vent about DH and SA

DH and I have been TTC for a few cycles now. I have been off BC since August 08. My dr. thinks that I have have PCOS, but hasn't specifically diagnosed me with it yet. He wants DH to go for an SA first before doing an HSG and other tests on me.

I told DH about it before my last cycle started. We agreed we would give it one more cycle and really try. I drank fertili-blend & grapefruit juice, took my vitamins every day, cut my caffeine pretty much all out and we BD like we were teenagers I had EWCM and ovulation pains and my OPK had a VERY VERY dark line for a surge (a LOT darker then other months)

Well, TBAF showed on Saturday And when I started talking to DH about making an appointment for an SA he basically implied that he was uncomfortable with the test, although I'm not quite sure why. I explained to him it could be done at home and be brought in....still no.


Sometimes I want to SCREAM !! I even tried explaining to him the tests I would have to have done, and how much blood I have already had taken, and how much more would probably need to be taken...it seems like he isn't going to budge. How the he!! does he think we're going to get pregnant !!

I have a DC from a previous relationship and wasn't even trying to get pregnant...why does it have to be so hard this time when I want it to happen so bad !!

Sorry for the vent...I know you girls are the only ones who truly understand


For everyone !!

Re: vent about DH and SA

I can't speak for anyone...but I have HEARD guys have a hard time dealing with it being "their fault." So maybe the thought of it is bothering him. Has he gone WITH you to your dr? Maybe if he did, the dr could help explain all of this. Maybe schedule your tests and have him come with you. I know it seems simpler to have him go first, but maybe once he sees all you go through, he'll realize how easy he has it.

Just because you go first, doesn't mean you'll have the results immediately, so you have time...and maybe find out both results together?

Re: vent about DH and SA

I agree with pp...

To make a long story short - we had some struggles when DH had to go. After he got the results and they came back fine, he called me to apologize for being such an a$$ - he was nervous.

Re: vent about DH and SA

I totally know he's just nervous....I just wish I could get him to realize that it is probably just me that is "broken". He was an overweight kid, and I know that could have raised his body temp and might cause an issue, but I haven't told him any of that because I dont' want to make him MORE nervous.

I think I am going to tell him we'll do one more month, but THAT'S IT. Maybe I'll tell him once I "O" that we can schedule an appointment for the end of the 2WW and if we get a BFP we'll cancel it. He hasn't come to the dr's with me, but I tell him about everything that is discussed. The dr. won't even schedule me for anymore tests until he has DH's SA results.

I need a vacation !!

Re: vent about DH and SA

So...have him come to the dr. Let your dr. tell him all of this. He just might (combined with nerves) think you are making it up so he has to go first.

I know from experience that if I tell DH anything someone else told me, he will not believe it until he hears that person say it. He would look at me and say "you're not a doctor."


MEN!

Re: vent about DH and SA

I was worried about mentioning it to DH so I went through and did all of my testing (what fun!) and finally there was nothing else but for him to get tested, he finally did and it turns out he is the issue and I wish he would've went earlier instead of putting myself through the upset every month. You are TTC as a team and he should be able to go take the test if that is what needs to get done!! Good luck with everything!!

Re: vent about DH and SA

My dh didnt have any problems with doing the test. he was embarrased..i had to go to the lab, make the appt's, get the kit, drop it off etc..LOL but he knew by doing this first i can avoid any uneccessary invasiveness.

that said, the first test didnt go so well and the lab effed up his results and basically said his spermies werent moving and were poor. (long story). He was freaking...the thought of us having trouble b/c of issues on his end really freaked him out. But we knew stuff went wrong with getting the sample to the lab (poor instructions, missing stuff from the kit, etc.) so we figured we would do another one somewhere else (again..i had to make all the arrangements..LOL) but he did it and never complained. turns out all was fine and he was relieved.

So i think its more of the fact that your Dh is embarrased that he has to give a specimen and the worry that if there is a problem, its on his end. Its more male pride than anything else.

Re: vent about DH and SA

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Men can be such babies. Women have to go to all of the doctor's appointments, get things inserted who kows where, blood drawn, and all that and they just have to do what they do anyway, but in a cup. AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO CARRY THE BABY AND GIVE BIRTH!!! (Can you tell that double standards flip me out?)

You should write all the tests they'll have to do and all the stuff you'll have to go through on one side of a piece of paper and on the other side, just write "You have to you know what into a cup, AT HOME". Maybe that'll make him see how ridiculous it is to ask you to go through all of that testing.

Good luck! I hope you're able to talk some sense into him.

Re: vent about DH and SA