almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

So I have a combo going on that is wreaking havoc on my household. Please tell me if anyone else is going through this????!!!! Please offer some advice. Please try to read my long post. Giving some background info.

2 weeks ago dd got sick. Reg cold, but really disrupted her sleep more than any other cold has. Waking in the middle of the night with congestion and unable to go back to sleep. Once the cold passed after a few days she was left with a cough. Then that would wake her and leave her restless again.
Now were on week 3 of very broken sleep. She wakes up and cant fall back to sleep for hours. Some nights its waking up at 1030 and staying up till 1 and not happily. Most nights its waking at 4 and staying up until 5 or 6. It doesnt matter if i get in bed with her, sit in her room. She wont sleep. And she tells me 100 reasons why she cant sleep but eventually she just says i dont know. None of them make much sense it feels more like shes making things up (ie my head hurts. What hurts? My head, it itches) i had a bad dream (says this during the day when shes not sleeping) i heard a truck. BUT the big thing is she wont let me leave her room. Sometimes sitting in the rocking chair is enough others its i have to get in bed with her. If i tell her no she sleeps in her room and mommy sleeps in hers she gets so hysterical and screams and carries on. My dh gets up at 5-530 for work so that doesnt work in our house. Hes been a wreck at work too. Were both exhausted.
The only time she sttn is after a horrible night of no sleep shes so exhausted.

All i know is i cant do this anymore. Im literally at my wits end. Im exhausted. I cant concentrate during the day, i work from home mostly luckily but still find my work is lacking lately, i feel lazy, im so tired at night ive barely kept up with housework... i barely feel like cooking... my body just hurts and i have headache everyday. not to mention i wind up being in a bad mood or mostly impatient. With her during the day. Cause the 2nd piece of this is her behavior is atrocious. And more important im an adult who can articulate all the ways lack of sleep is impacting me i cant imagine what its doing to her.

And shes clinging to me again after we just broke out of it. Separation anxiety times 1000 now is back.

Her behavior has been declining as well. Any little thing will set her off into an emotional tirade like ive never seen. Just this past weekend we had to leave an outing with our friends because she was so out of control. She went ballistic. Hysterical crying. Wouldnt walk. Wouldnt go on any rides. Wouldnt leave my side. Wouldnt play with her friends. Wouldnt let her father near her.
She answer back. She will tell me she does t want to go to Go to do any of the things she loves, she throws things, slams doors, cries and then once she calms down its like it never happened.

HELP!!!! I just want my dd back. She used to sleep consistently 12 hours every night. I love her to death but its just not enjoyable with her lately. I dread night time. I cant deal during the day. Its just been a nightmare.

Message edited 10/21/2015 5:24:25 AM.

Re: almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

This has been my DS since he turned 4 a week ago. Not sure if its developmental, or illness related. He too has a cold and just started antibiotics for an ear infection, for the first time.

almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

Dd's sleep has gotten bad recently at 3.5. She got into the habit of coming into our room when she wakes up. We already have our lo in there most of the night so everyone would end up woken up and dh would just go to the couch. It was bad. I tried a sticker chart. Told her if she stayed in her bed all the way to morning she'd get a Hershey kiss as soon as she got up and a sticker. Seven stickers in a row she would get a prize she had picked out. I figured immediate reward I could phase out and the prize to get her into the habit long term. She did great, one mess up after five nights then did 7 nights straight and got her prize. The very next night she was up! I went back to the stickers but I want as consistent and she's been better but not perfect. Yesterday we got one of those clocks that tells her if it's okay to get up or not and she loves it. We'll see if it lasts though. I figured it was a good time worth the clocks changing and it being dark some mornings confuses her. I now give her just a mini m&m for staying in bed all night.

I would think the lack of sleep is contributing to her behavior a lot. Hopefully if you get that under control she'll improve some.

almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

My nephew is like this when he is tired. So my guess is her behavior is directly related to the lack of sleep.

If my Ds can't sleep in the middle of the night I let him watch a movie. Most times he is asleep in 15 -20 mins if I do that rather than sitting in the dark and having him toss and turn and drive me nuts.

Re: almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

DD has been having nightmares since 3.5
They really are bad (I can hear her crying out in her sleep).
Nothing one can do... I just wait out all phases!

almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

Her behavior is due to lack of sleep and she is in a horrendous cycle right now.

I understand that your husband has to get up early, but you cannot sit in her room - you are just giving in to her behavior. You need to tell her she doesn't have to sleep, but she can read her books or have some stuffed animals to talk to, but you cannot stay with her bc it is bedtime. Eventually she'll go back to sleep. Let her cry if she has to, but stick to "Mommy sleeps in her room and you sleep in your room." I've done the same thing with my son as well, so I understand what you are going through. You're all not sleeping now anyway, so a couple more nights and she'll get it. Good luck!

Re: almost 3.5 year old sleep/behavior change

I have no idea how to help you but I feel your pain. My twins will be 4 in a few weeks. At 1, we did CIO with them for 3 nights and since then they have been AMAZING sleepers. Would go up to bed on their own at 8pm and sleep all night till 6am. Even my dad was like that's not normal, kids don't get to bed that easy. Lol.

He jinxed us. Ever since a few weeks ago, they have been a nightmare. Won't go to bed and even once they finally do, they only sleep for a few hours and then they are up. DH and I are are so exhausted, my house looks like crap bc I am too tired to clean, never mind cook. All the things I said I'd never do quickly went out the window. We let them fall asleep on the couch now because we couldn't deal with the excessive screaming till 10pm. Now they fall asleep within 20 minutes and lay on the couch and DH carries them up to bed. Even once they are asleep, one if not both usually wake in the middle of the night and they wind up coming into bed with us.

We are worn out and done. I am with you on this. No advice here. Praying this is a phase. I know these are bad habits but you know what, we can't deal. I feel like a zombie all the time. DH was like this is worse then when they were newborns. They were up all night then but of course I wasn't mad at them. They were eating and so little. Now I am just pissed, screaming like a lunatic. Don't have it in with me to fight with them anymore.

FWIW, I keep hearing this is a common phase between 3.5-4 yrs old.