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dlj97
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Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Baby that won't be put down!
DD2 is almost 8 months old and HATES to be put down. She hates her jumparoo, play mat, swing, crib, bouncer - we have tried everything. She has little interest in toys either. She just wants to be held 24/7. When you put her down she screams and cries. She gets herself so worked up it is hard for her to breathe. I obviously put her down if I have to, but it is so hard to just let her cry unnecessarily. Is there any other option?! Anyone else have a DC like this? DD1 also liked to be held, but was fine playing alone for a bit too!
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Posted 1/2/14 10:11 AM  |
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ANewDayHasCome
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Me
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Baby that won't be put down!
Has she always been like this or is it something new? Could be separation anxiety at this age.
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| Posted 1/2/14 10:13 AM |
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dlj97
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Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Has she always been like this or is it something new? Could be separation anxiety at this age.
She has always been this way, and is fine as long as someone she knows is holding her - not just me!
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| Posted 1/2/14 10:23 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
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Baby that won't be put down!
My opinion might not be a popular one but I would let here cry…..not for hours on end but there is no way I'd pick my DS up and hold him 24/7. I'd start for small periods of time and slowly increase. People will say 8 months is young but I don't think so and its not like you would leave her to cry for hours. In the beginning just do it for 2 mins and slowly increase
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| Posted 1/2/14 10:27 AM |
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MrsT809
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Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
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Baby that won't be put down!
Is she hitting gross motor milestones (sitting up, rolling, getting on all fours, up and down from sitting, etc)? Since those would be my concerns I tend to agree with pp.
DD hated tummy time always and since I didn't push the issue too much she did end up with some delays. After our first session with a physical therapist at 14 months we were told to put her on her belly every time we put her down and it was hard. She cried but I would lay next to her, play with her, put Elmo on and let her watch, whatever I needed to do to get a few minutes out of her. One day of doing this nonstop and she learned to get up to sitting on her own. Just wondering if it's a separation issue or not being able to move around easily that's upsetting her.
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| Posted 1/2/14 10:39 AM |
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dlj97
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Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by MrsT809
Is she hitting gross motor milestones (sitting up, rolling, getting on all fours, up and down from sitting, etc)? Since those would be my concerns I tend to agree with pp.
DD hated tummy time always and since I didn't push the issue too much she did end up with some delays. After our first session with a physical therapist at 14 months we were told to put her on her belly every time we put her down and it was hard. She cried but I would lay next to her, play with her, put Elmo on and let her watch, whatever I needed to do to get a few minutes out of her. One day of doing this nonstop and she learned to get up to sitting on her own. Just wondering if it's a separation issue or not being able to move around easily that's upsetting her.
She sits up and rolls from back to belly, but doesn't roll from belly to back. She can lift he chest up, but not get up on all fours, and isn't close to pulling herself up or sitting herself up. These are my concerns too - I don't think something is wrong, just that she hasn't had enough practice since we can't put her down. The problem with just putting her down is that she gets so worked up that she can't practice these skills - she just freaks out. She gets herself so worked up she literally has trouble breathing.
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:05 AM |
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dlj97
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Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by alli3131
My opinion might not be a popular one but I would let here cry…..not for hours on end but there is no way I'd pick my DS up and hold him 24/7. I'd start for small periods of time and slowly increase. People will say 8 months is young but I don't think so and its not like you would leave her to cry for hours. In the beginning just do it for 2 mins and slowly increase
I hear you, and I do sometimes, but it breaks my heart!
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:08 AM |
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cheryl28
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
do you try and sit next to her. This way you are close to her. With some toys and interact with her. I would do that for a period of time and lessen it over time.
Maybe she's frustrated she can't get around yet?
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:11 AM |
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Strawberry2468
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
She wont settle even if you sit right near her? Even if there is a super cool toy you can play with her? It could just be because she has always been held b/c once she cries she gets picked up. She doesn't know anything else. Maybe sit her in a boppy for short periods of time and stay with her and sing/hum so she is soothed and she knows you are there, but don't pick her up. Act all exicited about a toy to distract her. Just to break her of the habit and let her know she's ok sitting on her own.
Message edited 1/2/2014 11:14:11 AM.
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:13 AM |
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NYCGirl80
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Personally, I think you have to find a way to put her down. At 8 months, she should already be rolling both ways. And she should be crawling, or at least very close. Also, it will just get harder to put her down as she gets older (separation anxiety will kick in in another month or 2).
I'd be concerned that her muscles aren't getting enough of a workout if she's being held all the time. How does she sleep? Or nap? I presume you put her down then. Maybe talk to her ped for more specific advice.
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:34 AM |
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dlj97
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Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by NYCGirl80
Personally, I think you have to find a way to put her down. At 8 months, she should already be rolling both ways. And she should be crawling, or at least very close. Also, it will just get harder to put her down as she gets older (separation anxiety will kick in in another month or 2).
I'd be concerned that her muscles aren't getting enough of a workout if she's being held all the time. How does she sleep? Or nap? I presume you put her down then. Maybe talk to her ped for more specific advice.
She sleeps in my arms! Another problem for another thread, lol. I def think she isn't getting enough of a workout. I don't think it is separation anxiety, since she lets other people hold her. I guess there is just no getting around letting her cry!
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:47 AM |
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dlj97
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Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by Strawberry2468
She wont settle even if you sit right near her? Even if there is a super cool toy you can play with her? It could just be because she has always been held b/c once she cries she gets picked up. She doesn't know anything else. Maybe sit her in a boppy for short periods of time and stay with her and sing/hum so she is soothed and she knows you are there, but don't pick her up. Act all exicited about a toy to distract her. Just to break her of the habit and let her know she's ok sitting on her own.
Nope. Sometimes she will, but most of the time she won't. Sometimes she is interested in a toy, but usually she will just smack my hands away when I try to put her paci in or play with a toy. She knows what she wants!
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| Posted 1/2/14 11:49 AM |
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BlessedMomma
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Baby that won't be put down!
Like pp have stated, I would just be more concerned about the fact that she doesnt even want to try and there are milestones shes not hitting.
I personally do not think 8 months is young at all. By 8 months she should be able to entertain herself for short periods of time. She should want to sit up by herself, rolling around, crawling or trying to crawl and trying to pull herself up. And the fact that she doesnt even want to play with toys because she just wants to be held seems odd to me too. It kind of sounds like shes always been carried everywhere and picked up the second she cries so shes not even bothering to try... And she knows if she cries hard enough youll just come get her...
Unfortunately I think you need to let her cry it out a little bit at a time.
And I would 100% advise talking to your peds first to make sure there isnt any issue. Its better to catch these things early. My nephew had problems with his muscles. he had low muscle tone and it made him not want to do anything, including chew. He even had low oral muscle tone. he went to therapy right away and it was resolved pretty quickly. My brother continued to work with him through the years but they noticed it right away and spoke to their peds right away...So its better to discuss these things right away.
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/2/14 12:38 PM |
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MarisaK
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by alli3131
My opinion might not be a popular one but I would let here cry…..not for hours on end but there is no way I'd pick my DS up and hold him 24/7. I'd start for small periods of time and slowly increase. People will say 8 months is young but I don't think so and its not like you would leave her to cry for hours. In the beginning just do it for 2 mins and slowly increase
I agree - have you tried to put on the TV for her maybe if she is distracted with SOMETHING she's interested in, she won't scream bloody murder. -
I'm not saying park her in front of the TV for days - but if it will help you and her to work toward being able to put her down, it's worth it -
What about a musical toy?
Or, maybe sit her on the floor facing you and play w/ her that way? Or sit next to her to watch TV? (not in your lap, but next to you)
Is it that you can't leave the room, or you can't put her down AT ALL ?
Good Luck !!
ETA - just read through the other posts ......did you do 'tummy time' w/ her?
I'd def speak to the doctor, but I think it's going to come down to YOU calling the shots and her just having to deal w/ it.
Message edited 1/2/2014 2:03:45 PM.
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| Posted 1/2/14 2:01 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by BlessedMomma
Like pp have stated, I would just be more concerned about the fact that she doesnt even want to try and there are milestones shes not hitting.
I personally do not think 8 months is young at all. By 8 months she should be able to entertain herself for short periods of time. She should want to sit up by herself, rolling around, crawling or trying to crawl and trying to pull herself up. And the fact that she doesnt even want to play with toys because she just wants to be held seems odd to me too. It kind of sounds like shes always been carried everywhere and picked up the second she cries so shes not even bothering to try... And she knows if she cries hard enough youll just come get her...
Unfortunately I think you need to let her cry it out a little bit at a time.
And I would 100% advise talking to your peds first to make sure there isnt any issue. Its better to catch these things early. My nephew had problems with his muscles. he had low muscle tone and it made him not want to do anything, including chew. He even had low oral muscle tone. he went to therapy right away and it was resolved pretty quickly. My brother continued to work with him through the years but they noticed it right away and spoke to their peds right away...So its better to discuss these things right away.
Good luck!
Thanks. We have an appointment next week, so I will raise it. ITA - which is the biggest reason I am concerned. To me babies should be curious and want to explore - not just sit on your lap!
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| Posted 1/2/14 2:14 PM |
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ChristinaM128
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Christina
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
DD gets clingy, mostly with just me though. If you sit down on the floor with her in your lap, will she then play? Then you can gradually have her sit next to you, start to move away, etc. that's what I have to do with dd most of the time.
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| Posted 1/2/14 3:41 PM |
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Xelindrya
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Baby that won't be put down!
Well AJ didn't roll until nearly 9 and didn't army crawl, ever. Didn't do the all fours thing either. She sat up but that was it. She was fine. not all kids hit the milestones on time. But sure ask your doctor. Ours just said as long as she held her head up she was good. She crawled one day and off she went. She went from sitting to standing to walking and never held onto anything to support her. She fell into us instead until she got it herself. She would put her hands near her feet and push herself up.
I held her as much as I could. Always.
She would have be touching me at all times. I let her sleep by herself once she fell asleep but to fall asleep she was with me. always as much as I could manage. She was in daycare at 4m so I don't know about them. But when I was home she was with me or him. Don't regret it one bit. Miss those days always.
I used to call AJ lazy.. she was curious but not into going to things. I tried the toy out of her reach thing once, she pulled the blanket to bring it closer. I call that logic and problem solving LOL! when she couldn't she'd stare at it then turn away. Not cry for it, she'd just give up on it. LOL
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| Posted 1/2/14 5:25 PM |
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drpepper318
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Wow, I was thinking of posting the same thing & then I came on here earlier & read your post! I couldn't respond because DH wasn't home with me & I couldn't put the baby down! LOL
Even as I'm placing him down, he starts crying! I can't even get as far as actually putting him down.
What's weird is it's not all the time. There are days when he's totally fine with it. But the days when he wants to be held, it's impossible to get anything else done.
I don't know the solution either. But I can relate!
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| Posted 1/2/14 8:35 PM |
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nycgirl
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
You sound like my sister.
It's just spoilage... Put the kid down. And in a crib for sleep. It's only going to get harder as the kid grows.
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| Posted 1/3/14 11:01 AM |
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dlj97
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by drpepper318
Wow, I was thinking of posting the same thing & then I came on here earlier & read your post! I couldn't respond because DH wasn't home with me & I couldn't put the baby down! LOL
Even as I'm placing him down, he starts crying! I can't even get as far as actually putting him down.
What's weird is it's not all the time. There are days when he's totally fine with it. But the days when he wants to be held, it's impossible to get anything else done.
I don't know the solution either. But I can relate!
Glad I am not alone! Lol.
Funny - today she has been much better too - she has been playing a little by herself, and when I put her in the crib to go do something, she moved herself forward and tried to lift herself up on the side of the crib!
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| Posted 1/3/14 1:10 PM |
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dlj97
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by nycgirl
You sound like my sister.
It's just spoilage... Put the kid down. And in a crib for sleep. It's only going to get harder as the kid grows.
ITA, but it is so hard! I am a FTWM, and I am gone long hours. I also am still EBFing, so the night is our time to bond! I did the same with DD1, and now we have two kids in our Queen sized bed - not fun! I know it is my fault, but I can't bring myself to let them cry!
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| Posted 1/3/14 1:12 PM |
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EandF
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by dlj97
Posted by drpepper318
Wow, I was thinking of posting the same thing & then I came on here earlier & read your post! I couldn't respond because DH wasn't home with me & I couldn't put the baby down! LOL
Even as I'm placing him down, he starts crying! I can't even get as far as actually putting him down.
What's weird is it's not all the time. There are days when he's totally fine with it. But the days when he wants to be held, it's impossible to get anything else done.
I don't know the solution either. But I can relate!
Glad I am not alone! Lol.
Funny - today she has been much better too - she has been playing a little by herself, and when I put her in the crib to go do something, she moved herself forward and tried to lift herself up on the side of the crib!
You are most definitely not alone! DD just turned 5 mos and she is the same way. Not only always wants to be held, but wants to be walked around so she can look around. She will also only nap in our arms, which is just crazy to me. I've been hearing about being careful not to spoil her by holding her too much since she was 3 days old!!
It's hard and exhausting. She's getting a bit better as she gets older. She likes her activity mat and will play there for a little while. We've gotten her to nap in the Ergo. She doesn't love the swing. Will be trying the jumperoo and exersaucer soon. Hoping for some success with those.
I wish I had some advice.  We just all need to be patient and get through it.
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| Posted 1/4/14 11:14 PM |
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YOLO13
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Baby that won't be put down!
"Put the kid down" sounds a bit rough to me. I am a hold my baby as much as I can mom and so I know the feeling as well as the concern. She sleeps with me and she sometimes will sleep in her rnp. I ebf and I think this has a lot to do with it. It's human nature for you as a mother to want to hold your child and your child want to be with mommy or daddy(feeling secure). It's a pain in the ass sometimes bc I just want to get stuff done , but lookin back I got what I needed to do done and I don't regret one day I have spent holding or loving on her. One day we will be crying for them to want us to hold them or sleep with them. I think some kids are just better on their own. Mine, not so much. One day she will be but for right now she just isn't. Do tummy time with her laying on your chest if need be. Have her sit on your lap and play, then on the floor in between your legs and then slowly next to you and so on. Good luck and I'm here if you want to pm to talk. I know this feeling very well...
Message edited 1/5/2014 9:44:58 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/14 9:42 PM |
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Strawberry2468
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Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by dlj97
Posted by drpepper318
Wow, I was thinking of posting the same thing & then I came on here earlier & read your post! I couldn't respond because DH wasn't home with me & I couldn't put the baby down! LOL
Even as I'm placing him down, he starts crying! I can't even get as far as actually putting him down.
What's weird is it's not all the time. There are days when he's totally fine with it. But the days when he wants to be held, it's impossible to get anything else done.
I don't know the solution either. But I can relate!
Glad I am not alone! Lol.
Funny - today she has been much better too - she has been playing a little by herself, and when I put her in the crib to go do something, she moved herself forward and tried to lift herself up on the side of the crib!
That's great! I remember my girls being very difficult and whiney when they couldn't move around or do much yet. As they got around, they got better. Hopefully she gets past the milestones soon. :)
Message edited 1/5/2014 11:26:18 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/14 11:24 PM |
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nycgirl
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Re: Baby that won't be put down!
Posted by dlj97
Posted by nycgirl
You sound like my sister.
It's just spoilage... Put the kid down. And in a crib for sleep. It's only going to get harder as the kid grows.
ITA, but it is so hard! I am a FTWM, and I am gone long hours. I also am still EBFing, so the night is our time to bond! I did the same with DD1, and now we have two kids in our Queen sized bed - not fun! I know it is my fault, but I can't bring myself to let them cry!
You are FTWM? How does it work when you are gone? If someone else is taking care of your baby & puts her down, then it's that much easier.
For sleep, because my kids are really attached to me, I have DH put them to bed. It works. Each goes in their crib, gets covered by a blanket, kiss on head & he leaves the room. First, I had to retrain them to sleep in cribs because I spoiled them at exactly 8 months. I did it by sitting in room, but slowly moving a chair towards the door (over weeks). It was harder with my son, DC1 because he was spoiled longer. DD, DC2 had no chance!
Unless, of course, you like having 2 kids in your bed or holding DC all the time. That's ok too.
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| Posted 1/6/14 8:21 AM |
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