am i am giant aszzzhole?

i think i am.

i am 23 weeks tomorrow and thought i should be ordering a crib/ and bassinet soon bc it takes a while to come sometimes.

dh said maybe we should register for those things in case someone wants to buy it for us.

i have NO idea when i am having a shower bc i have no mom and it would be dh's mom who would be giving one but i feel beyond weird asking and dh thinks i should talk to her if i have questions. ughsss i feel very uncomfortable about this.

i would think we would want to have a crib and basinet picked and set up so i can pick sheets etc for the baby.

he thinks i am rushing things by ordering soon.

i feel very lost.

what did you do? and when would you want a shower if you had a choice?

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I think if I were in your shoes I would try to get DH to talk to mil to get an idea of her plans. If she's planning to throw the shower, then you can maybe talk more openly with her about it. For example, you'd need to let her know where you're registered, who to invite from your friends and family, etc.

In terms of a crib and bassinet, some people register for them and others don't. I'm thinking most people don't with the crib though. We plan to order ours as late as possible since I've heard it comes fast and we have no where to store it at the moment. If I were you, I would start looking around and then talk to the stores about how long things take to come in and how long they're willing to hold them for you. As for sheets, I think the sizer are pretty standard so you don't have to know the specific crib before you register.

As for your last question, it seems most showers are around 30-32 weeks although mine is later.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

Thank you. Dh won't talk to his mom again bc he thinks she might be trying to suprise me. But I work saturdays and sundays so don't know how that could be. I would need to take a day off. Plus I told dh most peiople have showers around 32 weeks and he said uh I don't know. ( His grandma isn't coming to town til april and for me that would seem so late at 36 weeks). He just keeps saying "talk to my mom if u want" and now we are fighting cause he doesn't getr how weird this is for me

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I personally would never register for furniture. I knew that my MIL wanted to chip in for a piece and my mother was buying the rest from the beginning.

If I didn't know that I would just order it myself.

My shower was at 32 weeks and IMO that was perfect. I still had enough energy to go through everything, put it all away, do the returns. Any later and you get really uncomfortable.

Message edited 1/4/2012 6:13:39 PM.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I hear you on the whole mom thing.

IMO, I would register regardless of whether or not you will be having a shower. Family/friends will probably be looking for one so they can buy a gift when your LO arrives. Plus, I think you get a completion discount, which is a big plus.

In my situation (since I don't have a mom either) DH told MIL that we were thrwing the party together, and she insisted on throwing it. We haven't made a decision yet on if I will even have one, but we both don't want MIL to pay for it. We will probably just pay for it ourselves and not make a big stink about who is "throwing" the party.

In terms of furniture, some people register for cribs and dresses and some don't. It's a personal choice. Bassinets and pack and plays are inexpensive enough to regiter for, so if anything register for those so your LO has somewhere to sleep the first few months.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I wouldn't stress about it too much. If they want to try to surprise you, then let them! They obviously know your schedule so hopefully they're making the arrangements to work around that.

I know with my bridal shower, DH was so stressed about keeping up his end of the arrangement! Even after I found out he was freaked out about not letting my mom know I knew. This time around, he's so relived that it's not a surprise.

As for when it is, mine is not till my 35th week. While that freaks me out a little and I know I'll probably be pretty uncomfortable by then, it's what works best for other reasons.

Just get your registry set up and eventually pick out an outfit to wear and let DH and MIL worry about the rest! If they need something from you I'm sure they'll let you know.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

Personally I did not register for furniture, because I was undecided what I wanted. I did have a shower, but my son was born 11 weeks early and was already here when the shower took place. The day he was discharged from the hospital, we went to BRU on the way to pick him up and bought a bassinet.
He is now almost 4 months old (home since October 29th) and I still have not ordered his crib. I am getting one from JCPenney. We moved Dec 1 to a bigger apartment and his room just is not ready yet. He still sleeps in the bassinet in our room and we also have a pack n play from the shower.
It all depends upon your comfort level.

As for your MIL throwing you a shower, I was on the fence about even having a shower. I just sort of don't believe in them. I told my mother that I did not want one and she planned one anyway. Hubby offered to help her out with the costs and so did my best friend and cousin. Hubby's best friend allowed the use of his house for the party. It was just a few of our closest friends, family and coworkers. All of these people also gave us gifts when our son was born. For Christmas this year, people asked what they should get our son and I requested that they give us giftcards for JCP or BRU. He has everything he needs right now, except a crib and I have no place to store the things he will need in the future. This allows me to get things as he needs them. It was a great option.

Since I did not want a shower, I was never expecting one. After my son was born, my best friend mentioned to me that a shower was in the works and asked if due to the circumstances I wanted it to be cancelled. I thought about it and said no. I was so consumed spending all my time in the NICU that I thought it would be nice to spend a day with the people who loved him as much as I did. And it really turned out to be a nice day. I was able to share pictures of him and when I went to the NICU the next day, I told him all about how much people loved him and bought such nice things for him and how our house looked like a babies r us outlet.

Message edited 1/4/2012 6:33:52 PM.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I found a great deal on furniture nad jumped on it. I was around the same as you. I didnt put it on the reg because i didnt think people would buy it for us and i also did not know when my shower was. Luckily i did not buy the basinette bc i did get one.
Buy what u want and put the rest on your registry. There is no guarantee u will get everything on ur registry anyway.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I personally wouldn't register for furniture. My in-laws bought us our Furniture, but I we had all intentions on buying it ourselves. It's too expensive to expect anyone coming the the shower to buy.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I personally did not register for furniture for my DS ~ My mil let me know she wanted to buy the crib but I didn't order until a month or two before I was due (since I would put the baby in a bassinet in the beginning) I would have your hubby talk to his mom (I am like you and would feel weird asking about a shower)

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

I did not register for furniture for either. Both times we got furniture from BBB. With DD the furniture was in stock, so we had it delievered when we were ready for it. This time around, what we want is a special order, so we have to wait almost 20 weeks for the delievery. But don't stress over it. It isn't the biggest deal.

Re: am i am giant aszzzhole?

Of all the showers I've been to, I don't think I've ever seen furniture on the registry.

That said, I do know of a number of people whose parents or in laws bought the crib or even the entire furniture set for the baby. Even though it was a baby/shower gift, it wasn't actually given at the shower, but rather they told the mom/dad to be that they would be purchasing it for them.

We bought DS' crib very early. I found a great deal at JC Penney, plus free shipping and we pulled the trigger. Little did I know it would arrive one week later (I thought it would take MUCH longer haha). So we had the box in our home for a few months. Well DS was born 2 months early, so it turned out to be great that we had the crib, but that said, he didn't actually SLEEP in the crib til he was like 3 months old.

With this baby, I'm not really in any rush to get her crib knowing what I know. So I don't think you need to order right away. MAYBE they want to get you the crib/furniture. Even if they don't you can always order it later.