A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

if you don't mind letting me be sad for second.....

my sisters, sister in law had a baby today and she called me just now happy crying about how excited she is about becoming an aunt and that she now has a nephew...

& there was a part of me just now that was crushed. I mean utterly crushed that she called me so excited. (& i'm not mad at her AT ALL...I mean not at ALL) I'm not upset that her SIL brought a healthy beautiful baby boy into this world (I'm totally excited for her) but more of b/c I wish I had given MY sister, her first niece/nephew and made her an aunt for the first time. :( I remember that feeling of becoming an Aunt for the first time (thanks to my sister), it was THE BEST and still is the best and I can't help but feel sad that I wasn't the one to give my sister the same.

IDK why this crushed me so hard. is this weird?


ETA: i totally understand my sisters excitement as she gave me the most wonderful little boy to enter my life and I know she can't hide her excitement, nor would I want her to. This is just me being a little crazy & allowing me to vent here and let it all out

Message edited 1/13/2009 6:06:35 PM.

Re: I have a shameless thing to say.....

Re: I have a shameless thing to say.....

I'm sorry Dev-I knew how important this was for you-but you still will give her the first blood niece or nephew!

Re: I have a shameless thing to say.....

I am sorry... I totally know how you feel...

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

i am so sorry Dev..

unfortunately i went through the same thing

my younger sister just had her 3rd child.. and her SIL just had her first.. my sis was so excited to be a aunt.. and i was crushed to know it wasnt ME

hang in there.. it will happen for us.. and our own sisters will be just as excited for when we have ours

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Posted by MetsGirl07

i am so sorry Dev..

unfortunately i went through the same thing

my younger sister just had her 3rd child.. and her SIL just had her first.. my sis was so excited to be a aunt.. and i was crushed to know it wasnt ME

hang in there.. it will happen for us.. and our own sisters will be just as excited for when we have ours

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Dev---speaking as an experienced Titi -- it WILL be different when you are the one giving your sister a niece/nephew...I'm sure your sis was super excited and all, but there is just something different when its YOUR sister giving birth. I totally know how you feel about it all though...so its okay to be a little sad.

When its your time, the bond that you and your sis will have thru the pregnancy and afterwards, its just gonna be great. Don't worry about whether its her first time being an Aunt from someone else....it will still feel like the 1st time with you!!!

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

not alone..

of course you know its coming.. but once the baby arrives its a different feeling.. like you let her down.. i know thats how i felt..

i know the same will happen for you.. or at least your sister is thinking this... but eventually my sister said to me privately that... she cant WAIT for her OWN sister to have a baby.. that it will be much more exciting!

of course nothing against her SIL or the love of her nephew.. but it totally made me feel better!

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Dev---speaking as an experienced Titi -- it WILL be different when you are the one giving your sister a niece/nephew...I'm sure your sis was super excited and all, but there is just something different when its YOUR sister giving birth. I totally know how you feel about it all though...so its okay to be a little sad.

When its your time, the bond that you and your sis will have thru the pregnancy and afterwards, its just gonna be great. Don't worry about whether its her first time being an Aunt from someone else....it will still feel like the 1st time with you!!!

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

you're not alone! you're right to feel that way. Its very hard to be happy for people and then you feel guilty b/c you think you're being a beotch for feeling this way.

hubby's friend is on their 2nd baby (granted the mom is in her late 30's and wanted to do this quickly) but when my hubby told me a few months ago..my first reaction was "Oh..yeah." and he could tell right away the look on my face. I had to go into another room and cry for a minute b/c I couldnt deal. am i happy for them..hell yes!! But i feel like his friend looks at his wife and she's preggers...LOL.

Your sister will still be as excited for you, if not more b/c you are her sister, not her SIL.

feel better!

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

It will be diffrent when you have your baby. Your sister will be on cloud 9 that day. The feeling she felt today will be nothing like she will feel when its your turn.

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

I had a similar situation occur in my family- my SIL gave birth to the first child in DH's family, I was trying for so long, knocking away the obstacles; 4 days after I was told I was no longer pregnant from my IVF, SIL delivered a beautiful little boy. I watched the nurse clean him and SIL hold him - oh boy, I felt, very emotional! I love her and him and I'm not jealous in a malicious way, but I'm sad for me, I think you understand that emotion?

I don't think we are bad people for feeling that way, just the opposite; I remember phases of my life when I just turned numb if I couldn't control the emotion or didn't like it, etc., I believe we need to experience these emotions, it's part of the process.
Again, I hate to sound so hokey, but it's our passion that allows us to really enjoy this "trip we call life" and experiencing sadness allows us to really appreciate happiness, ya know? We will find motherhood on our path and it will be right for us.

It is kinda sucky feeling that way, I wish you the best!
I'm sorry if that was way TMI, it comes with a disclaimer that my emotions are a bit strange due to lack of sleep and hormones But, know that you are not alone

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Thank You Ladies for letting me know it's OK for me to feel this.

I'm SO happy for my sister & her SIL and I feel sad for myself that I'm feeling a bit like this but it's nice to hear from you ladies, it's comforting.





kitcat----I loved what you wrote.

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Im sorry. I know how it feels. I was so excited and happy for my brother he he told me he and SIL were expecting. But when I hung up the phone I cried b/c as happy as I was for them I wish I was pregnant too. It will be our turn one of these days.

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

I totally know how you feel - my SIL just had her 3rd baby and they're thinking of making another SIL godmother (she's the only one not one), and we were totally hoping to make our first child her first godchild. It is so hard when you hear others near you getting pregnant or having a baby, of course you are happy for them, but it doesn't mean its easy. This place is so helpful to vent when things like this happen. Hang in there, it will happen. And yes, it will be different for your sister when its YOU thats preggers, its just somehow different when its your sister.

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Dev---speaking as an experienced Titi -- it WILL be different when you are the one giving your sister a niece/nephew...I'm sure your sis was super excited and all, but there is just something different when its YOUR sister giving birth. I totally know how you feel about it all though...so its okay to be a little sad.

When its your time, the bond that you and your sis will have thru the pregnancy and afterwards, its just gonna be great. Don't worry about whether its her first time being an Aunt from someone else....it will still feel like the 1st time with you!!!

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

Just think when you bring your "little doodle" into the world, it'll be of you and your sister's bloodline... so it'll truly be her first "real" niece/nephew.

HTH

Re: A "let me be sad post"...(I didn't like my title lol)

it's totally normal. we all know the feeling; we are totally excited for them but wish wish wish wish wish it was us. we're right there with ya Dev!!! It will happen soon enough!