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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Ok... so I just thought of this bc my older DS's birthday is coming up. He'll be 8. Last year around his 7th birthday we went out to dinner so DH's aunt (my MIL's sister) came out with us along with my MIL. My younger DS was 4 at the time and going to be 5 soon.
She came over to our table and handed older DS a gift for his bday and then shortly after started to apologize for not bringing a gift for younger DS. I told her there's no need to apologize. It's NOT his birthday. He'll be 5 in a couple of months and will get something then. SHe told me her son and DIL give something for both kids on one of the kid's bdays. Nothing major, but something so that they can have a gift too and not feel left out. I thought that was a bit strange. My boys do not get jealous on the other's birthdays. They also know they can share some things and understand it's not their day. They are happy for their brother.
I should add last year her kids were 9 and 7 so they are not babies either.
Thoughts? Do you do something for both kids even if it's not their bday? His aunt said that the other grandmother started it when they were babies and do it every year.
Message edited 4/27/2017 7:09:26 AM.
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Posted 4/27/17 7:08 AM  |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Not necessary imo, but my family does it for my kids too. We just had my 5yos birthday and my 2yo got a few small gifts (an outfit, a kaleidescope, some little dolls). They do still get jealous at their ages so it helps but at the same time they need to learn it's not always about them so life I said I don't think it's necessary at all. I think in part people just like an excuse to give gifts.
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| Posted 4/27/17 7:39 AM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
That is ridiculous. I only have one child, but I wouldn't even think to do that.
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| Posted 4/27/17 7:46 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
DC are going to be 14 and 11 next month. In 11 years, we've never given a gift to the non-birthday DC. Their birthdays are only a few weeks apart, but still, you only get a birthday gift on your own birthday.
DC get enough presents as it is. There's no need for them to get extra presents just because a sibling has a birthday.
Imagine if the Duggers did this! With 19+ kids, they would have to just buy an entire ToyRUs store... 
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| Posted 4/27/17 7:53 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
I actually count on my mom to do this. She gets something very small (like a costume pack of rings for my younger DD) or a superhero figure (for DS) when it is the other's birthday. It's really nice. They are 5 & 6. While they understand it's not their special day, they DO get jealous (even if they don't express it, it's human nature)... and they feel special when they get something small. I wouldn't want it from everyone though... one token present is perfect.
I'm sure that my sister and I got something small on each other's birthday. My parents are really into treating everyone fairly (they were not the "favorite children" growing up). It's actually made, IMO, my sister and I closer.
Message edited 4/27/2017 8:01:13 AM.
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| Posted 4/27/17 7:57 AM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
I actually get annoyed when people.bring a gift for my other kids on one of the others birthdays. Then they expect it from everyone and every year.
Message edited 4/27/2017 8:05:40 AM.
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| Posted 4/27/17 8:05 AM |
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Posted by luckysmom
I actually get annoyed when people.bring a gift for my other kids on one of the others birthdays. Then they expect it from everyone and every year.
I feel similarly. I don't get annoyed per se, because I know it's coming from a good place, but I want my kids to learn that you don't always get something just because someone else does. Life isn't fair and equal all the time. When it's your day, its your day, and when it's someone else's day, it's not yours, too.
I also feel like it takes away from the one who is supposed to be having the special day.
But to each their own, I don't think it's wrong that people do this, I just don't like it for my kids.
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| Posted 4/27/17 8:12 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Posted by LiveForMoments
Posted by luckysmom
I actually get annoyed when people.bring a gift for my other kids on one of the others birthdays. Then they expect it from everyone and every year.
I feel similarly. I don't get annoyed per se, because I know it's coming from a good place, but I want my kids to learn that you don't always get something just because someone else does. Life isn't fair and equal all the time. When it's your day, its your day, and when it's someone else's day, it's not yours, too.
I also feel like it takes away from the one who is supposed to be having the special day.
But to each their own, I don't think it's wrong that people do this, I just don't like it for my kids.
Yes. Totally agree. I'm fine if you want to do it for your family. Not necessary for my boys. They don't get jealous of each other. We were out at an amusement park or something one summer and DS1 won a prize so my MIL felt the need to buy something for DS2. I told her there's no need. He wasn't asking for one and thought it was cool his brother won. Then they got home and we never saw the cheap, piece of crap stuffed animal again. 
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| Posted 4/27/17 8:16 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
I hope this doesn't happen. My girls have/will have enough crap. They don't need more. Lol.
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| Posted 4/27/17 8:27 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
No I think that's silly. They need to learn and understand that they won't always get something when others do.
I will say though when a new baby is born and there are siblings already I do get the sibling especially if they are young something small so they don't feel left out and all the attention is on the baby. But I feel a new baby is a big adjustment to kids while a birthday they will get presents on their day and their siblings will get presents on their day.
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| Posted 4/27/17 8:45 AM |
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MrsMango
LIF Infant
Member since 8/14 231 total posts
Name:
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
growing up my mom did this. it was always something little for the other child. I do this with my nieces. Whoever's birthday it is gets the "big" gift and I get the other one a little something. They currently are 5 & 7. I'm sure once the older one is 10 this will stop. Sometimes it will be a little toy, this time it was matching dresses to her sisters bday gift. I'm pretty sure im the only one who does this for them and quite honestly I know it makes the older one feel special too and I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I know the older one understands its not her birthday. it's not about jealousy or anything else, it just a thought. to me its no different then visiting on a random day & bringing a little toy with me
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| Posted 4/27/17 10:30 AM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Posted by blu6385
No I think that's silly. They need to learn and understand that they won't always get something when others do.
I will say though when a new baby is born and there are siblings already I do get the sibling especially if they are young something small so they don't feel left out and all the attention is on the baby. But I feel a new baby is a big adjustment to kids while a birthday they will get presents on their day and their siblings will get presents on their day.
This I agree with I do the same with new babies. It is a huge adjustment.
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| Posted 4/27/17 10:54 AM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2912 total posts
Name:
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Sometimes my mom and sometimes one other relative does this. I wish they wouldn't because it sets expectations, and we get so much already.
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| Posted 4/27/17 11:30 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Posted by luckysmom
Posted by blu6385
No I think that's silly. They need to learn and understand that they won't always get something when others do.
I will say though when a new baby is born and there are siblings already I do get the sibling especially if they are young something small so they don't feel left out and all the attention is on the baby. But I feel a new baby is a big adjustment to kids while a birthday they will get presents on their day and their siblings will get presents on their day.
This I agree with I do the same with new babies. It is a huge adjustment.
Funny... my 2 picked out presents for baby and got a book each (big brother, big sister). They didn't "need" anything for the baby's birth (they were 3&5). But the birthdays do sting... even more so now at 5&6.
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| Posted 4/27/17 1:19 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
My mom has always done this - for my cousins growing up, etc. So both sets of grandparents do this on my kids birthdays (as do I).
nycgirl - I agree with you - it seems to sting more in the 6-7 range. My now 5 year old handled his older brother's b-day better than his older brother handled his.
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| Posted 4/27/17 2:07 PM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
Posted by blu6385
No I think that's silly. They need to learn and understand that they won't always get something when others do.
Yes this exactly.
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| Posted 4/27/17 2:26 PM |
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Tiggeruth
I am a mom :-)
Member since 6/06 3433 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
My kids birthdays are 10 days apart and they are 3 years apart. It sort of happens by nature that one will get something at the others birthday just how things fall with seeing family. I do try to keep things "even" a bit because the little guy always wants what his big sister has and she doesn't always like when he gets something and she doesn't.
But i would never and have never thought to get a sibling a present when its the others birthday.
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| Posted 4/27/17 2:37 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Gifts for all kids on a birthday?
I don't, but my MIL always sends us a gift for the birthday child, AND something for the non birthday child.
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| Posted 4/27/17 3:23 PM |
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