Another comment by day care teacher...

The other day I posted about Thomas' day care teacher saying that he doesn't like to share and he's taking toys from other children (he's 9 months and just started to crawl).

This morning, when I brought Thomas to day care, he was wiggling out of my arms because he wanted to get down on the floor and crawl. His head teacher said, Thomas doesn’t like to be held when he doesn’t want to be held. Then she said Thomas doesn’t like to do anything, if he wants to do something else. As she said it she was smiling at him and saying I'm telling your secrets, I told you I was gonna tell. She wasn't being nasty or anything - more saying it matter of factly, but also not like it was something good! I just laughed and said, yes, he’s very strong-minded, he knows what he wants. Do you think she was criticizing him or am I being overly sensitive after comment about him not sharing the other day? I think it’s also normal for babies who are this age to be like that and want what they want. Some are more strong-minded than others, but I think it’s normal. Do you think it’s normal, or do you think he’s a terror in the making???

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

I would be mad, Infants that crawl, do not want to be held too much, they have other means of getting around now, they want to explore on their own with crawling.


Of course I wouldn't take it as an insult, but yes it would bother me a little.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

You know your child better than anyone, it's not like she has to keep "reminding" you that he wants to crawl instead of being held. I think she has a small case of diarrhea of the mouth. He sounds like a perfectly normal 9 month old!

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

She needs to get a grip!!!!

While I dont think the comments today were out of line the comment about him not sharing is out there...While I feel it is never to late to teach a child how to share a 9 month old shouldnt be "expected" to share...

I forget exactly when they really start to get the whole sharing thing..Im going to say around 3 or so. When they start really playing with other children. Before that it's a lot of parallel play (you do your thing I'll do mine) where they play more "next to each other" instead of really "with each other".

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

I don't think she meant it in a mean way. Just like "I am telling on you".

A terror... NO.

BUT I have a 7.5 months baby who is "attempting" to crawl and have told our daycare that I do not want DS to be with babies like yours (Sorry!! ). Not because they are mean but because DS cannot protect himself yet since he is barely moving. So if a kid takes his toy, it's not fair to him. DS does not cry but does not understand why another baby takes his toys.

That's NOT your child's fault. That's really up to the daycare teacher to make sure the kids are supervised and associated with children of the same level. Since she also spends most of the day with DC, SHE should teach him how to interact with other children.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

I think he is perfectly normal (I had the same fears and at almost 18 months he is still not sharing but they tell me it's totally normal). She sounds like one that just likes to point out the babies' personality traits. It's probably annoying to you, but I prefer a teacher who overcommunicates rather than tells you nothing about his day!

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

no no no no no

Thomas is not a terror...he never will be. He's a sweetie pie!

I am so shocked by the comments the teacher makes...he was a perfect angel on Saturday AND he was tired!

I think in her own way she was trying to explain how well she feels that knows your son. It just really came out wrong.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

i am sorry dont let her get to you, your DS sounds like a typical 9 month old. Maybe you are feeling a little sensitive right now, but also her little comments aren't helping, whether she meant them in a positive or negative way.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

Like you said, all of those behaviors are normal at this age. I would be annoyed. Being in the childcare profession, she should be aware that parents take all comments to heart, even if they are meant to be harmless. I am sorry that she thinks this is "cute" and is upsetting you.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

Next time just say to her...oh you mean he'slike any other baby this age?

Message edited 2/7/2008 10:11:33 AM.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

He sounds normal to me. His teacher however, sounds weird.

First of all, children his age don't really understand sharing--it could be that he is a little less docile than some other kids and protests if a toy he likes is taken away, but most babies his age just don't get sharing, and don't really play directly with other babies.

Second, once babies realize they can move independently, they don't like to be held so much.


Has she been working with children long? Or is she trying to impose her own ideas of how babies should behave upon them?

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

Sounds to me like she was being cheeky...I would just shrug it off. Don't be too sensitive about it!

The girls at my nursery tell me the same kinds of things, all of which I am completely aware of!!!

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

I would subtly let her know how she is behaving by saying, wow, sorry to hear that his behavior is too much for you to handle. Could you let me know of what he is doing well? I have to say- in daycare it is dog eat dog. Before he could crawl and assert himself kids took his toys and now he is doing the same. At that age its I see it I want it its mine. Plain and simple. You may want to find articles on baby development and give them to her as another subtle hint. Cailen is the same way. They all grab in his room. And very few babies cuddle unless they are tired. This is the wonderful age of discovery and exploration. Who wants to be held? Cailen won't even stop for a picture. And that's a good thing. That is part of healthy and normal development!

Message edited 2/7/2008 11:31:56 AM.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

Children do act differently in daycare than they do at home - I've seen it first hand with my kids.

That being said, the teacher is whacked if she thinks a 9 month old wants to "share" toys.

The fact that your son remembers what he wants to do & isn't as redirectable as others using distraction technique tells me he has a better memory & is surely a genius.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

I think he is totally normal and that is good that he goes after what he wants. MY DS is the same exact way. He is extremely defiant already. As long as they are not holding him back in any way then it should be fine.

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

Re: Another comment by day care teacher...

Honestly, I would be HAPPY with the fact that my child knows what he wants and its obvious that you have a very smart little man!

I would be peeved if she said anything like that to me..