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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Adult advice...
... I have a cousin that confides a lot in me. She just turned 16. Anyway, I try to give her good advise, and guide her down the right path, not sounding strict & demanding the way her mom (my aunt) would.
Anyway, she told me yesterday that she's planning on getting a tattoo in Dec (supposedly her 16½ bday...  ), and I keep telling her it's a bad idea, and that she should wait until at least she's 17 - for many reasons: she might change her mind, and not like the chosen tat, or because she'll be older/closer to make non-adolescent decisions... not to mention that her mom will flip out (she sent her to her dad, in Fl, because she came home with a belly piercing @ 15)!
I will not betray her trust by telling her mom, but how do I get thru to her? I keep trying to think how someone would have gotten through to me @ that age, and know that she still has that kid mentality ("I want what I want, and that's that") but that "you'll see when you get older what I mean" line just won't do.
 
ETA: She knows that I have FOUR tattoos, and even wants me to pose as her 'guardian' if they need a consent to be signed.
Message edited 7/21/2005 10:44:28 AM.
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Posted 7/21/05 10:42 AM  |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Adult advice...
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:44 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:44 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
Well that you can't do!
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:47 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
I would tell her mother. I know that you said you would not, but I have come to realize that I am an adult and on the adult's team now. I would sell her out in a heartbeat.
or show her the pics of someone getting tattoo removal done. That would stop me in my tracks.
Does she have her Hep shots yet? If she is going to a guy who will do it underage, then he probably isn't the cleanest.
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:47 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
Well that you can't do!
there is no way I would sign, that would be it
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:48 AM |
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Re: Adult advice...
I also got a tatoo when I was 15(well I did it myself) ....and I dont like it now
its just initials but I was too young to make that decision
Good Luck!!
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:49 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
You are not her legal guardian so you can't sign it.
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:51 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by JanicePosted by RedheadPosted by LichiPosted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
Well that you can't do!
there is no way I would sign, that would be it
I already told her that I'm not signing.... but she says that her friend's brother will probably do it for her without the consent. I'm assuming it's the same guy who pierced her belly button. 
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:54 AM |
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Stacey04
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 87 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Adult advice...
I thought they changed the law and you can't get a tattoo unless you are 18, even WITH the consent of a guardian?
And if she finds a place that will do it anyway, it will probably be a very shady place.
What if you tell her to wait until she is 18 and you will take her to someplace with a great reputation.
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:55 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Janice
I would tell her mother. I know that you said you would not, but I have come to realize that I am an adult and on the adult's team now. I would sell her out in a heartbeat.
or show her the pics of someone getting tattoo removal done. That would stop me in my tracks.
Does she have her Hep shots yet? If she is going to a guy who will do it underage, then he probably isn't the cleanest.
You bring up a good point... I can show her some nasty tattoo removal process, and how much it costs.
Granted, the tattoo she chose it's actually really nice, but still, I'm sure she'll think different when she gets older.
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:55 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Lichi
Posted by JanicePosted by RedheadPosted by LichiPosted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
Well that you can't do!
there is no way I would sign, that would be it
I already told her that I'm not signing.... but she says that her friend's brother will probably do it for her without the consent. I'm assuming it's the same guy who pierced her belly button.
Well IMO then i would tell her mother. IMO she shouldn't be doing this
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:56 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Stacey04
What if you tell her to wait until she is 18 and you will take her to someplace with a great reputation.
I've tried talking her out of it... and to wait until she's 17-18 instead, and she's not hearing me. She claims her 16½ bday has "sentimental value"... when I inquired, she said it was the same time she got her belly pierced. I almost threw up!
Was I this stupid when I was 15???  
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:57 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Redhead
Well IMO then i would tell her mother. IMO she shouldn't be doing this
That's the part that's bothering me... I feel that I have to, too, but don't want her to know that I did. I care about her, and she really trusts me... and listens to me, sometimes. I want her to confide in me, and still let me help her with other kid issues. But this is huge to me.. because it's a lifelong thing!
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:59 AM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Adult advice...
Well, the truth of the matter is, that kids are going to find ways to do things that they're not supposed to do.
I understand you feel you're in a bad position and don't want to 'betray' her. But you have to consider that her getting a tattoo (from a possibly shady place) could compromise her health. You are the adult and considering that she is under-age, she needs to be protected.
Do what you can to prevent it. I like what someone said about promising to take her when she's 18. Maybe even offer pay for it or something.
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:59 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
I think I'll try to change her mind to wait, again... even offer to pay for it (dunno where she thinks she'll get the $ for a tat, anyway). If all else fails, I'll tell her mom... not at this moment... too fresh, and will give her a chance to think about it more. If by mid-Oct/Nov she's still onboard, then I'll have to tell her mom.
Thanks ladies, you are the best!
Message edited 7/21/2005 11:03:21 AM.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:02 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adult advice...
i wouldn't tell her mom under any circumstances
i'd let her learn the hard way
if you snitch, she will never trust or confide in you again and the next time, it may be a much more serious issue.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:20 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i wouldn't tell her mom under any circumstances
i'd let her learn the hard way
if you snitch, she will never trust or confide in you again and the next time, it may be a much more serious issue.
I thought of that, too... I made mistakes when I was young that I had to learn from... and sometimes kids need room to live & learn from their own. Hmm....... back to the drawing board!
Damn, I wish she hadn't told me anything! lol
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:23 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i wouldn't tell her mom under any circumstances
i'd let her learn the hard way
if you snitch, she will never trust or confide in you again and the next time, it may be a much more serious issue.
good point Don
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:23 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adult advice...
right, there are times when you have to snitch
i don't see that need with a tatoo
sex or pregnancy, yes
and god forbid that were to happen, she needs tto have someone she can trust who can give her the help she needs
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:24 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
what if her mother finds out after the fact that you knew?
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:25 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Janice
what if her mother finds out after the fact that you knew?
then so be it
at age 15, the more you can get a kid to talk and confide, the better
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:28 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
right, there are times when you have to snitch
i don't see that need with a tatoo
sex or pregnancy, yes
and god forbid that were to happen, she needs tto have someone she can trust who can give her the help she needs
Definitely have a point, Don.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:29 AM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Adult advice...
I agree, there is a reason why she trusts you and confides on you. don't break that.
try to make her understand that right now is not the time, but like someone mentioned before you will be happy to get it for her later on.
see if you can substitute this for something else, maybe you can make a deal with her.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:32 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Janice
what if her mother finds out after the fact that you knew?
then so be it
at age 15, the more you can get a kid to talk and confide, the better
I disagree, I see what you are saying, but to let a child get away with sneaky illegal, harmful things simply because you are waiting to see if something more major comes along like sex, then blow your cover is silly.
As an adult you have an obligation to the girl's mother. Let her mother decide what actions to take
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:32 AM |
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