TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

Congrats on your little beans! I am hoping to join this board sooner or later, but I am having a constant battle in my mind about having a baby.

I am in my mid 20s. DH is in his early 30s. We stopped using BCP and protection after we got married. Recently, we were told that I will possibly need Clomid to ovulate. GREAT, we found the problem. But now I am having complete anxiety over the idea that I will swallow a pill and possibly/hopefully control when we get pregnant.

I love our life now. I am young. Do I want a baby,...yes. But ....there are positives to both sides. I have only just begun taking my BBTs.

I don't think age has anything to do with it. I was married at 23...WHICH is basically unheard of these day.

So, my question to you is.... would you wait or would you try the medication knowing what you know now?

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

It's funny that you say that. When we decided to get rid of birth control and jsut go with it, whatever happened happened, I wanted it. I honestly didn't think it would happen so soon for us. I lurked around here for a little while and assumed it would take a couple months before it actually happened. But when it happened the first month of trying I got completely overwhelmed. I had the thoughts am I ready for this? Things were so perfect, maybe we should have waited a little longer...Buuuut now that I'm almost through my 1st trimester and my hormones seem to be leveling off, I'm really excited to meet our LO. I still think that way sometimes too, but it's life and with life comes change. You need to do what's best for you and your DH. You can still love your life after having a baby, in fact you may even love it more!!

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

Personally, I don't feel anyone ever feels "ready" to have a baby. You toss the idea around constantly but will always find a reason to wait. Whether it be money, mentality, or what have you.

I married my DH when I was 22. We decided to try for a baby when I was 24 and on the 3rd month of trying I got pregnant with my DS. Initially I was beyond over the moon excited. After a week of thinking about it, I started BUGGING out. Total anxiety.

The anxiety calmed down a few months in. And to this day I have absolutely no regrets.

I was married for 2 full years before we even TTC. In that time we traveled, bought a house, had successful careers.

We started TTC again for #2. And right off the bat I was nervous. Got pregnant first month. After thinking I lost the baby we actually found out I am pregnant with twins.

When the twins get here DS won't even be 2 yet. But again, we are so ridiculously excited I can't even explain it.

We always thought we would be done with 2 kids. But already we feel so much more complete with the twins in the picture.

Bottom line, I feel like our decision to have kids young was a good one. We will be young when our kids go off to college. And have the flexibility/freedom to enjoy retirement (hopefully )

At the end of the day only you can figure out for yourself if you are truly ready. Good luck with whichever decision you make.

Message edited 10/22/2010 8:18:28 PM.

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

Only you know if you are ready for a child. It sounds like you and DH need to talk about what you want.

Having a child is a life changing event, so of course it is scary - no matter what age you start. I'm not sure you are ever fully prepared for it.

I was 34 when I had my 1st child, I knew I wanted to have a child, I felt I was ready but it didn't stop me from being terrified when I got the BFP. Even now being PG for our 2nd - it is scary. Life is very comfortable with the 3 of us - what is throwing one more into the mix going to do???

Search your heart, that is where you answer is

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

Posted by sunflowerjesss

Personally, I don't feel anyone ever feels "ready" to have a baby. You toss the idea around constantly but will always find a reason to wait. Whether it be money, mentality, or what have you.

I married my DH when I was 22. We decided to try for a baby when I was 24 and on the 3rd month of trying I got pregnant with my DS. Initially I was beyond over the moon excited. After a week of thinking about it, I started BUGGING out. Total anxiety.

The anxiety calmed down a few months in. And to this day I have absolutely no regrets.

I was married for 2 full years before we even TTC. In that time we traveled, bought a house, had successful careers.

We started TTC again for #2. And right off the bat I was nervous. Got pregnant first month. After thinking I lost the baby we actually found out I am pregnant with twins.

When the twins get here DS won't even be 2 yet. But again, we are so ridiculously excited I can't even explain it.

We always thought we would be done with 2 kids. But already we feel so much more complete with the twins in the picture.

Bottom line, I feel like our decision to have kids young was a good one. We will be young when our kids go off to college. And have the flexibility/freedom to enjoy retirement (hopefully )

At the end of the day only you can figure out for yourself if you are truly ready. Good luck with whichever decision you make. :hig:

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

Thank you so much ladies! I honestly wish I did not have the control. If I were to get pregnant tomorrow....I would be over the moon and so would my DH. But, I think I am over analyzing the whole situation because I will have to swallow a pill to make it happen.

I want one. He wants one.

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

I'm sure you're working with a doctor at this point, but know that you can't take clomid forever. There's a limit on the # of months in a lifetime you can take it. So if you're not quite ready yet, I wouldn't start with the medicine.

My opinion is you should just keep doing what you're doing "naturally" and see where you are in 6 months or so. At that point, you may have conceived on your own and it'll be a huge surprise! Maybe you'll have more of an idea if you're really ready to start a family by then. Maybe you'll feel more excited about the fact that you may actually have this sort of control over your body that you can plan so much on your own (or at least try to).

I agree with the PP that just because you may need the aid of medication to help you ovulate does not in any way mean you can "control" whether or not you will get pregnant right away because you've done so. Wouldn't it be convenient if we could just take a pill and suddenly there were a baby growing in our tummies? It's definitely possible to think of it that way, but try not to... then you can make your decision about how to proceed based on your feelings about starting a family rather than science's role in helping with the miracle of life.

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

I agree with above. You may have real problems getting pregnant if you are not ovulating on your own. In addition, there us only so many cycles of clomid you should do (total). It's no pregnancy pill. You may want to ask the infertility board girls what they think.

Nothing makes you feel more ready to have a child than the possibility you can't have one.

Wait until you are ready... but keep in mind, it may not be an easy road.

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

I think all the girls gave fantastic advice.

My advice?? Don't start TTC or "seeing what happens" unless you are REALLY sure you want the change of a baby in your life.

Like the girls said, taking the medication doesn't mean you'll get pregnant immediately. But guess what? DH and I started trying, thinking it would take 6-12 months to get preggers, and we got pg on the 1st month of trying!

Like you said, age shouldn't matter...I will tell you though, I'm 31 and DH is 35-(we met when we were 28 and 32)-for us, we are really glad we've gotten to where we want to be in our careers, we've traveled, had tons of fun "party years", and spent our 20's freely. At this point in our lives we are ready for babies and to be settled down.

But again, that's just us and our point of view. Everybody's different-different strokes for different folks!

Whatever you and your DH decide will be wonderful either way. But I wouldn't start trying out of fear that you might have difficulty TTC. Start trying because you want to and you're ready

Good Luck!

Re: TTCer Crashing,..... Wait?? Plan? Medication? Ahhhh

You said, "GREAT, we found the problem." so does that mean you were basically ttc already and so now it makes more sense why you never got a bfp? If so, it seems to me like you already have your answer. Why should the addition of a pill into the mix make any difference?

As for being "ready" ds is 8 months old and I'm still not ready, lol.

GL with whatever you decide!