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Are you a grudge holder?

Forum Opinion Poll
Till death do us part 33 40.24%
Sticks in my craw for a week or so 18 21.95%
a few hours and a glass of wine and i'm good 13 15.85%
i just keep it moving 17 20.73%
other 1 1.22%
 

Holding grudges

Posted By Message

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Holding grudges

How do you rate yourself on the grudge scale? Megalithic until the end of time or it all rolls off?

Of course it's all relative to the perceived infraction, but this is a general personality question.

Posted 10/29/17 9:43 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

8012 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

Posted by Mushesgirl

How do you rate yourself on the grudge scale? Megalithic until the end of time or it all rolls off?

Of course it's all relative to the perceived infraction, but this is a general personality question.



is this a psychological test lol because now im worried

Message edited 10/29/2017 9:49:08 PM.

Posted 10/29/17 9:48 PM
 

mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!

Member since 7/08

3324 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Holding grudges

This is hard for me to answer lol. For people who I love or even just like, I let it roll off, but people who I don’t like (like my in laws hah) I tend to hold onto grudges bc as soon as they do something new, I bring up everything stupid thing they have ever done lol.

Posted 10/29/17 9:51 PM
 

chilltocam
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

9141 total posts

Name:

Holding grudges

Somewhere between a week or so and death lol. Definitely longer than a week, but usually, I eventually get over whatever happened

Message edited 10/29/2017 9:53:04 PM.

Posted 10/29/17 9:52 PM
 

Disneygirl17
LIF Toddler

Member since 11/16

496 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

I am the queeeen of holding grudges. Like till long after the other person has forgotten about it.

Right now I’m bitter because my bil is on his 10000 Disney trip after crying broke when I suggested we plan a trip for next year with all the kids. Does it matter to them? Hell to the no but it still grinds my gears

Posted 10/29/17 9:53 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7979 total posts

Name:

Holding grudges

Yeah, my grandfather was the same way so maybe it's hereditary.

My SILs were jerks around the time we were getting married, figuring out how to spend our first holidays as a married couple, etc. (almost eleven years ago). I still pretty much ignore them.

Message edited 10/29/2017 10:25:53 PM.

Posted 10/29/17 10:25 PM
 

PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken

Member since 6/11

9145 total posts

Name:
Phyllis

Re: Holding grudges

Unfortunately for me, I can’t let things go. I mean, basic nonsense - whatever. I’ll be annoyed for a bit but get over it. But if it’s something that comes from someone who means or meant a lot to me? It’s there forever. I know it only hurts me to hold on to stuff. And I do try my best to move past things. Not easy though

Posted 10/29/17 11:00 PM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

Posted by hmm

Posted by Mushesgirl

How do you rate yourself on the grudge scale? Megalithic until the end of time or it all rolls off?

Of course it's all relative to the perceived infraction, but this is a general personality question.



is this a psychological test lol because now im worried



no i'm just over here knocking some stuff around!Chat Icon

Posted 10/29/17 11:14 PM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

Posted by MichLiz213

Yeah, my grandfather was the same way so maybe it's hereditary.

My SILs were jerks around the time we were getting married, figuring out how to spend our first holidays as a married couple, etc. (almost eleven years ago). I still pretty much ignore them.



Family stuff seems to be the hardest to let go. I would guess because you would hope that family would be the ones to not **** you over so when they do it hurts that much more (?)

So the heredity thing. I was pondering this.

My mother is the eternal grudge holder. My father couldn't give a shit about anything except a home cooked meal and some beach time; so I think i'm somewhat of a mix of each.

I'm actively working on not doing the grudge thing but it's very difficult, but getting easier as I get older. The aggravation is just not worth it, but some things you just can't let go of.

Posted 10/29/17 11:19 PM
 

SusiBee
. . . . .

Member since 3/09

8268 total posts

Name:
S

Re: Holding grudges

I stew for a little bit, then let it go.
As I get older, I've adopted a "whatever" attitude.
I just don't need the stress nor do I want to waste the time and energy it takes to hold the grudge.

DH stews and stews and stews, and it eats him up.
He's already had one heart attack from stress, I don't need him to have another. I keep telling him to let it go.

Posted 10/30/17 8:33 AM
 

Bugaboo
Relax!

Member since 5/05

2133 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

With my family I let it go after a few days and it's done. But with my in-laws I'll forgive but I never forget. They're crazy and the biggest hypocrites and they just never do the right thing.

Posted 10/30/17 9:25 AM
 

Funkybutt
LIF Adult

Member since 4/15

3049 total posts

Name:

Holding grudges

It depends on what happened, but I tend to hold grudges for a long time. There are family things that hurt my feelings and I let it go after a few days (even though it's still simmering below the surface and I get more mad later when they do something again). However, there have been things that happened with friends/exs that were a big deal (I was sleeping with a guy while he was sleeping with a married friend of ours and I didn't know it) - I cut them completely out of my life as soon as I found out what was going on.

Posted 10/30/17 9:42 AM
 

JME78
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

3672 total posts

Name:

Holding grudges

I don't hold grudges at all. I am easily able to let things go.

Posted 10/30/17 9:49 AM
 

MarathonKnitter
HAPPY

Member since 2/07

17374 total posts

Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE

Re: Holding grudges

i WISH i could let shit go!!!

i just can't forget. and then when they do something else, it just adds to the pain and insult of the first thing they did.

i'm working really hard on accepting people are assholes and moving on.

lol. like i look at the royal family and get upset for william and harry that their father re-married the woman who was the third wheel in their parents' marriage. then again, that situation stings because of my own parents' ******* up my life with their bull shit... but i digress

yeah, i hold on to things longer than i should.

Posted 10/30/17 10:07 AM
 

PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

7632 total posts

Name:
Momma <3

Holding grudges

I usually let things roll off my back.

There are a few grudges however that I am pretty sure will never die - lol

Posted 10/30/17 10:08 AM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Holding grudges

I don't hold grudges at all. With family I totally keep it moving. With good friends, I mean I can't think of anything HUGE where I have had it alter our friendship, maybe something that annoys me in the moment or for a short time but no grudge.

eta- I work w some people I don;t like or have people I dont like but thats not a grudge its just our personalities dont mesh and I stay away lol

Message edited 10/30/2017 10:13:43 AM.

Posted 10/30/17 10:13 AM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

Posted by SusiBee

I stew for a little bit, then let it go.
As I get older, I've adopted a "whatever" attitude.
I just don't need the stress nor do I want to waste the time and energy it takes to hold the grudge.

DH stews and stews and stews, and it eats him up.
He's already had one heart attack from stress, I don't need him to have another. I keep telling him to let it go.



So this is terrifying, that your dh has had a heart attack from stress. So sorry that happened to him. He has to let stuff go. it's literally deadly.

i think this is an important take away from this post that I wasn't really thinking about but so true nonetheless.

and judging by the poll we have a lot of grudge holders!!

This post helped me let something go and move on relatively quickly as compared to maybe years past. maybe we all can tryChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 10/31/17 7:09 PM
 

lightblue
LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

2249 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

I guess it depends on what it is but if it is something really bad then it stays with me.

Posted 11/1/17 12:45 PM
 

Salason

Member since 6/05

9878 total posts

Name:

Re: Holding grudges

All I need is some time to cool off (some longer than others depending on what happened) and a genuine apology and I forgive. I'm pretty easy going that way.

Posted 11/1/17 2:01 PM
 

Eunyboo
<3

Member since 7/12

4376 total posts

Name:
E

Re: Holding grudges

Posted by Salason

All I need is some time to cool off (some longer than others depending on what happened) and a genuine apology and I forgive. I'm pretty easy going that way.



This. I feel like as long as the person genuinely apologizes, I let it go. If they don't.. holding a grudge for life. LOL.

Posted 11/1/17 2:07 PM
 

Ellsey10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/15

614 total posts

Name:

Holding grudges

I think it really depends on the situation. I usually hold onto it for a few hours and then let it go. But, if your the evil girl from 9th grade who used to threaten to beat me up everyday (which she never ended up even trying to attempt to do) ... and even though it was 14 years ago... I'm holding onto that grudge until the grave lol!

Message edited 11/1/2017 3:00:33 PM.

Posted 11/1/17 2:59 PM
 
 

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