Am I alone what do you do?

Am I alone feeling this way. I just went back to work and I feel like I never have time to do anything let alone me time. This morning I feel like I am having an anxiety attack cause while I'm taking care of the 2 kids DH went for a2hr bike ride and then did errands then I want to go do things and he asks me to take one of the kids..

I just ran out to go do something, anything out of the house. But I really have chest pains over being stuck in the house.
Then I feel like a bad mommy for not taking one of them.
I never felt like this before and I hate that I was mad he got his alone time and not me.

Am I alone what do you do?

You are not alone. I once cried because DH was "busy" doing nonessential things around the house and all I wanted to do was go out of the house ALONE for 15 minutes to get my eyebrows done. Needless to say, now my DH realizes that I need time to myself to keep my sanity. I suggest talking to your DH about it - sometimes I think they are oblivious!!

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

Yes it's awful I totally understand. My husband def has more free time than me even though he doesn't realize or admit it. Lots of fighting.

I take time off work, an hour here and there and don't tell family. Are you able to do that at work? I also take my lunch break more now that I have kids where before I used to work through always


They say it gets easier

How old are your kids?

Am I alone what do you do?

I think you need to have a serious discussion with your husband. You need time too!

Am I alone what do you do?

Is it possible for you each to get one morning per weekend "off" (He gets Sat, you get Sun) to sleep in, run errands, get a pedicure, take a walk, take a bath, have coffee at Starbucks?
Regardless of FTWM, SAHM, etc we all need time to ourselves. Even an hour or 2 once a week can really recharge you!!
If he doesn't agree, wake up early one Saturday, leave a note, and go out for an hour or so of "me" time!!

Am I alone what do you do?

My DH has zero concept as to why I would EVER want to spend time away from DS. Seriously does not get it.

Finally I just started doing it without telling him first. I still don't get a lot of "me" time but I get a little more than I used to. Today I'm going with my mom to lunch and leaving them together. Im hoping the house is still standing when I get back lol

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

Honestly I find that what works is if I just take the time. That's what my husband does. Just tell him you need to do whatever and go do it. I got a haircut yesterday but afterwards I went for a pedicure. I felt slightly guilty but my husband never has a problem just doing all the little things he has to do. He doesn't ask me if its ok if he does something without the kids. I think it's completely normal. Just make sure you take the time for yourself. Be honest with your husband. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. It will get better. You just need to find the right balance. Why did he want you to take one of the kids btw? Is he nervous about taking care of both? If that's the case, the sooner he starts doing that the better. I find sometimes if you let it go too long it sometimes seems more scary with time. Good luck! We have all been there before.

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

This is me!

DH gets so much 'me time' it causes so many fights because I have such resentment.

I've tried to get him to step up to the plate with watching the kids so I can go and do something for myself but he ends up calling me asking me where I am.

This just adds to me having to rush out of where I am to get home because the kids are crying and he has no patience for them like that.

I do what a pp stated - I take vacation days and don't tell my family. I spend the day catching up on errands that I can't get done on the weekends, getting my haircut etc.

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

We were like this at a point, but I told him I need my own time too. Like right now, I made him take DD to park and food shopping, just so I can drink my coffee in peace and just be. It's not fair when you never get a moment to yourself, don't feel bad.

Also, I agree with PP. I take one day off during the week per month. DD goes to daycare, DH is at work. I use that day to do as I please and I love it.

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

i have a 5 1/2 month old and a 2yr old. DH was getting ready for a BBQ we were having and being outside was too much for him to have both. He doesnt get it but he when I ask for time he says OK but with a little joke like "Go ahead, you never want to spend time with the kids" part of me wants to pinch him cause i dont know if its a joke or not. I felt better when I got home but I did sit in the parking lot for a few more minutes than usual. I decided that even if its one day for an hour i need something. Thanks ladies for the advice

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

Sorry you are going through this, I completely understand.

I use to have on full force panic attacks over caring for two young kids. While I truly love them, it can be very overwhelming caring for two virtually helpless individuals.

After they went to bed and DH was home, I would go out. Walk around Target, Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, anywhere.

Now, at 17 months and 4.5 years, it is getting "better."

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

I get so " I need to have alone time." And DH agrees and I go do something and feel guilty if the kids don't have something fun to do.

For me I try to balance things. I work 3 days a week but the other 4 days I spend practically every waking and sometimes sleeping moment with them. The funny thing is .... The more time I spend with them the more I feel guilty about not being with them. I tend to do things at or after bed time or nap time.

Bottom line... You are not alone. You feel guilty for wanting time to yourself and yet if you don't have time to yourself you aren't as patient as you want to be.

Welcome to mother's guilt!!!

Am I alone what do you do?

I totally get it. It's an on going discussion between DH and I. He "disappears" downstairs to work and am running like a lunatic.

He's starting to get it but I have a feeling it's only going to get worse when number 2 arrives this week!

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

When I was on maternity leave with my first my husband walked through the door from work with the mail in his hand. I saw red!! How dare he? All I wanted to do was walk to the mailbox without a kid in tow. I was looking forward to those 2 minutes all day.

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

Posted by GraciesMom

When I was on maternity leave with my first my husband walked through the door from work with the mail in his hand. I saw red!! How dare he? All I wanted to do was walk to the mailbox without a kid in tow. I was looking forward to those 2 minutes all day.

Re: Am I alone what do you do?

I am a FTWM and honestly I have tons of alone time. I feel absolutely no guilt about it. Tuesday nights I got to WW meetings, so that counts as one of my alone times

I refuse to go food shopping or really any other stores with my DC without my DH with me (though recently I will take 3.5 DD with me to run some errands once in a while now). He has a choice either come with me or stay home or go by himself (which I don't encourage cause I hate when he food shops )

I go out with friends for dinner, concerts, etc. Not all the time but when someone actually makes plans to do it I go.

I get my nails done every 2-3 weeks.

Granted when I go out for WW and with my friends DC are either in bed by then or about to be in bed which DH does every night anyway so those nights DH really isn't doing much with the kids they are in bed and he is free to do what he wants around the house.

I suggest you just tell him you are going and that's it

Am I alone what do you do?

You are NOT alone
I posted not too long ago that I want time alone without the hubby and kid. Not that I don't love them to death but I want to be ME for a freaking moment or two. I am going to have to do that soon. It makes me a better mom honestly.

So in two weeks I am in a class for 3days. Of which I stay at the hotel for in my own darned town! 3 days away from both of them. No harm, no foul. I come back better.

I think I need a few days alone at least once every 6months or so. I look forward to it.