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Lala08
2 Princesses coming soon!
Member since 12/12 1539 total posts
Name:
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Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Last night before we knew that I would be getting a BFN today DH and I started discussing what our next steps might be. I think I only have one more IUI covered then we would have to think of IVF. Both are costly and just wondering if maybe adoption is the way to go. IVF there is no guarantee you get a take home baby. Just wondering if anyone else has thought about this
I should add that my desire to be a mom is greater than my desire to carry my child if that makes sense.
Message edited 5/11/2013 6:06:54 PM.
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Posted 5/11/13 6:06 PM  |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
You have FM
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| Posted 5/11/13 6:49 PM |
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hazel2
LIF Infant
Member since 5/13 346 total posts
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Yes, I know that feeling - supposed to start IVF in June/July if it doesn't happen before, and I'm feeling the same way u are.
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| Posted 5/11/13 8:09 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
We talked about it and decided to do IVF instead.
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| Posted 5/11/13 9:10 PM |
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Yes but we weren't on the same page. And honestly, in the end, IVF was a lot cheaper than adoption options I did look into. And there are no guarantees with adoption leading to parenthood, either. It's a very personal decision and I totally get what you mean about wanting to be a Mom...
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| Posted 5/11/13 11:47 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Posted by BaseballWidow
Yes but we weren't on the same page. And honestly, in the end, IVF was a lot cheaper than adoption options I did look into. And there are no guarantees with adoption leading to parenthood, either. It's a very personal decision and I totally get what you mean about wanting to be a Mom...
Exactly. Just like when I chose surrogacy and people thought it would be a 'quick fix', it's absolutely not! Adoption is a much harder process than people think. I know someone who went through the process multiple times before having her children. One birth mother backed out last minute (after they paid for prenatal costs) and another one of the babies they were hoping to adopt was a stillborn. I'm not saying this to be discouraging AT ALL because adoption is a beautiful thing.. just saying that the reality of it is, it's not easy no matter which path you take. You just have to hope to get lucky.   I wouldn't choose adoption because you want a baby faster, I would make the decision if and only if it's what you truly WANT to do.
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| Posted 5/12/13 12:37 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
We have one, maybe two, more tries at IVF and then we will most likely stop trying. As a PP said, we can not agree on adoption - one party is "against" it. If both parties are on the same page, I would see no reason to not move forward with it if IVF is not something that interests you.
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| Posted 5/12/13 7:31 AM |
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Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
no, we didnt even consider adoption. we went straight to ivf, it gives you much better odds than iui and its not this huge and tortuous process they make it seem like on tv. most people i know irl did multiple iuis only to go on to ivf and get pregnant. adoption is very expensive, makes ivf look cheap, and also isnt a guarantee, unfortunately. its a hard decision to have to make and im so sorry youre in this position
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| Posted 5/12/13 7:53 AM |
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TyReseGreen
Lil Prince is here
Member since 8/11 6338 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Adoption was never an option. We only did IVF never IUIs. After this last IVF cycle (FET) I was ready to throw in the towel and say screw this maybe it wasn't meant to be to have anymore DC, but that is when I got a BFP.
The women that I have met who have done IUIs and haven't had luck has had luck with IVF. IVF can be emotional and financially draining but I think it's worth the try.
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| Posted 5/13/13 6:10 AM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
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Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
I considered adoption throughout most of my IF journey (~3 years). I got info packets. The reality is, adoption is NOT the easy way out! It's soooo expensive, time consuming (all the steps involved), and takes a LONG time to get your baby. And for me, in the end, my desire to have another biological child was so strong, I had to try all avenues before going through with adoption. Good luck with whatever you decide!
(FTR, going through IVF isn't that bad at all)
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| Posted 5/13/13 10:51 AM |
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Lala08
2 Princesses coming soon!
Member since 12/12 1539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Thanks everyone for your input. DH and I leave tomorrow on our trip so hopefully we will discuss a little bit and relax the rest of the time. We definitely do not think that Adoption is the easy way. We know it is expensive. DH is always concerned about my health(I have sever back issues) so in the back of his mind he is always concerned about how I would handle a pregnancy. I decided to get serious about getting healthy and losing weight. I am going to cut out gluten and other carbs and see if maybe that is causing our IF issues. Hopefully this trip will get us set up on the right track and onto our BFP !! I appreciate everyone's input and advice! You girls are the best!
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| Posted 5/13/13 11:03 AM |
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DitD
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/12 650 total posts
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
I was willing to do two IVF cycles, and put in all my energy into homeopathic methods as well. After 2 IVF if it hadn't worked, then yes, most likely we would have looked into adoption, and most likely foster/adoption.
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| Posted 5/13/13 5:59 PM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
DH and I seriously started to discuss adoption after our first IVF cycle failed. DH was all for it but after doing the research I soon realized that adoption wasn't a guarantee either. So we decided to move forward with our 2nd IVF which was a success for us. Now that we're thinking about DC#2, I'm again thinking about adotpion.
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| Posted 5/14/13 11:18 AM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Lala, seriously we think alike. Me and DH just had a convo about this a few days ago! My uncle has been a foster parent for decades and has adopted most of the kids. He has given these children wonderful lives. I know there can be a ton of drama and $$ attached to adoption but we are still keeping it in thought if IVF does not work for us. We rather spend the $ and at least try all of our options first before going to adoption. Hopefully you will not need to go these routes. Have a wonderful vacation not thinking about bloodwork and monitoring!! I recently had a spa getaway with DH and it was HEAVENLY!! A good way to recharge.
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| Posted 5/14/13 3:38 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Posted by BaseballWidow
Yes but we weren't on the same page. And honestly, in the end, IVF was a lot cheaper than adoption options I did look into. And there are no guarantees with adoption leading to parenthood, either. It's a very personal decision and I totally get what you mean about wanting to be a Mom...
This. Good luck
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| Posted 5/14/13 4:40 PM |
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stargazerlily
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 706 total posts
Name:
Lara
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Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
We hadn't discussed it but for myself I would have considered adoption. My FET cycle was a success and now I have DD. I would probably not consider adoption for a second child.
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| Posted 5/15/13 2:59 PM |
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Lala08
2 Princesses coming soon!
Member since 12/12 1539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone consider adoption over IVF?
Thanks everyone. Just got back from Aruba. It was awesome but too short. Felt good not to have to wake up to go to a dr office. DH and I are going to explore all options if next cycles IUI is a bust. Gonna talk to Dr Halfen next week. Hopefully this will all be just talk. I will admit I thought about it often and imagined myself their with an infant. Watched all the families and knew I wanted to be that more than ever. Hopefully soon!!
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| Posted 5/18/13 7:34 PM |
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