM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by LastLightGlow
I don't know from experience but I think longer term it's more $$. That's what scares me. Sweet 16s, religious sacraments, learning to drive, first car, gas/repairs for their first car, laptop/computers for school, car insurance, cell phone, college, weddings(really long term)....swim, music(if you have to buy/repair an instrument), karate, ballet, proms, "Please get me Uggs and video games for my birthday!!".....food bills will double/triple. Electric/water goes up with more use. "Mom can I have $ for a movie?", friends come over and eat your food.....
Teens seem extremely $$$.
What is the age for working papers? Is it still 14?
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| Posted 4/29/15 11:12 AM |
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ppm80
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 336 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
Whew, same here. I spent all my free time growing up playing with my friends and reading and hanging out with my family. I did have tennis lessons, dance lessons, art classes, swimming, language classes, piano, and violin, but all VERY spread out. We never rushed or felt either busy or bored. I'm praying it's still possible for have that kind of life and childhood nowadays, since I will probably be paying for private school and I was hoping to save money overall since tuition will be cheaper than my current childcare costs.
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| Posted 4/29/15 11:13 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
I don't think it's anywhere near the cost of say, paying for daycare however, things do add up. My DD is 6 now and what gets expensive is all of the activities she wants to participate in. Dance, gymnastics, Daisy Troop, money needed for school functions, etc. On top of that the clothes get more expensive (she also wants more of them!!  ) and the toys she likes are pricier.
I'm sure once she's even older (pre-teen/teen years) it will be worse with the added expensive of needing money to hang out with her friend, needing a car one day, and college. The money train never slows down with kids!
ETA - I'm NOT an over-scheduler AT ALL, she's only involved in maybe two things at a time but as they get older they will ask to join things. It's just an expense you have to be prepared for.
Message edited 4/29/2015 11:21:19 AM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 11:18 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by ppm80
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
Whew, same here. I spent all my free time growing up playing with my friends and reading and hanging out with my family. I did have tennis lessons, dance lessons, art classes, swimming, language classes, piano, and violin, but all VERY spread out. We never rushed or felt either busy or bored. I'm praying it's still possible for have that kind of life and childhood nowadays, since I will probably be paying for private school and I was hoping to save money overall since tuition will be cheaper than my current childcare costs.
Exactly but you still did a lot of extra curricular activities and I know tennis isn't cheap. With the exception of dance and karate, my sons sports are different seasons. He still has plenty of time to play and hang out with our family. But this is stuff that keeps him busy and active. I rather foster these things now so hopefully as a teen he will put his energy into a sport then hanging out playing video games or watching tv all day. I learned this from experience with my stepson.
Plus he's very active and these sports keep him busy and entertained.
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| Posted 4/29/15 11:19 AM |
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ppm80
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 336 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by Sash
Posted by ppm80
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
Whew, same here. I spent all my free time growing up playing with my friends and reading and hanging out with my family. I did have tennis lessons, dance lessons, art classes, swimming, language classes, piano, and violin, but all VERY spread out. We never rushed or felt either busy or bored. I'm praying it's still possible for have that kind of life and childhood nowadays, since I will probably be paying for private school and I was hoping to save money overall since tuition will be cheaper than my current childcare costs.
Exactly but you still did a lot of extra curricular activities and I know tennis isn't cheap. With the exception of dance and karate, my sons sports are different seasons. He still has plenty of time to play and hang out with our family. But this is stuff that keeps him busy and active. I rather foster these things now so hopefully as a teen he will put his energy into a sport then hanging out playing video games or watching tv all day. I learned this from experience with my stepson.
Plus he's very active and these sports keep him busy and entertained.
Definitely get your point and I see the benefit in fostering interest in sports vs. less constructive things.
Just wanted to mention that my list was ALL of my non-school related activities from K-8, they were done only during the summer (other than piano and violin), I had not more than one activity per week, and the "lessons" were often from neighbors, the YMCA, or the township (very cheap!). So, like, for a few summers, I had tennis lessons once a week from the YMCA. The next few summers I had swimming lessons from my neighbor once a week. It was that spread out.
I think it would be harder to do that kind of thing now b/c kids will see all their friends doing all their professionally managed/organized activities and they will want to sign up, too. I'll have to see how we end up managing. But I CANNOT imagine $15K a year on just activities, more expensive toys, and name-brand kids' clothing! 
Message edited 4/29/2015 12:24:59 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 12:15 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Yes sports activities, but if you work full time you need to have the kids in camps and things for all vacations and summer camp is not cheap. So they are not really optional unless you have family to pitch in.
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| Posted 4/29/15 12:31 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
It's different for every family because it really depends on what type of child care you need throughout their lives.
A teacher mom (as an example) would probably see costs go down because they'll need full time care before kindergarten but then will be on the same schedule as the kids when they're in school.
A SAHM situation would probably see costs go up.
I have a 13 year old SD who lives with us and other than braces it's not that bad. She does play volleyball on two teams but it's not that expensive. Any gifts she gets are clothes and cash which helps to meet those needs and wants.
Kids don't need to be in a million activities.
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| Posted 4/29/15 12:49 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
I swear I am NOT at all cheap but here I am thinking the SAME thing. Ride your bike, do some CHORES at home, visit family, run errands with mom and dad.
My philosphy is that M-F is for work/school. Weekends are family time, I will not be shuttling to and fro. Attend a class- sure, one game in the local league a week- no prob. Beyond that, I will not allow unecessary activities into our schedule.
I don't even like thinking about what we spend between childcare and nursery school combined....it's well over $2 grand per month. No WAY are we spending that on a school aged child.
you will be surprised at the things you find completely ridiculous, that you end up doing for your kids .........
The local leagues aren't one game a week, they are 2, minimum, sometimes with practices in there as well. If you have more than one child - there you go. (and my boys are only 4 and 6 years old) As they get older there are travel teams, in addition to school teams etc.
I am far from a pushover with my kids, but I can't tell my son "No you can't play football b/c I don't feel like rushing home to drive you there" .......
My older son just turned 6 and LOVES to play ice hockey. He's been begging to do it since 3 years old, and we started him at 4. He LOVES it, and he's good at it. Practice is 5:30 during the week (right now) DH rearranges his schedule to be able to take him ........he has games early on Saturday mornings. He plays baseball along side Hockey b/c I think it's important for them to play on a community league where they are with kids from school and the neighborhood, and we meet parents in our community as well .........but I'm not going to make him stop Hockey, which he adores, b/c of it - so we juggle both.
Believe me, I think the cost, and time and effort that goes into sports (hockey especially) is INSANE, however, it's not like it was when we were kids, sports are SO unbelievably competitive - I don't want to do my boys a disservice by not giving them the opportunity to play at a young age, because if they don't start young, they won't have a chance in hell of competing for a position when they are Jr High/High School age. Do I think it's sad and completey ridiculous? Yes .......but I do it, for them b/c I'm trying my best to set them up be successful. It seems silly, but it's something I never would have thought twice about until they hit that age, and I started seeing it.
And for two FTW parents, I will gladly pay a small fortune for 'a million activities' b/c it means my kids will have considerably less time to be hanging out doing nothing, and getting into trouble. They will be part of teams, make friends, be a part of the community. It's exhausting and expensive, but I can't imagine telling my sons 'No' b/c I don't want to be bothered. And I don't know too many 12 - 17 year olds who are happy to 'run errands with Mom & Dad" - I think that's utopian ......
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| Posted 4/29/15 2:44 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
Yep. Me too.
I have no desire to be spending my entire weekend dragging my DD to all kinds of activities that probably wont' mean a thing in the long run.
I'll put the money we save in her college fund.
Message edited 4/29/2015 3:00:11 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 2:59 PM |
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summertime
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 852 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
SUMMER CAMP! The cost is ridiculous.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:01 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
I swear I am NOT at all cheap but here I am thinking the SAME thing. Ride your bike, do some CHORES at home, visit family, run errands with mom and dad.
My philosphy is that M-F is for work/school. Weekends are family time, I will not be shuttling to and fro. Attend a class- sure, one game in the local league a week- no prob. Beyond that, I will not allow unecessary activities into our schedule.
I don't even like thinking about what we spend between childcare and nursery school combined....it's well over $2 grand per month. No WAY are we spending that on a school aged child.
you will be surprised at the things you find completely ridiculous, that you end up doing for your kids .........
The local leagues aren't one game a week, they are 2, minimum, sometimes with practices in there as well. If you have more than one child - there you go. (and my boys are only 4 and 6 years old) As they get older there are travel teams, in addition to school teams etc.
I am far from a pushover with my kids, but I can't tell my son "No you can't play football b/c I don't feel like rushing home to drive you there" .......
My older son just turned 6 and LOVES to play ice hockey. He's been begging to do it since 3 years old, and we started him at 4. He LOVES it, and he's good at it. Practice is 5:30 during the week (right now) DH rearranges his schedule to be able to take him ........he has games early on Saturday mornings. He plays baseball along side Hockey b/c I think it's important for them to play on a community league where they are with kids from school and the neighborhood, and we meet parents in our community as well .........but I'm not going to make him stop Hockey, which he adores, b/c of it - so we juggle both.
Believe me, I think the cost, and time and effort that goes into sports (hockey especially) is INSANE, however, it's not like it was when we were kids, sports are SO unbelievably competitive - I don't want to do my boys a disservice by not giving them the opportunity to play at a young age, because if they don't start young, they won't have a chance in hell of competing for a position when they are Jr High/High School age. Do I think it's sad and completey ridiculous? Yes .......but I do it, for them b/c I'm trying my best to set them up be successful. It seems silly, but it's something I never would have thought twice about until they hit that age, and I started seeing it.
And for two FTW parents, I will gladly pay a small fortune for 'a million activities' b/c it means my kids will have considerably less time to be hanging out doing nothing, and getting into trouble. They will be part of teams, make friends, be a part of the community. It's exhausting and expensive, but I can't imagine telling my sons 'No' b/c I don't want to be bothered. And I don't know too many 12 - 17 year olds who are happy to 'run errands with Mom & Dad" - I think that's utopian ......
You're totally entitled to raise your children as you believe. I choose to not spend my time doing something I feel is "sad and completey ridiculous" and have no problem telling my son that we don't do those activities in this house.
At 12-13 I was was definitely running errands with my family and my 12 year old niece does to this day....it's all in the values I guess? At 14 I was filling my time doing volunteer work and helping around the house until I was old enough to work...then I juggled volunteer and working...I still managed to make the varsity basketball team and secured scholarship money to a tier one school. It all worked out as it always does.
Message edited 4/29/2015 3:10:45 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:04 PM |
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summertime
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 852 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
Yep. Me too.
I have no desire to be spending my entire weekend dragging my DD to all kinds of activities that probably wont' mean a thing in the long run.
I'll put the money we save in her college fund.
The key word is "dragging". I wouldn't spend my weekend "dragging" my kids anywhere. I
do spend most weekends in fall and spring watching my kids play organized sports... lax, soccer, jiu jitsu and football. They love it so it makes it worth it in the end.
Also you don't have to spend thousands either unless your playing club teams. PAL, town leagues are very affordable. Of course you need equipment, etc.. but no way thousands.
That being said to each his own, I wouldn't be happy watching my kid sit around playing video games or watching tv all day but some people don't mind.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:10 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
I swear I am NOT at all cheap but here I am thinking the SAME thing. Ride your bike, do some CHORES at home, visit family, run errands with mom and dad.
My philosphy is that M-F is for work/school. Weekends are family time, I will not be shuttling to and fro. Attend a class- sure, one game in the local league a week- no prob. Beyond that, I will not allow unecessary activities into our schedule.
I don't even like thinking about what we spend between childcare and nursery school combined....it's well over $2 grand per month. No WAY are we spending that on a school aged child.
ITA.
We both work FT, get home, do something educational with each kid, eat dinner together, change, tidy up the house (i.e. the beginning of chores) & go to sleep. anything that goes over that simply doesn't fit into our tight schedule.
We do spend family time together on weekends. My kids are in activities ONCE a week (now, Sat AM). I want them to remember things we did together (zoos, museums, parks, farms, family trips, etc.) not sports teams. Realistically, they will not be athletes. We do something every weekend.
The kicker is the $$. Because we still have kids that are not school aged, we still need a sitter/nanny. At least we are down 1 for preschool!
So, yes, the cost depends on your situation. For us, who work FT, the major cost is childcare & preschool.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:11 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Dont forget before and after care if you need it. Thats a few $$ a month. Our friends pay nearly $400 a month for one child for BEFORE care (that is private, not school run). Our school bus doesnt pick up until 8:30 and next year after 9am!
Care for school holidays if needed....also summer care, full time camps around here are over $100 a day.
I think there is a huge difference between a SAH parent and a FTWP. I stay home so never had child care. My kids are getting super expensive. And while its all basically optional fun stuff, its kinda must do as well because I want them exposed to things and out doing stuff.
And braces I am afraid of that when the time comes, thats a $5K bill all by itself!
And dont forget gifts. My 4yo got 10 toys for his birthday equaling probably $150. My 7yo got one gift for his birthday totalling $350. And he has a list of items over $250 that he wants for his next birthday. their tastes and wants get more expensive as well!
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:13 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Just wanted to add, playing with friends isnt as easy as one woudl think. Its not like when we were kids and you just walked outside and 10 friends we ready to play.
now we schedule playdates aroudn who has piano, religion, wrestling, lacross, ice hockey, swim lessons, soccer, travel sports, karate. ETC. What parents work full time and therefore the kids are only available on weekends. Then there's parties, both family and kiddie parties.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:17 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by summertime
The key word is "dragging". I wouldn't spend my weekend "dragging" my kids anywhere. I
do spend most weekends in fall and spring watching my kids play organized sports... lax, soccer, jiu jitsu and football. They love it so it makes it worth it in the end.
Also you don't have to spend thousands either unless your playing club teams. PAL, town leagues are very affordable. Of course you need equipment, etc.. but no way thousands.
That being said to each his own, I wouldn't be happy watching my kid sit around playing video games or watching tv all day but some people don't mind.
I agree, if anything my kids DRAG ME! LOL
My son is in cub scouts and loves it. that means community service, work to earn belt loops, fun activites like days at parks, picnics, camp outs etc. plus meetings and pack nights. He loves it and therefore I love it. I spend alot of money on this activity for him and dont question it for a second!
My younger one is in soccer, will he be the next great soccer player, probably not. But he has fun, goes with friends, runs in a bunch of circles for an hour (he is 4yo) and we are more and more a part of our community.
Each family has to find their balance. I knwo a family that runs 3 kids to multiple sports each season. This is not us. But we LOVE feeling invested and active in our school, our kids extra activities and we love the things they are being exposed to as well the the people they are befriending (and we as adults too!)
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:22 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
I swear I am NOT at all cheap but here I am thinking the SAME thing. Ride your bike, do some CHORES at home, visit family, run errands with mom and dad.
My philosphy is that M-F is for work/school. Weekends are family time, I will not be shuttling to and fro. Attend a class- sure, one game in the local league a week- no prob. Beyond that, I will not allow unecessary activities into our schedule.
I don't even like thinking about what we spend between childcare and nursery school combined....it's well over $2 grand per month. No WAY are we spending that on a school aged child.
you will be surprised at the things you find completely ridiculous, that you end up doing for your kids .........
The local leagues aren't one game a week, they are 2, minimum, sometimes with practices in there as well. If you have more than one child - there you go. (and my boys are only 4 and 6 years old) As they get older there are travel teams, in addition to school teams etc.
I am far from a pushover with my kids, but I can't tell my son "No you can't play football b/c I don't feel like rushing home to drive you there" .......
My older son just turned 6 and LOVES to play ice hockey. He's been begging to do it since 3 years old, and we started him at 4. He LOVES it, and he's good at it. Practice is 5:30 during the week (right now) DH rearranges his schedule to be able to take him ........he has games early on Saturday mornings. He plays baseball along side Hockey b/c I think it's important for them to play on a community league where they are with kids from school and the neighborhood, and we meet parents in our community as well .........but I'm not going to make him stop Hockey, which he adores, b/c of it - so we juggle both.
Believe me, I think the cost, and time and effort that goes into sports (hockey especially) is INSANE, however, it's not like it was when we were kids, sports are SO unbelievably competitive - I don't want to do my boys a disservice by not giving them the opportunity to play at a young age, because if they don't start young, they won't have a chance in hell of competing for a position when they are Jr High/High School age. Do I think it's sad and completey ridiculous? Yes .......but I do it, for them b/c I'm trying my best to set them up be successful. It seems silly, but it's something I never would have thought twice about until they hit that age, and I started seeing it.
And for two FTW parents, I will gladly pay a small fortune for 'a million activities' b/c it means my kids will have considerably less time to be hanging out doing nothing, and getting into trouble. They will be part of teams, make friends, be a part of the community. It's exhausting and expensive, but I can't imagine telling my sons 'No' b/c I don't want to be bothered. And I don't know too many 12 - 17 year olds who are happy to 'run errands with Mom & Dad" - I think that's utopian ......
You're totally entitled to raise your children as you believe. I choose to not spend my time doing something I feel is "sad and completey ridiculous" and have no problem telling my son that we don't do those activities in this house.
At 12-13 I was was definitely running errands with my family and my 12 year old niece does to this day....it's all in the values I guess? At 14 I was filling my time doing volunteer work and helping around the house until I was old enough to work...then I juggled volunteer and working...I still managed to make the varsity basketball team and secured scholarship money to a tier one school. It all worked out as it always does.
I think you misunderstood - I feel it's sad and ridiculous that it's become so competitive, I wish it were as simple for kids today as it was for us ...... but, it's not.
And that, is a fact. Regardless of what your "values" are -
that was an unnecessary dig -
I'm pretty sure involving my kids within the community is valuable, I am choosing to do it through organized activities.
Being involved in these things is great, expensive, and exhausting, but IMO good for them and for us. - but we ALSO spend time every single weekend with immediate and a very large, extended family.
Do you HAVE to 'drag your kids all over the place to a million activities all weekend" - No of course not. Like you said, you're entitled to raise your children as you believe.
But I don't think my shuttling my boys to and from baseball, hockey, etc. while you choose not to makes youir family 'values' better than mine, or even different than mine.
We are just sepnding our time differently, trying to get to the same result for our kids.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:38 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by MrsPenthouse
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
I swear I am NOT at all cheap but here I am thinking the SAME thing. Ride your bike, do some CHORES at home, visit family, run errands with mom and dad.
My philosphy is that M-F is for work/school. Weekends are family time, I will not be shuttling to and fro. Attend a class- sure, one game in the local league a week- no prob. Beyond that, I will not allow unecessary activities into our schedule.
I don't even like thinking about what we spend between childcare and nursery school combined....it's well over $2 grand per month. No WAY are we spending that on a school aged child.
you will be surprised at the things you find completely ridiculous, that you end up doing for your kids .........
The local leagues aren't one game a week, they are 2, minimum, sometimes with practices in there as well. If you have more than one child - there you go. (and my boys are only 4 and 6 years old) As they get older there are travel teams, in addition to school teams etc.
I am far from a pushover with my kids, but I can't tell my son "No you can't play football b/c I don't feel like rushing home to drive you there" .......
My older son just turned 6 and LOVES to play ice hockey. He's been begging to do it since 3 years old, and we started him at 4. He LOVES it, and he's good at it. Practice is 5:30 during the week (right now) DH rearranges his schedule to be able to take him ........he has games early on Saturday mornings. He plays baseball along side Hockey b/c I think it's important for them to play on a community league where they are with kids from school and the neighborhood, and we meet parents in our community as well .........but I'm not going to make him stop Hockey, which he adores, b/c of it - so we juggle both.
Believe me, I think the cost, and time and effort that goes into sports (hockey especially) is INSANE, however, it's not like it was when we were kids, sports are SO unbelievably competitive - I don't want to do my boys a disservice by not giving them the opportunity to play at a young age, because if they don't start young, they won't have a chance in hell of competing for a position when they are Jr High/High School age. Do I think it's sad and completey ridiculous? Yes .......but I do it, for them b/c I'm trying my best to set them up be successful. It seems silly, but it's something I never would have thought twice about until they hit that age, and I started seeing it.
And for two FTW parents, I will gladly pay a small fortune for 'a million activities' b/c it means my kids will have considerably less time to be hanging out doing nothing, and getting into trouble. They will be part of teams, make friends, be a part of the community. It's exhausting and expensive, but I can't imagine telling my sons 'No' b/c I don't want to be bothered. And I don't know too many 12 - 17 year olds who are happy to 'run errands with Mom & Dad" - I think that's utopian ......
You're totally entitled to raise your children as you believe. I choose to not spend my time doing something I feel is "sad and completey ridiculous" and have no problem telling my son that we don't do those activities in this house.
At 12-13 I was was definitely running errands with my family and my 12 year old niece does to this day....it's all in the values I guess? At 14 I was filling my time doing volunteer work and helping around the house until I was old enough to work...then I juggled volunteer and working...I still managed to make the varsity basketball team and secured scholarship money to a tier one school. It all worked out as it always does.
I think you misunderstood - I feel it's sad and ridiculous that it's become so competitive, I wish it were as simple for kids today as it was for us ...... but, it's not.
And that, is a fact. Regardless of what your "values" are -
that was an unnecessary dig -
I'm pretty sure involving my kids within the community is valuable, I am choosing to do it through organized activities.
Being involved in these things is great, expensive, and exhausting, but IMO good for them and for us. - but we ALSO spend time every single weekend with immediate and a very large, extended family.
Do you HAVE to 'drag your kids all over the place to a million activities all weekend" - No of course not. Like you said, you're entitled to raise your children as you believe.
But I don't think my shuttling my boys to and from baseball, hockey, etc. while you choose not to makes youir family 'values' better than mine, or even different than mine.
We are just sepnding our time differently, trying to get to the same result for our kids.
There was truly no digging at all. It's unfortunate you took it that way...the values comment....I wrote "I guess"? Meaning maybe it's values or dumb luck or who knows. I'm guessing- carry on and wishing you success.
Message edited 4/29/2015 3:47:30 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:45 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by summertime
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
Posted by TheDivineMrsM
Posted by evrythng4areason
I guess that makes sense then. I view so many of the things listed to be optional, not a requirement like child care.
They kind of are optional... but if they're not involved in any of these things, what are they going to do?
play at home, play in the backyard.
ride bikes with friends.
I don't remember having to be shuffled around to 10 different activities a week when I was a kid.
as a middle school kid, during the week, i'd come home and do homework and relax at home. on Saturday, I had ballet up until 13 years old or so.
Yep. Me too.
I have no desire to be spending my entire weekend dragging my DD to all kinds of activities that probably wont' mean a thing in the long run.
I'll put the money we save in her college fund.
The key word is "dragging". I wouldn't spend my weekend "dragging" my kids anywhere. I
do spend most weekends in fall and spring watching my kids play organized sports... lax, soccer, jiu jitsu and football. They love it so it makes it worth it in the end.
Also you don't have to spend thousands either unless your playing club teams. PAL, town leagues are very affordable. Of course you need equipment, etc.. but no way thousands.
That being said to each his own, I wouldn't be happy watching my kid sit around playing video games or watching tv all day but some people don't mind.
I never played any sports because I was always scared of getting hurt, not good at it, it just wasn't my thing.
I was lazy and sedentary then, and lazy and sedentary now.
So I am basing it on my experience growing up.
I personally hated sports.
My DD may be athletic. Who knows.
Message edited 4/29/2015 3:54:29 PM.
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| Posted 4/29/15 3:54 PM |
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Re: Baby vs older child expenses
Posted by SHOPAHOLIC
As they get into their teens the expenses get crazy..
Cell phone bills ( and cost of phone)
clothes/shoes get much more expensive.. no more carters lol
$$ for going out with friends - movies, eating.
tutoring
sports/activities
braces
drivers ed
prom - dress/tux, limo, tickets
car/car insurance
And if you think formula is pricey, try feeding a teenage boy. Constantly food shopping. I live at the supermarket.
ETA - Yes shoes!!! My son is in men's sizes now... he needed a new pair last weekend as his foot grew a size and a half since Christmas  Every sneaker he picked up was well over $100. Wound up with a $250 pair on sale for $175 
Yes, you are correct.
When people who have teens now had their children in daycare it was much cheaper. I started at $100/week and think ended at a little over $200/week after the 2nd child.
There is always something they need money for. Elementary school seemed to be the worst for something every week. High school is just higher amounts. PSAT's, SAT's, ACT's. SAT's are $55/piece. There are always an extra cost for books in the classes.
Drivers Ed was $540. Permit was $90. If you add your child to your car insurance it will run you $1,600 more a year. If they pay on their own it is $3,600.
Sweet Sixteen either a party or trip.
Senior pictures usually run about $300.
Senior trip is $450.
Prom is $100/ticket just to get in. Not including everything else.
College trips could cost a lot depending if you travel.
If they don't work there is always something they need or want money for. Even if they are working, that doesn't go very far.
No more eating from the kids menus when going out. You are paying full adult prices.
My 11 yr. old wears mens clothes so no more cheap $3.99 shirts or $10 pants from the kids section.
Braces were $3,600 with discount.
Sports-the cost of the sport if it is out of school and then all the things they need for the sport. The price of gas to get them to the sports or pick them up after as you go back and forth to the school multiple times a week.
Bigger gifts. You can't just get cheap coloring books anymore. Everything costs an arm and a leg.
Camp could be very expensive. Elementary school you still have aftercare or a sitter.
Oh, school supplies. They can run you into the 100's of dollars, not joking.
Religion class, that cost me $100 for the year.
I am probably missing things too.
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| Posted 4/29/15 4:02 PM |
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