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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Am I the only one?
I have heard from so many people TTC how excited they are and looking forward to everything that a baby brings. I see posts on here of people who want nothing more to have a baby... Am I the only one who is scared out of their minds that it's "go time?" I don't know what to feel and am afraid me being scared, is making me confused. Am I not ready? Will we be able to afford a child? Will I like this child? Am I ready for my entire world to change??? I am really scared and I just don't know if this is normal or not?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
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Posted 1/19/12 11:11 AM  |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Am I the only one?
THIS IS ME EXACTLY! I'm so glad you posted this because I was starting to feel really guilty. I'm petrified. I'm worried about so many rational and irrational things. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right decision, but I almost actually think that all the worrying is almost a good thing. I think parents worry all the time. If I didn't care, then I would think that I wasn't ready but the fact that I am thinking, and hoping and "planning" makes me feel like we can really make it work.
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| Posted 1/19/12 11:40 AM |
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by IveGotAFeeling
THIS IS ME EXACTLY! I'm so glad you posted this because I was starting to feel really guilty. I'm petrified. I'm worried about so many rational and irrational things. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right decision, but I almost actually think that all the worrying is almost a good thing. I think parents worry all the time. If I didn't care, then I would think that I wasn't ready but the fact that I am thinking, and hoping and "planning" makes me feel like we can really make it work.
Oh thank goodness for your response. I know that there are things I get excited about when I think of the journey to parenthood. Thinking of how to tell our friends and family, decorating the nursery, meeting our baby for the first time, the endless hugs that I will get from my child and to my child... The look on the child's face that they can only give to their parents. These are all things that excite me. But being scared makes me question am I ready and I hate it !!!
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| Posted 1/19/12 11:55 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Am I the only one?
You're not the only one.
As badly as I want a baby, I'm scared to death of what it means. But to me all the worry is normal.
I think about finances, about what it will do to DH and I as a couple, my weird work schedule, my bouts of insomnia and moodiness because of it...
I KNOW in my heart that a child will turn my life upside down and I'm gonna LOVE that new life. 
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:02 PM |
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readyornot2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 712 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Am I the only one?
I'm having number 2 and I'm scared! 
I think if you're in complete bliss then you aren't in complete reality or just choosing to focus on the countless amazing things that come with parenthood and ignore the other stuff.
There are some scary things. But we get through them. It's natural to be scared but don't let it overshadow the awesomeness that is being a mom. 
This may sound a little messed up but in those moments, I have thought to myself on occasion, "If so-and-so can do it, then I can certainly do it!"
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:45 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
You're not the only one.
As badly as I want a baby, I'm scared to death of what it means. But to me all the worry is normal.
I think about finances, about what it will do to DH and I as a couple, my weird work schedule, my bouts of insomnia and moodiness because of it...
I KNOW in my heart that a child will turn my life upside down and I'm gonna LOVE that new life.
See I don't know that I'm gonna LOVE that new life at first. I think its going to be a huge adjustment for the both of us.
More so than myself though, I worry that my DH is ready. He's not good with change in his life and I know he'll be a good father but he's more of a worrier than I am and I'm very nervous of how it may change him and our relationship. It may bring us closer together but with all the crazy mood swings pregnant women have and sleepless nights and all the other stuff it may, and most likely will change how we relate to each other. I hear from all of my mommy friends that having a child is probably the biggest test of a relationship.
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:45 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by readyornot2
This may sound a little messed up but in those moments, I have thought to myself on occasion, "If so-and-so can do it, then I can certainly do it!"
I think this ALL THE TIME! THANK YOU!!! I think about my parents and how young and scared they were when I was born and then I think- if they made it raising a (somewhat) well adjusted child, then we should be solid 
Edited because I can't spell
Message edited 1/19/2012 12:47:59 PM.
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:47 PM |
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readyornot2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 712 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by IveGotAFeeling
More so than myself though, I worry that my DH is ready. He's not good with change in his life and I know he'll be a good father but he's more of a worrier than I am and I'm very nervous of how it may change him and our relationship. It may bring us closer together but with all the crazy mood swings pregnant women have and sleepless nights and all the other stuff it may, and most likely will change how we relate to each other. I hear from all of my mommy friends that having a child is probably the biggest test of a relationship.
It's true, but as much as it tested us, it brought us closer for sure. We were raised completely differently and sometimes those differences in beliefs and experiences is an issue BUT you have no choice but to work it out. The thing is, you know at the end of the day that you both want what is best for your child so try to remember that in those moments.
My DH totally surprised me when I got PG. He is not the uber supposrtive and comapassionate type but he was the best husband to me when I was PG even though I know deep down he was scared s**tless!!!! he may just surprise you
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:50 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by readyornot2
Posted by IveGotAFeeling
More so than myself though, I worry that my DH is ready. He's not good with change in his life and I know he'll be a good father but he's more of a worrier than I am and I'm very nervous of how it may change him and our relationship. It may bring us closer together but with all the crazy mood swings pregnant women have and sleepless nights and all the other stuff it may, and most likely will change how we relate to each other. I hear from all of my mommy friends that having a child is probably the biggest test of a relationship.
It's true, but as much as it tested us, it brought us closer for sure. We were raised completely differently and sometimes those differences in beliefs and experiences is an issue BUT you have no choice but to work it out. The thing is, you know at the end of the day that you both want what is best for your child so try to remember that in those moments.
My DH totally surprised me when I got PG. He is not the uber supposrtive and comapassionate type but he was the best husband to me when I was PG even though I know deep down he was scared s**tless!!!! he may just surprise you
I hope so. I test Saturday morning
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:52 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by IveGotAFeeling
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
You're not the only one.
As badly as I want a baby, I'm scared to death of what it means. But to me all the worry is normal.
I think about finances, about what it will do to DH and I as a couple, my weird work schedule, my bouts of insomnia and moodiness because of it...
I KNOW in my heart that a child will turn my life upside down and I'm gonna LOVE that new life.
See I don't know that I'm gonna LOVE that new life at first. I think its going to be a huge adjustment for the both of us.
More so than myself though, I worry that my DH is ready. He's not good with change in his life and I know he'll be a good father but he's more of a worrier than I am and I'm very nervous of how it may change him and our relationship. It may bring us closer together but with all the crazy mood swings pregnant women have and sleepless nights and all the other stuff it may, and most likely will change how we relate to each other. I hear from all of my mommy friends that having a child is probably the biggest test of a relationship.
of course it will be a huge adjustment.
Maybe think about the big changes you have gone through in your life and how you felt before them?
Were there any other big challenges that you thought to yourself "How the H am I gonna do this?" But yet you made it through?
Use previous experiences that can maybe give you a better sense of how you adjust to things - maybe this will help?
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| Posted 1/19/12 12:54 PM |
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IveGotAFeeling
Always look on the bright side
Member since 1/12 2286 total posts
Name:
of life!
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
of course it will be a huge adjustment.
Maybe think about the big changes you have gone through in your life and how you felt before them?
Were there any other big challenges that you thought to yourself "How the H am I gonna do this?" But yet you made it through?
Use previous experiences that can maybe give you a better sense of how you adjust to things - maybe this will help?
Honestly the only thing I can think of is coping with death.
I know when we first got married I went into it thinking it would be a cake walk since we were together so long and it was a HUGE adjustment for us. I just hope we don't have the same "learning curve" if and when we become parents
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| Posted 1/19/12 1:01 PM |
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by readyornot2
I'm having number 2 and I'm scared!
I think if you're in complete bliss then you aren't in complete reality or just choosing to focus on the countless amazing things that come with parenthood and ignore the other stuff.
There are some scary things. But we get through them. It's natural to be scared but don't let it overshadow the awesomeness that is being a mom.
This may sound a little messed up but in those moments, I have thought to myself on occasion, "If so-and-so can do it, then I can certainly do it!"
Wow this really makes me feel better. I don't know what it is, but this whole being scared really is for the birds. I do say "if so and so can do.." too. The only aspect I am not scared over is how DH will be to me and to our child. That alone makes me want to feel ok. I hate my brain ! 
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| Posted 1/19/12 3:21 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
totally normal! I can't imagine anyone bringing a child into the world without at least somewhat worrying about all those things. It took me years to even feel ready to ttc, and now that we are trying, I'm still nervous, but I've heard that once you have your own  your natural maternal instinct and love will kick in. Not saying it won't be hard, but it will all be worth it!
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| Posted 1/19/12 3:24 PM |
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by LiveItUp
totally normal! I can't imagine anyone bringing a child into the world without at least somewhat worrying about all those things. It took me years to even feel ready to ttc, and now that we are trying, I'm still nervous, but I've heard that once you have your own your natural maternal instinct and love will kick in. Not saying it won't be hard, but it will all be worth it!
I am so glad I posted because any one that I have asked told me that I am nuts and I need to "calm down" and "stop stressing"... It's really annoying. I know myself best and I plan everything out, this is something I can not "plan" so it scares the pants off of me... Thanks for all the responses everyone !
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| Posted 1/19/12 4:17 PM |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
That is me too!! Especially at the beginning. I was so nervous about my body changing; finances; it not just being DH & our 2 dogs; not being able to travel as much as we like. But the fear is getting smaller and smaller each month that passes so i'm sure once the time comes you'll be ok
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| Posted 1/19/12 5:46 PM |
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shellbebaby
So In Love!
Member since 8/11 1487 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Am I the only one?
I am scared and excited at the same time. I have NO experience with babies, I have changed one diaper. I don't want our lives to change completely. I am scared of the financial burdens. But on the other hand I know I am ready for a family, I know I want one with DH and i know I don't want to start a family to late in life.
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| Posted 1/19/12 8:40 PM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1801 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
It's totally normal. I feel the same way. I don't worry too much about things after the baby is here (it will always work itself out)... it's more about being preg, doc appts, hospital stay, what ppl at work will think, etc. It's sounds silly, but it makes me so nervous.
Good luck and when it does happen everything will fall into place 
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| Posted 1/20/12 7:37 PM |
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LondonGirl
LIF Infant
Member since 1/12 243 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
Posted by readyornot2
I'm having number 2 and I'm scared!
I think if you're in complete bliss then you aren't in complete reality or just choosing to focus on the countless amazing things that come with parenthood and ignore the other stuff.
There are some scary things. But we get through them. It's natural to be scared but don't let it overshadow the awesomeness that is being a mom.
Yes! Exactly.
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| Posted 1/20/12 9:17 PM |
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ndblovah
Be happy always
Member since 1/07 1880 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
Yep still sared and losing a very large client yesterday makes me more scared. My job and income are so unpredictible theses days it makes me terrified to bring a child into this world. The next few days would be the true "go time" and I am so unsure what to do.... planning to TTC really messes with your brain considering all the years I've made sure not to get preggers..Never even thought I'd feel this way, it's very strange. Wish I could just turn my brain off.
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| Posted 1/21/12 1:38 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I the only one?
This is me exactly!!!!!!!!!! How do you know you are ready??? Will I ever be ready?? I am scared of the unknown, money, child care..... But nevertheless we are trying and we are super excited. I'm a worrier by nature. I know that fear will.just change but not dissipate.
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| Posted 1/21/12 9:39 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Am I the only one?
One word....Terrified! But all of us on here have our dh's. We are not doing it on our own. Don't know how single parents do it.
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| Posted 1/22/12 4:05 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Am I the only one?
I am very nervous (that is an understatement)! We need to undergo IVF, which I think makes it even worse. If we just naturally got pregnant, it would like okay - ready or not - we are having a baby. With IVF, you need to make that CD 3 appointment to get the ball rolling. It is very overwhelming. I like our life now, which makes me nervous to have child because I know it will change things. We both want a DC so we are going to have to go through with IVF eventually....
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| Posted 1/22/12 8:23 PM |
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