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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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I have a dilemma (long)
I posted a few times before that I didnt want a shower because of family drama and because we are having a Briss and I feel that we can celebrate then. Anyway, I found out (but wasnt supposed to) that I am having a shower. Nobody knows that I know and I even know the date. Anyway, I have very mixed feelings...I am not happy with my in laws right now and I am a little upset with a friend that I know is invited. I told my sister and DH that if I do end up having a shower, I want to know when it is...I dont want to be surprised. Well, nobody has said anything to me and I am so angry at my in laws right now that I dont want to see them. I am also a little sad about the issue I am having with my friend. I dont know what to do...should I say something to DH that I know about the shower or just go with it and act surprised? I want to know because I feel like I need to mentally and emotionaly prepare myself to see these people and I dont know if I can fake that I am surprised. I also feel angry because I wanted to know the date if I was going to have one at all but nobody has said a word. What would you girls do? I dont want to come off sounding ungrateful because I think its really nice what my family is doing but I also didnt want one to begin with because of the drama that goes on. TIA! 
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Posted 10/20/06 8:26 AM  |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
Are you upset with your friend because she knew you didn't want a shower?
I would say something to DH. This is upsetting you so much you may end up snapping at him and it will all come out.
I hope when you get to the shower it ends up being wonderful
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| Posted 10/20/06 8:36 AM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
I would go and act suprised.
You can work out your problems with your friends and your IL's after the party. You will never have an oppotunity to have a shower again for this baby, so i would just try your best to enjoy it and all the people that are there to support you.
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| Posted 10/20/06 8:39 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
How did you find out about it? If it is going to cause more trouble in the WAY you found out then you might be better off just going along. But if it's not a big deal HOW you found out and it is still really bothering you I would talk to your husband and whoever you think is throwing the shower. They should understand your feelings and respect your wishes. This is a fragile time for women and they need to be sensitive to that. That being said, I am sure it would be a WONDERFUL day and that you would have a great time. You don't have to bother with people that day who you don't feel like, you'll be so busy eating and opening presents and being surrounded by those who love you. Maybe it would be better if your DH was there at the shower. HTH
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| Posted 10/20/06 8:43 AM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
I understand your frustration, but think of it this way - someone wanted to celebrate in your honor and is throwing you a party. They are going out of their way for you.
Enjoy it for what it is - have a ball and get all the gifts you can!
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| Posted 10/20/06 9:14 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
I think now that you know...you already have want you wanted the "knowing" part of when you shower is...so...I wouldnt confront anyone about knowing when it is. I am not having a shower for the same reasons u didnt have one but I also think that your in-laws friends etc...wanted to celebrate and are looking forward to it. I dont think it was malicious. What about your parents are they in on this too? IMO...its already done...go and have a good time and celebrate your baby.
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| Posted 10/20/06 9:19 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
Posted by PrincessP
I think now that you know...you already have want you wanted the "knowing" part of when you shower is...so...I wouldnt confront anyone about knowing when it is. I am not having a shower for the same reasons u didnt have one but I also think that your in-laws friends etc...wanted to celebrate and are looking forward to it. I dont think it was malicious. What about your parents are they in on this too? IMO...its already done...go and have a good time and celebrate your baby.
I have to agree. I can understand you being upset, but it's not like the shower is going to be cancelled, so just go along with it and enjoy. Think about how much easier having the baby will be with all the great stuff people are going to get you!
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| Posted 10/20/06 9:31 AM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
I agree with everyone here -- and take it as a party for the baby, not you...  ...maybe that will help.
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| Posted 10/20/06 9:33 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
Posted by BabyCote2006
I understand your frustration, but think of it this way - someone wanted to celebrate in your honor and is throwing you a party. They are going out of their way for you.
Enjoy it for what it is - have a ball and get all the gifts you can!
Agreed. Many girls would love to have a shower and don't live near family or friends to make that happen. Be grateful, even if you don't feel that way.
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| Posted 10/20/06 9:42 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by PrincessP
I think now that you know...you already have want you wanted the "knowing" part of when you shower is...so...I wouldnt confront anyone about knowing when it is. I am not having a shower for the same reasons u didnt have one but I also think that your in-laws friends etc...wanted to celebrate and are looking forward to it. I dont think it was malicious. What about your parents are they in on this too? IMO...its already done...go and have a good time and celebrate your baby.
I have to agree. I can understand you being upset, but it's not like the shower is going to be cancelled, so just go along with it and enjoy. Think about how much easier having the baby will be with all the great stuff people are going to get you!
I agree with everything said here. You wanted to know so that your could prepare yourself. Now you can do that. If it is upsetting you that much and causing stress, maybe you should just tell DH that you know about it and vent about it to him, as long you think it won't upset him too much. When is the shower? If it's still far away, you have more time to let it bother you and it might be good to get your frustrations out. If it's coming up soon, it will be over and just hold on until then. Remember, you can always vent to us. I hope you can let your issues with ILs and your friend go on the day of the shower and enjoy yourself. I think it'll be easier to act surprised than tell everyone you know about it.
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| Posted 10/20/06 9:45 AM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
Thank you everyone for your opinions on this..I really appreciate it! I think that I will just go along with it and you know what, you girls are right, it should be a celebration so I am going to look at it that way and ignore all the negative stuff. Thank you all again!!
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| Posted 10/20/06 3:15 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: I have a dilemma (long)
Try and have fun.
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| Posted 10/20/06 3:17 PM |
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