home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I should preface by mentioning that I have a diagnosed case of OCD in case the following post seems odd. I have a hard time discerning what thoughts and ideas are worth being extremely concerned about and what is simply "no big deal." I'm constantly worried about making less than perfect life choices.
That being said, my wife and I moved into a home in Ridge 2 yrs ago. Its a modest ranch down the street from the house where she grew up in and is on the border of middle island in a nice development very close to longwood high school. We got what I feel is a great deal on the house and there are many things I love about it.
When we were looking for homes we weren't completely decided on whether or not we wanted to start a family down the road but we have since decided that we do. Now that we have decided to do so the OCD has flared up and I can't stop thinking: "Did I choose the right house to buy in the right town?" Greatschools.com rates longwood rather poorly so am I harming my child's future before they're even born? All teachers have a curriculum to adhere to irrespective of what district they work in, so what makes one school better than another?" to make a long story short, I simply can't help but feel like I f#$*&ed up by buying my home in the area that I did.
I grew up in Sound Beach and went to Miller place school district and it seems like the older I get, the more I look at my childhood with rose colored glasses and am beginning to really miss living in that area. For some reason Miller Place SD is looked at as the example of the great school district that all others in Brookhaven should be measured against but let me tell you; there was NOTHING special about that district when I was a kid. Compared to Rocky point they offered less activities/options for kids and more than one of my fellow alumni feel like they were cheated out of a good education by teachers who didn't seem to care. There were exceptions to this of course in a few teachers whom i'll remember fondly for the rest of my life. As students though we always wondered where in the hell our parents' tax money was going being that the school seemed to run on a shoestring budget. (or at least that's what it seemed like)
All this being said, we actually started our house hunting in rocky point and sound beach but there simply wasn't anything nice on the market in that area at that time.
I'm just curious as to parents'/other people's opinions and views on the topic of what makes a school district or town "nice." Is judging a district by its rating on Great-schools a fallacy? Does ethnic diversity influence test scores and thus the reputation of a school?

Message edited 8/9/2018 3:00:24 PM.

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

Why are you so concerned about this now? The child wouldn’t start in the school system until at least 5 years plus another year or two to be born. Then the first years of grammar school aren’t crazy when it comes to education. You are almost looking at 10 years until the school district really becomes a factor.

home buyers remorse.......kind of?

You can sell the house before your child goes to kindergarten, which, since they haven’t been conceived yet, is a while off.

We bought our house before I was pregnant with DD. Our district is fine on paper but not a good fit for us or what we want for DD. She’s 2.5 now and we will be selling the house before she goes to kindergarten in 2 years.

You can always sell a house.

home buyers remorse.......kind of?

There's a lot more to a school district than their rating. I'd wait until hot actually have kids and talk to parents in the district to see how they feel. Going to pm more info.

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I agree that you have a while to think about this, but being that your wife grew up near where you purchased your house, I assume she went to the schools? How was her experience with the schools?

home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I know many families in Longwood, and they have ZERO complaints! They all seem to love it. Great Schools.net is a joke, that stuff isn't accurate AT ALL. Many kids opt out of testing, and that brings the score down DRAMATICALLY on those websites. I would take them with a grain of salt, and join the Facebook groups for your school district, and get the REAL scoop.

home buyers remorse.......kind of?

Sounds like you have plenty of time to make a decision about schools. The lower ratings are more representative of middle and high school, elementary schools are typically OK. You also have the option of private . And with your inlaws so close by you will hopefully have lots of childcare help

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

sent you a PM

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I totally understand your concerns. I also bought a home in Ridge- back when I was certain we wouldn't have kids. I now have 2. #whoknew
I actually do have buyers remorse because we bought a house at just about the height of the bubble that is Way too small for 2 kids - and now to get out seems like it will be very hard.
I've been wanting to move to another town because I worry about the schools. But I will tell you - I love the elementary school. DS#1 is going into 4th this year. We have loved most of his teachers - and even the one we didn't LOVE was still pretty good. DS was diagnosed with ADHD and his teachers and the admin couldn't have been more helpful and understanding!
DS #2 is starting kindergarten and with the teachers and programs, I'm very happy with him starting there. There are a couple of things I'd like to see change a bit, but overall we have had a pretty good experience.
I think - it seems anyway - that overall the district has been looking better. My biggest worry is the size - especially the high school!! But I went to a fairly small HS so that is what I was comfortable with. DH went to Sachem, so for him, the size doesn't seem as daunting.
And, as others have said, you have quite a while to make any decisions so, don't worry too much. Ask around with your neighbors with kids in the district - you may find that it looks a lot better to you than what something like Great Schools shows.

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

Some school districts do a lot to skew their testing numbers so they look better. Some school districts don't report negative activities in the district so they look safer or they reclassify things so it looks like things are getting better but they just changed the degree.
You can go by just scores. Take to parents in the district. I know Longwood gets a bad rap but any parent I know with children in the district love the district.
How do you feel about your neighborhood and neighbors? That is what you should judge your neighborhood on.

home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I may be the odd one out here - but I think now is the perfect time to start thinking about where you want your kids to go to school and plan accordingly. Too many times people wait and say "I have time" and end up stuck in their house because now they have 2 kids and it is hardier to sell/buy/move.
I also think you can't go by those school ratings OR by what you thought of a school as a kid in the school. I know I look at my childhood district much different as a parent than I did as a teenager.
For example - my DH went to Longwood. He had a very positive experience there so we started out looking in that area. We ended up falling in love with a house in Miller Place. Now as a parent - I am VERY glad we ended up where we are. My DH had a great experience at Longwood but as a parent he does look at the district differently now. Mainly bc of my youngest dd's special needs. Miller place has been amazing with our situation and she truly thrives in the small district/community setting. So - all I am saying is don't base your opinions on school ratings and your teenage opinions. Reach out to other parents and see what they say. GO on the community Facebook pages - I also feel like these show a lot about the school and community.
I don't think its too early to be thinking about this stuff because I know it gets harder to move once kids are thrown into the mix lol. Good Luck!

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I'm in the same area. We bought here thinking it will be our starter home. We knew we would have kids and we now have 3. My oldest is in the elementary school now. I have zero complaints. We are now looking for a bigger home in the same area bc we know we can get A LOT more for our money here and the schools have a lot to offer because it is so big. Most of my neighbors are 30+ year residents. And they all have children that went or are still going through the district. They all have nothing but positive things to say.

If you're really unhappy then definitely think about moving. But don't do it just because greatschools.com says this district isn't good.

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

I grew up in MP and went to MP schools, my cousins grew up in Middle Island and went to Longwood.

We're all successful adults with jobs. We all got good educations.

A lot of what makes a district good is the parents and their involvement. We all were lucky that we have involved parents.

home buyers remorse.......kind of?

>>I'm constantly worried about making less than perfect life choices.

I totally know how you feel and am subscribing to this for my own mental issues.

Wife, me, DD, DS are currently stuck in a 1 bedroom apartment because we can't decide on a location to buy a house.

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

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Re: home buyers remorse.......kind of?

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Message edited 4/25/2020 5:09:48 AM.