Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

We went to BBB yesterday to check things out. DH got bored and wanted to leave and I ended up yelling at him that he "made me get pregnant" and that we had to do this. Luckily, a nice lady witnessed the mental breakdown and intervened to give her 2 cents on strollers.

When I see all that stuff, I just see massive amounts of clutter. I can't even stand it. I was watching moms try to maneuver strollers throughout the store and I was just thinking that I could not believe that is going to be me...and not in a good way..in a self-pity type of way. Screaming kids were just magnified ten-fold. All I could think was that some day that is going to be my kid and I'm going to be the one getting looks from people. I was totally freaking out.

I just started to think that this is not for me. I'm so far from kid-friendly. I thought that when I got pg, something in me would change but clearly I haven't. I hear my friends worry about safety rating, allergies, etc. and all I worry about is how I'm going to meet my billable hours. I feel so terrible for even thinking these things. My mom is a great mom so I just hope that I somehow had to inherit that quality and I will change when the baby comes.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

I am a related post, and now I am one of those annoying obnoxious mommies that is so in love with her DD that people probably puke a little when they talk to me.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

Honestly, I think you will find yourself surprisingly shocked with LO arrives.

It really is like this thing that just "clicks".

Although I will say, other peoples kids still annoy me sometimes

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

First....


Don't be so hard on yourself. There is no such thing as the "right" way to be a mom. Everyone will parent differently and the emotions/feelings are not the same for everyone.

You might not feel it right now, heck you might not feel it for a little awhile after your child is born, but you will find your own way to "mother" and it doesn't have to be some perfect way.

Just because you have more of a practical idea of things vs. the emotional aspect, doesn't mean you don't have the "mommy gene". I think it's okay to feel that way and I find myself thinking like that too sometimes.

You seem more like an analytical type by your post, so it's natural to examine all the angles like that vs. looking at it in a emotional/maternal way. So don't feel bad!! You'll get the hang of it eventually and the feelings will come in their own way for you.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

i feel guilty for worrying about the same thing re: billable hours. you're not alone!

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

i went to BBB yesterday to get a baby shower gift and i had a mini meltdown myself. That place can make you feel clueless!!! Hang in there. Do you know someone that already has a baby that you can take for advice? I plan on taking my good friend who has 2 kids, so she can break it down in simple terms the differences of everything.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

I feel like that sometimes too. I work with kids everyday and think how can I do this and I also thought I will get pg and be all mommy like and am hoping it comes. i am careful with myself and whats best for baby now, but am scared as helll for the baby to come out. I am really nervous and worried about how life will be. I am sure we will be ok and I have been told that its different with your own.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

This was my biggest fear while pregnant. Not if the baby is healthy, or should I not eat this or that..
I was worried that I 'd be lacking that maternal instinct and just throw in the towel immediately.

It's all I worried about on a daily basis. I still do.
I didnt believe everyone when they said it will just come naturally, but it really did.

The hardest part for me is not going to work. Eventhough I like to be the one caring for my baby when she is this young, I HATE not going to work, and I dont even love my job. I just miss my routine.
Knowing I cant take DD out to public places for several weeks is just killing me.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

Posted by sunflowerjesss

Honestly, I think you will find yourself surprisingly shocked with LO arrives.

It really is like this thing that just "clicks".

Although I will say, other peoples kids still annoy me sometimes

Message edited 3/14/2011 2:10:52 PM.

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

Thanks ladies

This makes me feel better. I was wide awake last night fretting over this whole thing.

I've since emailed my newer mom friends and asked them to tell me their top 5 must haves to help me out. So far, it's been helpful!

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

Don't be so hard on yourself -
Not everyone LIVES to be a mother and DREAMS about the day they will have a baby - I know I never did - and I thought I was missing the gene too -
I didn't (don't) LOVE being pregnant, I wasn't SOOOOOOOOOOO excited - etc etc.


But it's different now. -
Once he was born, and he was here , and he was a REAL, alive, in my arms person - and he needed ME - I was excited to meet him, excited to be his Mom, excited to watch him grow and learn things - I wanted to know what his little voice was going to sound like and what his personality was going to become -

I am still myself - I still have zero patience for BS - but I have patience for HIM - You'll see, it's just different.
It's not like flipping an immediate switch, for me it was a gradual thing here and there .........I just fall more and more in love w/ him every single day -

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

Motherhood does not come easy to me at all. DH says all the time I'm nuts b/c I make it look so natural.

I've always been independent, career oriented, traveled, all about going out or away with friends, etc. That's why DH and I are the perfect match. We're both laid back, enjoy each other and we know we need our girl time or guy time as well.

Having DS did change everything. It was hard b/c I kept thinking my life will change. It has, but for the better. Didn't happen over night. Heck, first few months I'm like... what is this and why does it cry?!
Ok, kidding on that part. Anyway, I finally figured it out and was able to juggle work, being a wife and mom. DS is a toddler now and when he says "mommy" my heart melts. I'm still no Mother Theresa, but I feel like I should show DS all the love that my parent's shown me. DH has a wonderful family as well and we are a great couple. We make DS apart of our lives and not make our lives around him.
He amazes me every day.
Believe me... it's not easy, but you'll love it

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?

I had to go back and forth to BRU a few times to figure out what I like. I was just so overwhelmed. And of course I was ready to lose it over kids that were going insane whenever we were there.

Hang in there, it will all come in time!! Don't be so hard on yourself!

Re: Am I the only one missing the Mommy gene?