bummed & confused!

I'm just really bummed & confused!
I'm not quite ready to join the ttc group but I finally made it to the gyno the other day. I seem to have a real problem going....I get lost going to the office all the time, I screw up the days of the appt...its actually quite funny just how subconsciously I always find away of screwing up appts..but I finally went...
but now I'm depressed and confused...

So I told the doc I got married...of course next came when and if I was planning on starting with kids...
as he proceeded to reassure me..."the older I get the more complications arise for me and baby (and then the kick while your already down)...You do know you may need assistance in getting pregnant"

now I know all this....I just hate hearing it!

...not quite looking to join the ttc family yet but I do know the longer I wait the more problems can arise.

I just don't know....
has anyone been told this and not have a problem ttc?

Re: bummed & confused!

I think it is rather common knowledge amongst women that the longer you wait the more difficult it CAN be but that does not necessarily mean that WILL be the case. Perhaps your doctor said what he said so that you have all the information you need with no surprises in the future. Some doctors feel an obligation to inform regardless of if it is something you want or are prepared to hear. SOMETIMES doctors say things to cover themselves. You never know one's motivation.

Now we started TTC just before my 36th birthday. At my TTC doctor appointment (DH came with me), my doctor told us that there is no reason to believe we cannot (or will have difficulty) conceive until we try. He knows my family history (and there is a colorful history) as one of my sisters and my mother are his patients. He did tell us that age is a factor in conception but he was very soft about it. He is not an alarmist.

I think you should give yourself an opportunity to try TTCing before you resign yourself to the fact that you may have problems. There are so many women who thought they would have issues and dont. In any case, good luck and much when you are ready!

Re: bummed & confused!

Thank you...
I guess I'm just scared that I will have problems but I guess we all are.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis about 14yrs ago and I guess that just weighs on the back of my mind (always)

Re: bummed & confused!

Posted by Goldi0218

I think it is rather common knowledge amongst women that the longer you wait the more difficult it CAN be but that does not necessarily mean that WILL be the case. Perhaps your doctor said what he said so that you have all the information you need with no surprises in the future. Some doctors feel an obligation to inform regardless of if it is something you want or are prepared to hear. SOMETIMES doctors say things to cover themselves. You never know one's motivation.

I think you should give yourself an opportunity to try TTCing before you resign yourself to the fact that you may have problems. There are so many women who thought they would have issues and dont. In any case, good luck and much when you are ready!

Re: bummed & confused!

Posted by alexlynn7

Posted by Goldi0218

I think it is rather common knowledge amongst women that the longer you wait the more difficult it CAN be but that does not necessarily mean that WILL be the case. Perhaps your doctor said what he said so that you have all the information you need with no surprises in the future. Some doctors feel an obligation to inform regardless of if it is something you want or are prepared to hear. SOMETIMES doctors say things to cover themselves. You never know one's motivation.

I think you should give yourself an opportunity to try TTCing before you resign yourself to the fact that you may have problems. There are so many women who thought they would have issues and dont. In any case, good luck and much when you are ready!

totally agree - maybe your doctor felt the need to inform you of the potential concerns if you were to wait to ttc. regardless of his motivation, it sounds like he brought you down, and i'm really sorry you're bummed and confused now i agree with goldi, why not give yourself an opportunity to ttc when you are ready? you may not have any problems at all. good luck!!

Re: bummed & confused!

I'm sorry but I feel differently-I am 32-I will be 33 in June. My DH and I started TTC 2 months after we were married. Unfortunately we have dealt with th pain of multiple miscarriages and are just now starting to heavily investigate what the problem is. i would love to have 2 children with some tme in between them but i think I may be pushed into a situation where I will have to have one and get PG 6 mos. later if this is even possible. The ther option is for us to adopt which can also take 1-2 yrs.

Some people get PG right away with endo-some people don't. I would suggest asking your Dr to do an HSG on you. They will shoot dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes to see what level you are at. Then and only then can you make the determination to wait or not. GL!


HSG I thought the only way to see endo is with a LAP? (its been 12 yrs since I've done that)

Re: bummed & confused!

I started with a gyno about 1 yr ago which about 6 months after I got married, right away she asked when we were going to start a family. I explained to her not any time soon. She ran down the list of reasons medically not wait too long and of course I got a little bothered by it. However I realized what is to be is to be.. Just remember you have to be "ready" not just because all the "paperwork" says you should or that you would have any reason not to be able to have children without a problem.
If it does worry then one of the woman suggested their is a way to see if you have issues, perhaps that would put your mind at ease a little.

Message edited 11/19/2006 12:44:21 PM.

Re: bummed & confused!

have you been seeing the gyno regularly for the endo? Where does the endo stand NOW?
Thats gonna make a big difference. you can tell Im sure by AF, is it heavy etc?

I would'nt say youwould neccesarily automaticlaly have a hard time TTC no....but I actually think it was GOOD of the DR. to point it out....my OBGYN played off my concerns and 2 years later I needed IVF.

How old are you?

Re: bummed & confused!

Re: bummed & confused!

Im 32 & honestly I havent done much with the endo since I was diagnosed.
I had a lap when I was (20 I think) the dr sux. I had a lot of px with af and w/ovulation since I started af and after years of complaining he finally did a lap. When I woke up he said he seen no signs (so he basicly went in to look) at his office for my follow up he told me it was endo and I was stage 1 mainly in the back of uterus and wanted to start me on heavy duty drug tx...never even explaining what endo was (I did the research on my own)
Needless to say I found a differant doc in the city. He basicly told me there was no need to go back in and look, that would just cause more scar tissue for it to attach to but with all the other symptoms he also believe (as do I) its on my bowels as well. I went on the pill continuously...did that for a few years until I kept getting break through bleeding. (I moved away for a few years so no longer see that doc) When I moved back here I found this doc and I told him I understand why taking the pill continuously but I really didnt like the fact of stopping my af completely so now I go every three months without af.
My biggest fear and I really haven't told the doc...I started to get some of the old pain back from when I was younger. The only way to describe it is a deep bone ache down my legs that starts with ovulation. Then there are some months where everything is fine...other months where I'm completely out of it. I've learn to deal with cramps its the fatigue that gets me the most! (& the brain seems to shut down a little...I did bring that up to the doc...asked him why do I basicly become braindead/forgetfull w/af...he said it is a hormonal thing its not just me)

wow thats me in a nut shell
Thanks for all the advice and just letting me vent too

Message edited 11/19/2006 1:12:35 PM.

Re: bummed & confused!

Re: bummed & confused!

First be honest and forthright with your doc, especially if you trust him and get a good feeling from how he handles you as a patient. He can only help you if you've told him what's going on.

AS far TTC I think a lot of factors weigh into being ready. If my relationship or financial means (basic means not lavish needs) or my own health was in question then those are things that I would need to address before TTC even if my age and fertility issues were pressing me to. But if it was just that I wanted to travel more, perhaps have a little more time at a job, or have things then I would seriously consider putting those kinds of needs aside for the sake of TTCing sooner if my age and fertility issues were pressing me to.

Its really a joint decision. Talk it out. I think your best friend aka DH will help you chose what's right for you both.

Message edited 11/19/2006 6:28:20 PM.