Anyone FF one child and BF another?

This is not meant to start drama in any way. I am genuinely curious based on my situation. I had my first LO 4 months ago. I really wanted to BF but had a ton of issues and after a few weeks went to FF. It was very difficult for me at first. I was so disappointed and felt so much guilt. It was a really rough time for me. Now, months later, most of the time I am completely fine with it. I am so close to my DD and she is thriving wonderfully. Occasionally, I still have bouts of guilt and regret. I even considered trying to relactate but I don't think it would work. I really don't have the support I need and I feel like a lot of the original issues would just resurface.

Anyway, it got me thinking about if and when I have another DC. I would really love to try to EBF especially now with the experience I had and the knowledge I now have. Then I feel guilty b/c I didn't get to BF my first. I know it's crazy but I feel like I would be betraying her...doing something for one that I didn't/couldn't do for the other. I'm just wondering if anyone had a situation similar to this and what your feelings were.

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

Not sure if this helps, but my mom is super super pro bf-ing (retired LC and nurse), but she couldn't breastfeed me. I was very early/sick. She however, successfully breastfeed my younger sister and brother, I never felt betrayed or had any hard feelings (about that! hahah).

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

One of my close irl friends was unable to nurse her first because of poor latch/no milk, but I helped her figure out how to get her second to latch while in the hospital when I visited her. I gave her pillows and showed her what to do. I then asked the nurse to get the LC into her room. She was able to provide additional support for my friend. My friend was able to nurse her second DC for over a year. So yes, it is completely possible. Either way, ff or bf, happy mommy, happy baby. Good luck.

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

I've tried BF with all of my kids with no success but I was 100% determined to be successful this time around. HOWEVER, my son's bilirubin level was so high that I was told to pump and store and NOT give BM because we needed to force feed him so he could poop the bilirubin out. After all my pumping, I was getting NOTHING (very little that I added to his bottles after it was OK) and since he was already now on formula, I just stopped. I was disappointed because I REALLY wanted to succeed but my kids are very healthy and all were/are formula fed

ETA - the whole reason why I couldn't give him BM was to rule out that the jaundice was being caused by my milk.

Message edited 7/30/2012 11:11:55 PM.

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

I EBF #1 for 1 year. He never had formula. I am lucky in that BF came easy and I was a SAHM. He's a happy and healthy 8 year old and 1 or 2 sick visit to the pediatrician in all those 8 years.

#2 - she was FF. I really didn't have a choice, I got sick and hospitalized with a severe kidney infection after she was born and went on to have surgery on my kidney and mega doses of the antibiotic Levaquin, which was not compatible to BF. She is now 6 and amazingly healthy, just 1 sick visit in 6 years.

#3 is currently being EBF. He's 5 months. Not sure how long I will go, if or when I will give formula, etc.

In my case, both cases worked out well and I have no regrets. I don't feel like my FF DD was disadvantaged in any way. I could go on and on about why I liked each way over the other, but that's not the point.

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

First of all, if you tried to BF & really had to stop, you did what you could do... nothing to feel bad about. A large part of it, IMO, is support, and I feel hospitals need to give more support to moms who want to BF. (I still BF my 15 month old, but I had support and determination).

Secondly, don't give #2 any less than you gave #1 in terms of effort. I would be just as determined to BF the next one and do all you can do, just as you did before. If it works out, you can be proud. If it doesn't, you can be proud that you gave it your all. I don't think there's anything wrong w/ that at all.

FYI, a close family friend had 9 kids & only BF'd the last 2. I know that she wishes she BF'd all of the kids, but really only realized the benefits later on when it was too late to BF a teenager ;)

Lastly, if support was an issue for you, seek out support from friends, family, & professionals BEFORE you give birth... This way, you know where to turn when you need the support & have the baby.

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

Ds#1- never nursed
Dd#1- wouldn't latch, pumped 3 months
Dd#2- BF'ed until 8 months supplemented with formula
Ds#2- is 16 months and still nurses. Never had a drop of formula.


With DS#2 I love breastfeeding and I am happy it's work out great. With DD#2 I hated it. It just was more hassle and heartache then I thought it would be. I wish it would have come this naturally with my girls and I really wish I would at least have tried to nurse DS#1.

Message edited 7/31/2012 12:11:32 AM.

Re: Anyone FF one child and BF another?

I BF all of my other kids and am now FF my DS because of medical reasons. For the first few weeks of the transition over I did feel like I was betraying him and that he wasn't getting what my other DC have gotten from me. I just tell myself I did the best for him with what options were availabe to me, and if I had another DC and could nurse I'd tell myself the same thing.