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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Adoption Q2
Another scenario on Dr. Phil yesterday was about a woman who put up her son for adoption and then years later wanted to get to know him. The adopted family told her that they are not ready to have her in their lives just yet and out of loyalty to the family the adopted son agreed that this wasn't the right time.
But the natural mother would not take no for an answer. She would leave noted on the boys car, go to his HS football games, buy his HS's jersey and send it to him....very stalker like.
What rights do you think a natural mother should have after she has given the child up?
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Posted 7/14/05 8:47 AM  |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Adoption Q2
I think she should have NO rights. She signed away any and all rights.
ETA unless it was a signed and agreed upon open adoption. Even so, I still think their are lines.
Edited a second time.
I think if you agree to an "open adoption" the adopter should make furtehr stipulations as to what exactly that means...it's so vague and could be interpreted a dozen ways.
Message edited 7/14/2005 8:56:14 AM.
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| Posted 7/14/05 8:50 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by DebG
I think she should have NO rights. She signed away any and all rights.
i agree
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| Posted 7/14/05 8:51 AM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
I agree, she gave away all of her rights! That is why there is a waiting period.
Plus in this case the child didn't even want to see her or have contact with her!
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| Posted 7/14/05 8:55 AM |
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dld4e
I ♥ my boys!
Member since 5/05 4461 total posts
Name:
DJ
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by Redhead
Posted by DebG
I think she should have NO rights. She signed away any and all rights.
i agree
same here!
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| Posted 7/14/05 8:59 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adoption Q2
agreed, if she signed the kid away for adoption, then it's a done deal, unless they agree on stipulations from the get go
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| Posted 7/14/05 9:05 AM |
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Re: Adoption Q2
I agree, no rights.
I saw that Dr. Phil too, and that woman came on way too strong. I would definately be freaked out if I got pics of myself sent to me in the mail
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| Posted 7/14/05 9:06 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Adoption Q2
NO rights.
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:13 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
If he's over 21, then she should have the right to contact him if she wants to. Nothing can stop her, but if he's underage, she has no right to try to impose herself ona situation where she is not wanted. Even if he was over 18 or 21, what she's doing is harassment or stalking.
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:43 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adoption Q2
no rights...it is not fair for the adoptive(real) mom to do the late nights, financial sacrafices..for the birth mother to pop her head in and say hi, I am your mom.
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:47 PM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Adoption Q2
I don't know about no rights...if the child is underage then no rights. but once over 18 then the right to at least let then know they exist and then make it the child's choice to contact the person.
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:50 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by LadyLainez
I don't know about no rights...if the child is underage then no rights. but once over 18 then the right to at least let then know they exist and then make it the child's choice to contact the person.
well tha tis the right of the CHILD...which i guess i agree. But i think that there should be NO RIGHTS of the natural mother to the child.
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:52 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by Redhead
Posted by LadyLainez
I don't know about no rights...if the child is underage then no rights. but once over 18 then the right to at least let then know they exist and then make it the child's choice to contact the person.
well tha tis the right of the CHILD...which i guess i agree. But i think that there should be NO RIGHTS of the natural mother to the child.
right, and in this case, the kid said he wanted nothing to do with the birth mother
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:54 PM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Adoption Q2
well, if a child said they didn't want contact then just move on and let him be!
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:55 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
I believe - under 18 = no rights
over 18- the same right any person ahs to contact any other person, which is absolutely none, if it's unwanted.
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:58 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by marymoon
I believe - under 18 = no rights
over 18- the same right any person ahs to contact any other person, which is absolutely none, if it's unwanted.
well i guess i believe once you give up your child YOU HAVE NO RIGHT at all!
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| Posted 7/14/05 12:58 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
Do you mean morally no rights? Like they should stay away because it's wrong? Or that they should be somehow legally compelled to stay away? I just think there's really nothing stopping any adult from contqacting any other adult. Whether it's right or wrong is another story. The reason i don't think it's "wrong" if the child is an adult is that they have the choice to ignore it, or decide to see the parents, and resumably they're mature anough to make that decision. I think ideally it SHOULD be the child going to look for the parents though. I think I'd die of shock if I got a phone call one day from someone saying "hi, my name is so and so and I'm your birth mother"
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:02 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
I think that they should legally be told that they are not allowed ANY contact unless it is child initiated.
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:03 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
and yes anyone could walk up to anyone and say hi... BUT IMO it is WRONG for a birth parent to intentionally seek out their child
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:04 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by Redhead
Posted by DebG
I think she should have NO rights. She signed away any and all rights.
i agree
I totally agree.
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:06 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
I don't think it should be illegal.
That's why I think the sites I mentioned are ideal, because the contact only happens if both sides want it.
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:06 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by Redhead
well i guess i believe once you give up your child YOU HAVE NO RIGHT at all!
I absolutely agree!
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:32 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
I guess to me, it's more frightening and unsettling to me to think that if my birth parents wanted to contact me that they wouldn't be able to by any means at all than to think they may contact me when it's unwanted. I mean you can always ignore a phone call or letter or tell them you don't want contact.
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| Posted 7/14/05 1:36 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Adoption Q2
I think over 18 they should have some rights...
only because from everything I have ever heard, seen, or people known, I have never seen a person ( an adoptee) NOT want to know their natural parents , so while there may not be a right time, certaintly not while the child is still young, the chances the adult at 18 will not want to know their birth parents is rare
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| Posted 7/14/05 6:42 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adoption Q2
Posted by dm24angel
I think over 18 they should have some rights...
only because from everything I have ever heard, seen, or people known, I have never seen a person ( an adoptee) NOT want to know their natural parents , so while there may not be a right time, certaintly not while the child is still young, the chances the adult at 18 will not want to know their birth parents is rare
But that is exactly why i wrote what i did....i do NOT think a birth parent should try to get in contact UNLESS the child initiates it!
I am SURE there are adopted kids out there that have no interest in meeting their natural parents. And i think it is their right NOT TO.
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| Posted 7/14/05 6:46 PM |
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