Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

We have tossed around the idea of having a 3rd for such a long time m. First Dh wanted to have a 3rd right after my 2nd was born and I wasn't ready. Than when she turned 2 I wanted to go for a 3rd and Dh was reluctant. Now he wants to try for a 3rd. My youngest is almost 4 which means that she will be close to 5 when we would have another baby. I can't envision it. I loved the baby days, I didn't mind pregnancy, even the toddler years had its bright spots. I just don't know what it is. I feel old (I'm 33) and I feel like my girls are old now too. They play together so nicely on their own. After next year they will both go to school full time. Part of me longs for a 3rd but than I think its crazy. Than everyone always says "3rd put me/us over the edge". We're so busy with school activities and dance and swimmig. If you have 3 how is it? Do you feel like your 3rd gets the same amount of attention your older children got? How hard is it managing a baby with having hectic schedules for your older kids? Does having 3 make you feel crazy?

Re: Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

I dont have 3 yet but will in a few months....

I also have two girls - one 5.5 and another 4. I'm now pregnant with #3 and its a boy.

Part of the reason we waited was so that we didnt have 3 in daycare; we just couldn't afford it. But overall I had the same concerns you did about having two girls that were older and play so nicely together. Also, lets face it, it was nice being out of the newborn/baby stage and to have our lives back a bit.

That being said, I just didn't feel "done" so we went for #3. I did have a miscarriage at 18 weeks last year which pushed our timeline back a bit but I'm thrilled we'll have another one soon. On the positive side, my two girls are so independent and I feel like going from 2 to 3 will be a lot easier than it was going from 1 to 2. I could be totally wrong too!

I don't know what our lives will be like with #3 but figured I would share how we came to our decision to go for it.

Re: Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

I don't have that large of a gap; my first two are 1.5 years apart and then my 2nd and 3rd are 3.5 years apart, but I will answer nevertheless...

*The 3rd did NOT put us over the edge--I was already pushed over the edge with one But really, why does everyone say that? What does it mean? Life with kids is crazy, period.
*My girls were in full-time K and part-time nursery when little guy was born. That was awesome, actually. Had a lot of one on one time with him--#2 was the only kid that never got that. Poor middle child! Ha!
*Girls are in tons of activities; little guy is in tball only, seasonally. He's never had a choice since birth--always on the go with us. More of a hassle? Yes, but not impossible. He's 5 now and his first question after school is, "Do we have to anywhere today?"
*I have to say, the only thing I found very frustrating for the first couple of years is that I could no longer do things I was just starting to do alone with the girls: eating out, bowling, movies, etc.
*Last point: O.M.G...my 3rd gets more attention than pretty much any other member of the family! He is the apple of everyone's eye here and spoiled rotten

ETA: He's actually the little mascot wherever we go--the girls' friends love him too!!
Do it! Do it! Do it!

Message edited 1/27/2016 1:48:10 PM.

Re: Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

Posted by Eireann

I don't have that large of a gap; my first two are 1.5 years apart and then my 2nd and 3rd are 3.5 years apart, but I will answer nevertheless...

*The 3rd did NOT put us over the edge--I was already pushed over the edge with one But really, why does everyone say that? What does it mean? Life with kids is crazy, period.
*My girls were in full-time K and part-time nursery when little guy was born. That was awesome, actually. Had a lot of one on one time with him--#2 was the only kid that never got that. Poor middle child! Ha!
*Girls are in tons of activities; little guy is in tball only, seasonally. He's never had a choice since birth--always on the go with us. More of a hassle? Yes, but not impossible. He's 5 now and his first question after school is, "Do we have to anywhere today?"
*I have to say, the only thing I found very frustrating for the first couple of years is that I could no longer do things I was just starting to do alone with the girls: eating out, bowling, movies, etc.
*Last point: O.M.G...my 3rd gets more attention than pretty much any other member of the family! He is the apple of everyone's eye here and spoiled rotten

ETA: He's actually the little mascot wherever we go--the girls' friends love him too!!
Do it! Do it! Do it!

Re: Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

We don't have big age gaps (7,5,2) but we loved having 3 enough to go for a 4th . I don't think it's been any harder with a 3rd, except that she is dragged to a lot of stuff for the older two, but I'm sure that will even out as she gets older. We did notice the kids needed more one on one time with DH and I, but we do 1 late night a week and "date" nights with each of them a month, just so they get some individual attention. I say go for it! I've never heard of someone regretting having a child, but regretting not trying for another!

Re: Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

My kids are 7, 6 , and 4 months. Right now, the little guy acts as a third wheel when I take my other kids to all their activities. It's not bad right now since he's not mobile yet. I feel like the bigger age gap works in our favor- like when I'm running late in the morning, the older 2 can help feed the baby a bottle and play with him. They love him a lot and are happy to have a new sibling. With my first two, I had to deal with 2 in diapers and the whole 2 under 2 thing was hard. 1 diapers is not so bad!

There are some things that make me feel crazy right now though. Namely, the lack of sleep because of pumping milk at night and having a baby who doesn't always STTN (though he's good most nights). Also, I got comfortable with not having to lug a stroller, diaper bag, food, etc. and now I have to plan extra time to pack everything up whenever we go somewhere. I keep telling myself that it's all temporary until he gets older!

Bottom line- we haven't been pushed over the edge.

Message edited 1/27/2016 11:08:20 PM.

Re: Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

We have 4 boys 7,6,2 and 8 weeks. I think the hardest part of the larger age gap is losing some of the independence on activities you can do alone with the kids. On the other hand it does help that the older ones can help out a bit even just finding things or sitting with the baby while you are trying to get something done and baby wants entertainment.
I wouldn't let the fear of pushing you over the edge hold you back.

Good Luck

Moms of 3 especially if you have a big age gap between 2 and 3

we have 3. dd just turned 7, my son4 turning 5 in July, and my 7 month old dd.
My son, the middle child is such a handful- we think he might have adhd and he makes things challenging.
When we were debating on going for the 3rd, we couldn't possibly do it earlier bc of my son.
I am still new in the game and I find the challenging part is the school work. I try to do homework with my daughter with my baby on my lap and my son acting a fool all around us. he craves attention, so the moment I put the baby down, I turn to him and give him some one on one time.
look, I LOVE having 3 kids and wouldn't change a thing. even on the hardest days, I wouldn't change it but I am totally spread thin. thankfully, my oldest daughter in not needy with attention.

do it!! don't worry so much about the age gap- which might work to your advantage in many cases.
good luck