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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
I'll state up front that we are not exchanging this year - maybe a few odds and ends, but the bulk will be for the kids.
My question is, if you do exchange with your SO? How does that work? Do you put money aside and buy gifts out of that amount?
My feeling is and has been that we have a joint account. If she buys me a gift, and pays for it with money out of the joint account, it's not really a gift, since I'm paying for it, as it's out of a joint account.
Just curious on some of the different approaches to this.
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Posted 11/4/10 1:08 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
We have a joint account as well as separate accounts. That way when I'm buying Christmas gifts or bday gifts he has no clue where they're coming from. I also use my own account money to buy some of my own things like manis/pedis, handbags, etc. From our base salary, we each have a specific amount we have put in our savings. Any bonuses or other cash we get we take a percentage each and the rest goes to household money/savings.
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:24 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
In that type of situation, I would conisder the thought and effort of getting the gift as the gift and not necessarily the item itself since it's coming from joint funds.
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:28 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
I usually put them on my personal CC and just pay my CC, he has no idea what the purchases are for - just the amounts.
ETA: Since it's joint - it's still MY money that goes in there... MY money that goes out. KWIM?
Message edited 11/4/2010 1:30:51 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:30 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
I figure that ever since we got married, ALL money is "joint", even if it's labeled differently. We do each have separate accounts, but all that means is that we carve a piece out of the joint account and move it around to another account. There really isn't a "my money" or "her money". For me, the idea of buying DW a gift, is to get something that she wants, but wouldn't necessarily get herself. "It's the thought that counts".
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:36 PM |
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christinec2010
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 637 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
We use our seperate accounts to purchase gifts for each other.
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:38 PM |
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MikesBride
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 1245 total posts
Name:
Ilana
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Our joint account is only for joint bills...we each keep our own separate accounts for things we want to buy for ourselves...clothes, videogames, etc.
We buy presents out of there.
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:43 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by GoldenRod
I figure that ever since we got married, ALL money is "joint", even if it's labeled differently. We do each have separate accounts, but all that means is that we carve a piece out of the joint account and move it around to another account. There really isn't a "my money" or "her money". For me, the idea of buying DW a gift, is to get something that she wants, but wouldn't necessarily get herself. "It's the thought that counts".
thats pretty much how i see it too
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| Posted 11/4/10 1:48 PM |
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-Lisa-
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Member since 5/05 6530 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by GoldenRod
I figure that ever since we got married, ALL money is "joint", even if it's labeled differently. There really isn't a "my money" or "her money". For me, the idea of buying DW a gift, is to get something that she wants, but wouldn't necessarily get herself. "It's the thought that counts".
that.
and we keep separate credit cards (paid from the joint acct) so we don't keep tabs on each others spending dollar for dollar.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:05 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Our $$ is our $$ and it doesn't matter to me that he used our $$ to buy me gifts, as I do him.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:15 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by heathergirl
Our $$ is our $$ and it doesn't matter to me that he used our $$ to buy me gifts, as I do him.
Same here.
When we first got married, I made more than DH, then I became a SAHM and made nothing, now I have a business out of the house and make less than DH. At all stages all of the money in our accounts was equally ours regardless of who earned it.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:30 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Good points all around. I get the whole "it's the thought that counts" thing. And naturally, once you get married, in most cases, it's no longer "mine" and "yours" - it's "ours"
In our case though, we don't really ever want or ask each other for stuff that we wouldn't buy for ourselves.
Alot of what I like is usually DVDs of some kind. I could easily buy them for myself. If I did that, I'd still use the joint account. And if she bought them as a gift, I'd use the joint account.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:55 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
Name:
Krista
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
our accounts are joint... but we pretty much make equal $ so if dh buys me a gift, i don't feel like it was paid for by me... i mean, we both work just as hard for our money and IMO the gift is more about the thought anyway. i never think in terms of MY $ or HIS $ - finances has been the one thing we've never had a problem with (though lhe Lord knows we've had many others!) and i think he feels the same way i do. when it comes to christmas though, we have a budget that we stick to - we set $ aside every paycheck all year long and when the time comes for shopping, unless a purchase is made online, we pay for it in cash. so he takes X amount of that fund and uses it to buy my gift, and i do the same. we have an agreed apon amount to spend, and we don't go over.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:58 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
We have a joint account as well. What we do is decided on an amount we want to spend and take that out in cash. This way the transaction does not come up on the statement.
I handle the finances and do everything online so I will know where he bought me a present if he uses the check card.
ETA: His Paycheck/My paycheck is our money. We never have thought otherwise.
Message edited 11/4/2010 3:03:53 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:58 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by Christine
In that type of situation, I would conisder the thought and effort of getting the gift as the gift and not necessarily the item itself since it's coming from joint funds.
Same for us. DH goes to the store, picks out my gifts, purchases them, wraps them and gives them to me.
It's the thought and effort that counts.
Message edited 11/5/2010 12:58:54 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/10 2:59 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by Christine
In that type of situation, I would conisder the thought and effort of getting the gift as the gift and not necessarily the item itself since it's coming from joint funds.
That's how we think of it, and we buy things for each other that we wouldn't buy for ourselves.
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| Posted 11/4/10 3:01 PM |
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missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
I use my credit card so he doesn't seem what I got him..but I just end up paying it off out of our joint account.
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| Posted 11/4/10 3:09 PM |
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Andrewz00
Look! I changed it!
Member since 4/10 1789 total posts
Name:
Andrew
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by Mici C
We have a joint account as well as separate accounts. That way when I'm buying Christmas gifts or bday gifts he has no clue where they're coming from. I also use my own account money to buy some of my own things like manis/pedis, handbags, etc. From our base salary, we each have a specific amount we have put in our savings. Any bonuses or other cash we get we take a percentage each and the rest goes to household money/savings.
Exactly the same over here....
EDT: it also keeps me from completely flipping out when she tells me shes going shopping AGAIN!!!
Message edited 11/4/2010 3:31:49 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/10 3:31 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Our money is our money we don't have separate money. The gift is about thinking about and going out and getting it - not whose money is used.
What if the SO was a stay at home parent they don't have their own money per se so they shouldn't get dh/dw a present?
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| Posted 11/4/10 3:33 PM |
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jasmine
little boy blue <3
Member since 10/10 1475 total posts
Name:
x
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
we fully share everything and only have joint accounts. it's the thought that counts with gifts, not "she/he paid for it so it didn't cost me anything"
keeping gifts secret is a little more of a challenge though, but we still manage to keep our gifts a surprise
Message edited 11/4/2010 4:23:11 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/10 4:22 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by -Lisa-
Posted by GoldenRod
I figure that ever since we got married, ALL money is "joint", even if it's labeled differently. There really isn't a "my money" or "her money". For me, the idea of buying DW a gift, is to get something that she wants, but wouldn't necessarily get herself. "It's the thought that counts".
that.
and we keep separate credit cards (paid from the joint acct) so we don't keep tabs on each others spending dollar for dollar.
I agree
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| Posted 11/4/10 4:34 PM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
we have the same situation.
and DH always laughs and says... so what are you buying me with my money 
we are mostly buying for the kids, so maybe just a few small things . and yes i will be using his money  but i mean SMALL items.. like a dvd, shirt.. something along those lines
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| Posted 11/4/10 4:41 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by MetsGirl07
we have the same situation.
and DH always laughs and says... so what are you buying me with my money
we are mostly buying for the kids, so maybe just a few small things . and yes i will be using his money but i mean SMALL items.. like a dvd, shirt.. something along those lines
Thanks D - I'm glad you see my dilemma.
All - let's clarify something. I am NOT suggesting that the money is MINE. I work FT and she is a SAHM, so all the money that comes in is from my paycheck, but it's OURS. If I inferred anything differently, I apologize.
I feel like I'm in that Eddie Murphy routine - HALF! GIVE ME HALF EDDIE!!!!!!!!!
The point you all made about the thought counting no matter how it's spent, is a good one.
My main position in this is that we never really ask for things that we wouldn't be comfortable buying ourselves, so whether I click the Amazon order button or she does, it's not much of a difference.
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| Posted 11/4/10 5:00 PM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name:
nicole
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Posted by heathergirl
Our $$ is our $$ and it doesn't matter to me that he used our $$ to buy me gifts, as I do him.
ITA
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| Posted 11/4/10 7:23 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Sposual Holiday Gift Exchange Question - Those with Joint Accounts
Message edited 11/4/2010 9:08:31 PM.
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| Posted 11/4/10 8:09 PM |
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