MIL vent

I usually don't like to do this but, my DH just told me that his Mother is planning on coming up form Florida Dec 14-29th. I am due Dec 17th and didn't really want her around for the birth. I really wanted her to come up after the birth. I know there isn't much I can do about it. I do love her dearly but, really don't want to see her for that long and I didn't want her around when I was in the hospital because she will try to take over with everything and I don't want that. I have already told my DH that she isn't coming in the birthing or labor room. She can stay in the visitor room. I only want my Mom to come in if she wants. He is going to try to convince her to come like the 18th since I could go a week late. I guess she wants to make meals for us so we don't have to cook but, I told my DH that we don't have have much freezer room and plus I have my Mom cooking also. Anything I can do?

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I'm so sorry!! That stinks. I guess she's staying with you that whole time???

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so sorry I know how you feel - I wouldn't want my MIL there either.

I pretty much told my DH that I really want the first week to be just us so we can figure things out ourselves and get into a routine. He agreed.

I also told him that at any time if I want MY mommy he can't take it personally - that women go through a lot and need someone they feel comfortable with to talk about womanly stuff and help with all the physical stuff that happens to my body after birth. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to his mom about those things. He understood and apparently spoke to his mom, b/c she said "just let me know when your ready for company."

She knows I let her come relatively soon after the birth, jsut not right away.

Good luck!

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You girls are in the same boat that I am. My MIL thinks she will be there for the whole birth. Since she lives like 2 minutes from the hospital, she could be there in no time.
I might want MY MOM there, but not my MIL. I love her to death, but there are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed....

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My MIL is not staying with us. She is staying at her parents house. Like I said I don't mind her being here, she is allowed since it is her Son but, I don't want her over everyday. The first week will be hard and my Mom said she would stay away but, I want her around since she is my Mom but, we will have to play each day as it comes. I want my DH and I to get use to everything and not have much interference. I don't intend to leave the baby alone when I am sleeping either. The baby will come with me even if there is company over. So, I guess we will see what happens. Thanks for all your replies. It makes me feel better that I am not the only one out there.

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Wow - I don't feel alone anymore - I am in the exact same boat. I am due on the 21st of December and that is the day that my MIL and FIL will be arriving from Italy to stay with us 16 days!! My FIL is great but my MIL for 16 days - God forgive me but I don't know what to do - better yet, they are staying with us in a very small two bedroom apt. and of course they will be staying in what should be the nursery room but that has been put on standby because we need to leave it as a guest room for his parents! So, my child will not have its own room until probably until February because we can't order the furniture until we can convert the guest room to the nursery and that won't happen until in-laws leave! I do appreciate that they are coming all the way here for us and to meet their first-born grandchild but to stay with us and like CDUNN said, I wanted to be able to spend some time with the baby just me and the baby and my DH especially because my mom is not here. My apt is so tiny and with Christmas it's going to be so cramped - and I refuse not to be able to put a Christmas tree up especially if in case it ends up being my child's first Christmas!

If you don't want her in the labor room your husband should understand that and respect your wishes - both my parents are deceased and it has always been difficult for me to deal with most especially since my mother is not around and I become very emotional when I think of them not being here to see me get married and now not being here to meet their first born grandchild - the last thing I want is to have my MIL their and taking notes (as that is her personality if you know what I mean). I kind of know how you feel and hopefully you will have the baby a week early so then you will have the opportunity to relax even if it just for a bit - GOOD LUCK with that and I wish you only the best!! maybe your mom can keep her busy a bit and take her out or something.

Thanks to this board I feel better now that I vented and got it out of me - I don't have the opportunity to vent to anyone and sometimes you just need to.

Again Good Luck - and hopefully it will not be so bad for all of us in the same boat!

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I hope it all works out.

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My DH totally understands where I am coming from and he knows how his MOther can be also which puts him in my corner. Everything will work out for the best.

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the only thing you can do is hope the baby doesnt come till after she leaves but then that means you have to stick it out even longer good luck

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I don't want the baby coming late but,I thought the samething. But then I realized she would stay longer.

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I have plently on MIL vents...but I try to look at the bright side...such as she is going to help where she can.

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If you come over and save me from mine, I'll do the same when your's arrives

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Well, it seems that my DH screwed up about the dates!! His Mom is coming up Dec 18 or 19 until the Dec 29th!!! I wanted to kill him after getting so worked up about this all! MEN

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if i were you id feel the same way..and when i had my baby i told everyone including my mom not to come to the labor room....you have a right to not want someone in your home especially the first week after giving birth, ...its you and your husbands time to be with the baby...(its nice that she wants to help, cant say i had much of it!!) Try to tell DH to keep convincing your MIL to come at least a few days after the baby is born..maybe your DH can tell her that there wont be much for her to do until after the baby is here. good luck!

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I hope she doesnt plan on staying with you too - you will need your time alone w/DH and the baby.

It sounds like she invited herself but maybe your DH invited her? I think its really intruding to do what she's doing...just me feellings about it - I dont have a relationship with my monster-in-law, because she is a But...if I were you I would tell DH to tell her that is not a good time for you...and if she does come up she cant stay with you guys. trust me, you're going to want to be alone with your new little family. Having your own Mom there is different...

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My MIL is deceased BUT DH's aunt and uncle live 5 doors down from us. I allready told DH that NO ONE is to come to the house from his side except for his aunt and uncle who live right up the block for 2 days. ONLY my parents. My mom and stepmom are nurses so I def want them there and of course my dad. DH's dad lives in fl and if he comes up he most certainly will be welcome too with my parents. But DH's family is too much and I dont want that right away. He agrees with me. Oha nd if his annoying sister comes up from fl- oh god - he allready knows how I feel- NO- wait 2 days until I, the baby and DH AND the pets ( 2 big dogs and 5 cats) settle in before the commotion of people in and out of the house!!!

As far as the labor room ONLY my mom and DH thats it! If my dad wants to come in great but no one else.

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Now, I have a new vent: she called my DH today to ask him if we could have the christing in April because everyone is coming up for her Father's ( DH's Grandfather's) honorary dinner for the fire dep. he is in! Who's kid is this? Mine or hers? CAN I HAVE THE BABY FIRST. I told him I am not making any plans until January and I have heard that our church only does two Sunday's a month. I might not even tell my DH or anyone if it does fall on that weekend. She is really starting to get to me and did this about our wedding date last year because her Niece was receiving first communion that day in Florida but we didn't change the date. I told my DH that when she calls I will talk with her about this and yes, I will be nice. What will be next?

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If it makes you feel any better, mine is calling everyone asking them if the 11th is ok with them. Like I'm going to change it if it's not

Tell her it's way too early to be thinking about these things. You have enough on your plate.

PS I've got a case of diapers for you that he seems to have outgrown

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Mine are going to be mad when I don't even tell them the date. I live OOS, and don't want more company for it. All they ever did was bash catholics anyway. And FIL was offended when he called to tell me he found the perfect gown and I declined wanting to pick out my own.

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Joanne: I can't believe she is doing that!!!! Sounds like my MIL with the wedding date.

Janice: My MIL asked me about the christening gown when I was first preggo! I told her my Mom and I have it under control. Plus, I don't like her style.

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I was thinking about it all last night. Just tell her that you don't want to wait that long to have the baby Baptized because:

1) Your family usually has it done right away

2) You don't know how long Fr. D will be feeling well enough to do it.