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journey22
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/13 374 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
With the holidays quickly approaching, this has been something I have been thinking about.. Dh is sort of close with his cousins and they all have kids. Every Christmas we end up exchanging gifts between our kids. It is getting to the point though where families are growing so we have more kids to buy for, and expenses on our end are tight. I have many teacher/daycare gifts to buy for between DS and DD, and DD's daycare just increased my weekly rate. Honestly I would rather just buy for our nieces and nephews. I voiced my concerns with Dh to see if this is something he can bring up to his cousins and he thinks I am being silly about this. Is there any tactful way to approach this? Or just suck it up?
Message edited 10/10/2016 11:04:42 AM.
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Posted 10/10/16 11:04 AM  |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Can you do a grab bag between the cousins? That way you're only buying for one? We do that with DH's siblings and my mom's side of the family.
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| Posted 10/10/16 11:16 AM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Be honest with family members. You may be surprised to find out that others feel the same way but did not know how to express it. We stopped doing this for cousins a long time ago because of cost.
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| Posted 10/10/16 11:36 AM |
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muffaboo
LIF Adult
Member since 12/10 3797 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Posted by MichLiz213
Can you do a grab bag between the cousins? That way you're only buying for one? We do that with DH's siblings and my mom's side of the family.
I was going to say the same thing. I have a very close group of friends that are like sisters, have been for 25 years. We all have young kids and we are up to 9 kids at this point. Last year, we decided that we will put the kids' names in a hat and then each of us will pick names out. We also set a price limit. This works for us because we will save money on less gifts and the kids will get a nice substantial gift rather than a bunch of smaller stuff. This saves the mom's money and saves space around the house for kids that already have too much!
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| Posted 10/10/16 11:42 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Just texted hubby this! There are so many people in his Fam and although we are ok financially, I know others are not and would never say anything. I also don't want to deal with the stress of shopping. There are no kids so it's just an hour of grown adults opening gifts. Most of us have registries/lists. Totally unnecessary. I'd rather just focus on spending time with everyone. Hopefully everyone will be on board with a secret Santa (even though half of them celebrate hannukah) I have a feeing a few people will be relieved.
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| Posted 10/10/16 11:49 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
I was going to suggest the secret santa - that way every kid gets one gift and it is not overboard on anyone's part. There are a few websites you can set up the exchange on and it makes it easy. We do this with our friends kids.
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| Posted 10/10/16 12:21 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
We just do kids and a grab bag for the adults. Easy peasy.
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| Posted 10/10/16 12:35 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
My family has expanded as well - between my cousins and myself there are 11 kids.
Those of us with kids pull names for however many kids we have (I have two kids, I pull two names). It makes it a lot easier.
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| Posted 10/10/16 12:59 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Grab bags work well. We do that with our extended family.
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| Posted 10/10/16 1:17 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
I totally agree, I hate the whole gift exchange thing. Be honest & opt out if you can. We don't exchange with my side of the family at all & it's such a relief. DH's side is so into it that we have no choice, but luckily it's just a few people so he picks out their gifts.
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| Posted 10/10/16 1:20 PM |
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Posted by ali120206
My family has expanded as well - between my cousins and myself there are 11 kids.
Those of us with kids pull names for however many kids we have (I have two kids, I pull two names). It makes it a lot easier.
We do this now too.
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| Posted 10/10/16 1:37 PM |
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hidingin1516
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1009 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
we deiciede to just buy the kids and a secret santa game for the adults. the adults don't need anything but we wanted to have fun lol. We buy a theme related gift and choose a number and in that order pick a wrapped gift in the end the last person gets to steal one
we just started this last year
Message edited 10/10/2016 1:47:31 PM.
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| Posted 10/10/16 1:47 PM |
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journey22
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/13 374 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Posted by drpepper318
I totally agree, I hate the whole gift exchange thing. Be honest & opt out if you can. We don't exchange with my side of the family at all & it's such a relief. DH's side is so into it that we have no choice, but luckily it's just a few people so he picks out their gifts.
Thank you. Yes, this is exactly how I felt as well when we stopped the exchange with my side of the family (my cousin brought it up). However with DH, he thinks I am being cheap by not wanting to exchange with his side... not that I am being cheap but money is tight and also the kids get SO much between their aunts/uncles/grandparents and "santa" that it's gift overload as is.
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| Posted 10/10/16 2:09 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
We started doing secret Santa for the kids and a grab bag for the adults. There are 15 kids and 35 adults so it was getting out of control.
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| Posted 10/10/16 9:49 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Posted by journey22
Posted by drpepper318
I totally agree, I hate the whole gift exchange thing. Be honest & opt out if you can. We don't exchange with my side of the family at all & it's such a relief. DH's side is so into it that we have no choice, but luckily it's just a few people so he picks out their gifts.
Thank you. Yes, this is exactly how I felt as well when we stopped the exchange with my side of the family (my cousin brought it up). However with DH, he thinks I am being cheap by not wanting to exchange with his side... not that I am being cheap but money is tight and also the kids get SO much between their aunts/uncles/grandparents and "santa" that it's gift overload as is.
I would bring it up from the point that all the kids are getting to much stuff and not the expense. Also the kids may have more of an appreciation for one gift than 10.
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| Posted 10/10/16 11:30 PM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
All of us first cousins so a secret Santa. On thanksgiving we pull the names and then you only buy for 1 person. Now that us cousins are starting to have kids we (the adult cousins) buy for the little ones but I think once there are a few more well let them do a secret Santa instead.
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| Posted 10/10/16 11:35 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Can you suggest a price limit on the gifts for the kids? Like maybe $10-15 to keep it reasonable, but at least each kid still gets a little something?
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| Posted 10/11/16 5:07 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
A couple of years ago we implemented a secret santa for the adults on my side. I actually just sent out a text yesterday to get the ball rolling. No one is forced to participate. We have a price limit of $75-100.
We buy for every kid, but they are still little. I guess we will need to revisit it once they get older. In my family growing up, there was a 21 year old cut off.
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| Posted 10/11/16 8:37 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Posted by jamnmore
Be honest with family members. You may be surprised to find out that others feel the same way but did not know how to express it. We stopped doing this for cousins a long time ago because of cost.
This! We would find ourselves broke during the holidays and for what? Once we were honest and stopped this it made the holidays enjoyable, not stressful or financially broke.
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| Posted 10/11/16 10:40 AM |
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EMC11709
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/10 484 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Not exchanging gifts, any tactful way to approach this?
Posted by lorich
Posted by jamnmore
Be honest with family members. You may be surprised to find out that others feel the same way but did not know how to express it. We stopped doing this for cousins a long time ago because of cost.
This! We would find ourselves broke during the holidays and for what? Once we were honest and stopped this it made the holidays enjoyable, not stressful or financially broke.
We also had a cut-off at 21. Now my Aunts and Uncles buy for the little kids, but we do a joint grab bag for the adults. There is a limit of $20, everyone gets a #, then whomever picks can choose to keep what they've picked once opened or steal from someone else.
My cousin also uses www.elfster.com to do a gift exchange with her friends.
Message edited 10/11/2016 1:03:06 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/16 1:02 PM |
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