A little embarrassed to post this but.....

I'm feeling kind of upset - I was hesitant to post it because I dont want to give the wrong impression of DH; but he REALLY upset me today.

So, I really need to vent.

After work I went to Babies R Us because we have a shower to go to tomorrow (Hispanic people often have His/Her showers)

so while I'm there, I call DH to tell him how cute the clothes are and that I was looking at some of the cribs - Then I get home and I guess I said something else, don't really remember what and he starts saying that the baby is ALL I talk about!

Am I wrong for feeling saddened by this?

Don't get me wrong, he LOVES kids and is very excited about the baby but this really bothered me - I mean; is that possible? to talk about it too much??

SO, of course, I started crying and saying "Who else am I supposed to talk to about it?" I mean, yes, I talk to my mom and sister about it but, I dont know, it just hurt my feelings

thanks for letting me vent

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

I had the same experience but about my wedding and it hurt my feelings so badly. You know he loves you and the baby -- maybe he's just feeling left out or needs some attention?

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Posted by Lizzy

I had the same experience but about my wedding and it hurt my feelings so badly. You know he loves you and the baby -- maybe he's just feeling left out or needs some attention?

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

i think men get a little freaked out about being a dad. I think this is very typical no matter how much they want the baby. Don't worry, i'm sure he'll appoligize later! Like they said in Juno... a woman becaomes a om when shes PG, a man become a dad when the baby is born (or something like that)

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

I think you are normal to be hurt by that statement. DHs can say stupid things sometimes!

That's why you have us, to talk about anything and everything baby!

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Well, of course I don't know your DH, but my thought would be you guys haven't been married for too long, there is a baby on the way, and the baby talk scares him a bit because then he starts to think that if all you talk about now is the baby, what will it be like when the baby is born? Will he get attention anymore? Will there be any time for just the two of you? I don't think he meant to be hurtful, but I can understand why you were hurt.
I think all men have these fears... even I know I have those fears from time to time.

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Posted by SweetTooth

Well, of course I don't know your DH, but my thought would be you guys haven't been married for too long, there is a baby on the way, and the baby talk scares him a bit because then he starts to think that if all you talk about now is the baby, what will it be like when the baby is born? Will he get attention anymore? Will there be any time for just the two of you? I don't think he meant to be hurtful, but I can understand why you were hurt.
I think all men have these fears... even I know I have those fears from time to time.

Message edited 8/1/2008 8:44:28 PM.

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

maybe he's just a little nervous about the baby on the way.

But I would have been upset too.

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

hmmm, sounds like he is a teeny bit afraid that once baby comes, you will forget all about him. I would feel hurt too, but I think this is why he said it. my DH tells me straight out he is afraid I won't "need" him anymore once baby is here

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

I know what you guys are saying; but I honestly never act like i need him LOL
he always acts like he needs me - maybe thats it!!

LOL

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Awwwww I'm sorry to hear, I would have been really upset by that, too.

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Well, here's a possibility...maybe it really DOES dominate what you talk about? And guess what? THAT'S OK! You are the one walking around carrying the baby all day, so of course you're going to think and talk about it more than him. There's no way a man can understand. WE cannot take a break from pregnancy, yet they seem to think it's ok for them to. He sounds like a very typical man. I wouldn't worry. It doesn't mean he's not excited or looking forward to having a baby. It just means that he's a man and is listening to a lot of baby talk lately Tell him to get used to it because after the baby comes, there'll never be a day that you don't talk or think about your child. Sheesh, tell him to get up to speed!

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Posted by prncss

Well, here's a possibility...maybe it really DOES dominate what you talk about? And guess what? THAT'S OK! You are the one walking around carrying the baby all day, so of course you're going to think and talk about it more than him. There's no way a man can understand. WE cannot take a break from pregnancy, yet they seem to think it's ok for them to. He sounds like a very typical man. I wouldn't worry. It doesn't mean he's not excited or looking forward to having a baby. It just means that he's a man and is listening to a lot of baby talk lately Tell him to get used to it because after the baby comes, there'll never be a day that you don't talk or think about your child. Sheesh, tell him to get up to speed!

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

Awww, you feel like he doesn't get it because he DOESN'T! He has a penis, what the hell does HE know?
It's just one of those things that men are just never going to fully understand. Unfortunate, but true. But at the same time, it's a special thing that you'll always have a memory of that creates an amazing bond with your child.
Tell him to get over himself and cater to his pregnant wife like a good man should!

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

awwwwwwwwwwww
Giys can be such jerks sometimes! It sounds like he might be a little jealous of the baby!!! Don't let it get you down!!
XOXOXO
BOTB

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

That really would have hurt me too even though I know my DH is probably thinking it.

I think it's just that men don't bond as quickly as we do. I feel most of them don't "get it" until they see their LOs. He probably also just doesn't want to lose his wife to being a mom. I'd just try to make sure I set aside some time here and there just to sit and BS and laugh about other things. Sorry he said that to you though

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

His comment was really insensative. You are right to feel upset, but maybe he just misses the "regular you". Maybe you guys can set up a date night for once a week or something like that where it is just about you and him

Re: A little embarrassed to post this but.....

I could've written this post myself!

I think my DH is totally overwhelmed because this time last year, it seems like wedding was all everyone talked about with us.

Now, it's .

My DH is also super-neurotic by nature so I think he is really freaking out that this is actually real and probably the biggest responsibility he will ever have.

To add into the mix, we really weren't trying to get preggers....the plan was for sometime next year.........so I know THAT is hard for him.

He has made comments at least once or twice a week that all me/my family/his family talk about now is the .

I also really, really do not think that guys understand what we are going through the majority of the time AT ALL.

I know during my 1st trimester my DH would make comments that really ****** me off when I was super exhausted that I was just "milking it" and what not.