Advice on Strong Willed Child

My youngest dd is 2. She is very strong willed!!!!! Since birth this kid has had a mind on her own. She is an outside the box kind of thinker. She is very intelligent she talked in full sentences by 14 months. Dh and I always say She skipped the baby stage. She is sassy and can be loads of fun but her will is so intense everything is a battle. Her major battle these days is clothing. She refuses to wear pants/leggings/tights. I've been locked in a battle with her for weeks. I run around redressing her. It's ridiculous and I'm exhausted from it. I let her pick out her clothes. But within a few minutes she is undressing and wants to wear only a dress, tutu or leotard or nothing at all. I don't want to break her strong will because I can indentify with her. Im the same way and I know latter in life her strong will be good for her. Is it really bad of me to just let her run around in a tutu all day. Or let her out of the house with a dress and no tights and let her see for herself it's too
Cold? I don't want to be a bad parent or look like I'm neglecting her. We can't stay home all day and I can't battle her all day. These past few days we both end up in tears over clothes it's crazy!

Advice on Strong Willed Child

my DD is the same way. I could have written this myself. My youngest all together skipped the baby stage, like you said. There are some things I just let her get away with it because they are no big deal but others I will say..if you do this, mommy will give you this. And it will get her to eventually to wear the pants, get in the tub, whatever the battle is. Say if you wear the pants, then we can go outside to play. Do you want to play? yes, ok then wear the pants. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it don't. but for the most part, it does. GL!

Message edited 12/1/2014 7:34:58 AM.

Advice on Strong Willed Child

Im glad i am not the only one with a strong willed child!! My son drives me crazy sometimes!!

Advice on Strong Willed Child

My DD (2.5) is VERY strong willed. And something you wrote hit a chord with me. You let HER pick out her clothes. DH tells me ALL the time - don't give her a choice. Like for instance, I'll say to her (out of habit), can I change your diaper? and she'll say NO, and then it will be a struggle to do it.
Maybe if you just explain to her (since she's so bright), that YOU pick what she wears and she's wearing so and so.

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

She sounds like a fairly typical 2yo, unfortunately..

For the clothes, I would either let her pick out whatever she wants to wear, or let her pick from two options that you give her. Definitely don't let it get down to a battle of wills, though. In the long run, what she wears is of very little importance. She won't get sick from being cold. If she wears clothing that isn't warm enough for the temperature, just make sure she isn't outside very long.

Redirection is key at this stage. Even if you "win" a battle with her, the cost is too great. Let her "win" the little battles, and redirect the bigger battles as much as possible.

Look on-line and for books on strong-willed children, and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). Even if your DD doesn't have ODD, they have a lot of techniques you can use until she outgrows this stage.

ETA: fyi, 3 and 4 is often harder than 2...

Message edited 12/1/2014 9:03:44 AM.

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

My DD just turned 3 and is so strong-willed and stubborn. I give her 2 choices for an outfit. She gets to pick from those 2 choices only. DH approaches it a little differently - he picks out her outfit when they are going to be out of the house. When they get home, she can pick something -- 90% of the time, she forgets about it by the time they get home.

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

I always try to give my kids something to say yes to. Easier said than done sometimes but it seems to work.

Example - Do you want to wear this tutu? Yes. Okay, then you need to wear pants underneath.

Good Luck!

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

My dd was the same way at that age.

It gets better! Does she only take off her clothes at home? Or in public also?

I let my dd wear whatever she wants when we are home. My only rule is she can't keep changing (otherwise I would have a ton of laundry).

When it was really bad she would only wear certain clothes. I have her 2 choices and that was it. She HAD to wear one of them (I still do this). She had sensory issues and wouldn't wear jeans etc and I didn't force that as long as she was wearing an appropriate outfit for the activity/place we were going.

She is a tough kid. At around 2.5 she really tested me with everything! I had to stay strong and strict. I couldn't bend the rules with her one but otherwise she would take advantage of it. We had some very rough days and nights. Me holding her door closed so she would stay in her room.
Not many people believed me whe I told them but she really had another side to her. Her tantrums were insane! Like someone/thing took over her body. Once she got like that she would just keep going until she was just exhausted.
At almost 4 she is MUCH better now. Partly I think she grew up and party because she knows the "rules" now and knows she gets nothing out of acting that way.

It broke my heart being so strict with her. I felt horrible sometimes and cried alot. But I knew that is what she needed!
Hang in there. A friend of mine that had a similar dd promised me it would get better and it was so hard to believe but it has!

Message edited 12/1/2014 12:33:22 PM.

Advice on Strong Willed Child

Nothing wrong with a Tutu all day in the house. JMHO

Now you want to wear a dress outside, that's fine but its freezing. I will bring a pair of pants at 2yrs old. At 5yrs old, I warned her she'd suffer for it. She would and she'd be unhappy and I'd remind her it was her choice (and yeah, I'd have a set of pants ready but didn't tell her).

I love my independent child. Fine make your own choices! But I try to teach her (as she got older) to consider all the facts first. She's a rough and tough gal so she noticed she got hurt more without jeans, colder and less fun. So she made the choice based on her experience. I hate her wearing dresses. Drives me CRAZY but again, she wants it she has to live with it.

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

I highly recommend the book 123 Magic!!

Re: Advice on Strong Willed Child

My almost 2 yr old loves to take off her clothes and walk around naked. It's a battle we stopped trying to fight. We just try to make sure she peed on the potty (she's not potty trained yet). She mostly does it now after dinner/before bath, so we just let her have her way.

I let her wear whatever she wants when she gets like that. We are usually home anyway. Some days, she wants to wear her older brother's shirts, and she prances around like she's won the lottery when we let her do that.

She's very good at "if you want XXX, then you have to wear YYY". "If you want to wear your brother's batman shirt, then you have to wear a diaper too." A lot of times we will get "Okay Mommy."