Along the lines of defeated..

Not only do I feel defeated but I feel like my kids have sucked the life out of me. I can't really explain it but I don't feel like myself. I dont even remember the last time I did something for myself to make myself feel good. It's always rush rush, get them ready in the morning, feed them, change them. It just never ends! I am constantly looking for adult conversation and will talk to random people just so I can talk adult stuff which is why I love chatting on these boards about fashion, entertainment, etc. I am always making play dates so I can talk to other mommies and get out whenever I can! anyone else feel like this? Maybe it's also my hormones since I gave birth only 5 months ago. Don't know but I am very overwhelmed!

Message edited 7/19/2012 9:10:53 AM.

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

I feel like this with my 2 and 3 yo boys. They are so demanding, loud, whiny and rambunctious. I feel like I can't deal sometimes. I don't even like playdates because I feel like I don't get to chat with the other moms anyway. I kind of can't wait for summer to be over so at least my older one goes to school part time. If I had the money they would be in full day school

I feel your pain

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

I also like to go out for "adult" conversation, but find no matter what, people always end up chatting about the baby!! What she eats, how she sleeps, the color of her poop...you name it!!!!
It's sad, I always imagined myself with 3 kids but now I think I'm one and done...

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

Having a baby is life changing. There is nothing wrong with the way you're feeling. We need adult conversation and time for ourselves. We do not cease to exist as individuals because we have children.

I'm a FTWM but work from home 2x's a week. Now that DH and the boys are home for the summer I want to come into the office everyday. When they're there and I'm there everything suffers even more than usual. I feel like I'm less of a mom, wife and worker.

Along the lines of defeated..

I feel the exact same way. I joined a gym in january and that has helped a lot. Sometimes it's a full week in between times I get there but when I'm there it's one of the few times I feel like "me."

In the fall my DS is going to preschool three days a week and DD is going 2 days. I feel a little guilty about how excited I am.

Hang in there!

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

I feel this way some days! My kids are almost 4 and 2.5 and they are a handful - so loud and whiny and demanding sometimes that I want to scream. Being home with them is not what I thought it would be I don't even like to do playdates because I have to be on top of my 2.5 year old, she's nuts! I feel guilty like you Katie, but I am SO excited that my DS is going to school full time in September, and I will only have one to handle all day! I plan on putting DD in school part time next year as well if she needs it, they have become way too dependent on me since I stopped working.

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

This is COMPLETELY normal!! Just because we have children doesn't mean we stop being who we were. It just changes. Juggling kids and life are hard! It does get better as the baby gets older and you're able to get into more of a routine. IN the meantime, see if you can get out by yourself every now and then! I know it's not easy, but you need and deserve some alone time or friend time.

Along the lines of defeated..

Thanks for your responses! Just needed to vent!

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

This may sound ridiculous, but this is one of the reasons we kept our part time nanny...so I would have the company of another adult around some days. Granted with two little ones she is a HUGE help! And if we didn't keep her we'd have to find a new nanny after my maternity leave and we didn't want to lose her. I was never really "close" with her, but now I look forward to her coming in the morning, not so much to help, but to have an adult to chat with during the day! This is my damn expensive solution to the mommy "rut". lol.

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

This is completely understandable- especially since you have a newborn. It takes over your whole life.

I think it will get easier to get "yourself" back more as they get older and more independent (dressing themselves, no diapers, feed themselves, etc).

I make sure I go to the gym at least twice a week, that helps me keep my sanity. Also, once a month I go out with friends, and we try to keep the kids out of our conversations! It definitely helps to have an outlet.

You are not alone!

Re: Along the lines of defeated..

Yes I totally feel this way. I truthfully feel like all I am is a mom. I also feel like I shouldn't complain because i went through IF treatments to get pregnant both times. I never do anything for myself and haven't purchaed any new clothes besides a few maternity things in almost 2 years. I have a couple hundred dollars in gift cards to Macy's and I just can't get motivated enough to go shopping for myself. Dh yelled at me the other day because I ordered the girls clothes online with my gift cards. I just lost who I am. I have no style. My whole world is being a mom. I do crave alone time and adult conversation. I feel like a dog waiting for its master to come home some nights. I can't wait to talk to dh at night and I love hearing all about his day even about his boring commute just to feel like I'm connected to the outside world. But I really do love being with my girls. Even though I miss my old life sometimes.

Along the lines of defeated..

You need to make time for yourself. I tell DH I am going to get my nails done. He has no problem giving me my time.

Re: Along the lines of defeated..