does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

DS is 5.... he's our only child, the only grandchild on BOTH sides---so he has no shortage of toys. everything you can imagine. BUT he never really will sit and play with them!
he VERY rarely just entertains himself... we always have to be sitting with him, playing with him, etc. he spends a crazy amount of time on the iPad watching youtube videos, because thats really the only thing that keeps him entertained/busy where we don't have to be involved.
I know part of it is that he's an only child, and its gotta be boring not having any other kids to play with. and also part of it is probably me :-/ we adopted him from Korea when he was almost 2... and i'm a speech therapist turned SAHM. so my instinct when he came to us was that i had to be "in his face" all the time to catch him up on English and speech--- because i knew everything would be easier if he could communicate with us. so he just got used to that i guess :-/
anyway- just needed to kind of vent because its exhausting!! HAHAHA and anybody have any good ideas on how to get their kids to entertain themselves independently?!?!

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

Does he have items geared for individual play?

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

My son is like that, he is 7 now. It came to the point that I told my sister stop buying toys. He would play with them for a few days and then nothing. Now he is into Legos - that's seems to catch his attention and we are going on a few weeks. He also liked the Qixels, drawing and coloring stuff.

Major only child syndrome lol

Message edited 1/13/2016 6:33:56 PM.

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

YUP

DD is 5 and has ZERO ability to just play. She has never had interest in toys, playing by herself, entertaining herself, etc.

I thought toys were a marketing scam until DS came along and sat there and played by himself for hours with toys.

She's into crafts and drawing but still wants me to sit there and draw next to each other... I tell her that it's perfectly fine to do it on her own!!

I have no idea how this happened.. sure, she's first born, but I never gave her 100% attention 24/7, yet that's what she'd like right now!

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

I would limit the amount of toys in front of him (he could be overwhelmed) and take away the ipad. What child doesn't choose the electronics (tv, video games, ipad, whatever) over a toy if given the option? My DD never has that option. She is an only child. Stays at home with me (and I dont drive) so she is really stuck at home with just me 24/7 and she is 3.5 and loves to play!! Sometimes she needs me, but I just force her to play by herself. Once they get over that initial struggle they do it. You learn to play, by being bored really. If he is never bored because you are entertaining him or electronics are entertaining him, he won't discover that play.

does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

This is the case with my DC too, who is also an only child and will turn 5 this year. Part of me feels so bad because I feel like DC is lonely and that's why I'm always being asked to play and participate ... but the other part understands that I don't need to be actively playing every single second when we are together and it doesn't make me a bad mom to let DC play independently.

I never wanted DC to be an only child, but we lost three pregnancies after and it's not going to happen. I have a lot of guilt about that too that comes into play.

Message edited 1/13/2016 10:35:34 PM.

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

My nephew, my brother's son, who is now fourteen. But it was the same situation. First grandson and only grandchild on both sides of grandparents... and the only child to my brother. So, he had literally five adults: myself, my brother, my sister, and two parents with him at all times. So, he grew up like a little adult. And he wanted adult company at all times. He didn't want to play with his toys alone -- he wanted us to do so with him. And he wanted to be sitting up at the table during dinner the whole time, and conversing with us, etc. It was HYSTERICAL. Like a little 30 year old trapped in a five year old body.

I don't know but I would attribute it to being the only kid and the family dynamic when he was raised -- here's the good thing: he's super smart, super independent and mature. All-around a great person now! So, that's good at least!!

I know it is hard though -- my son is the opposite and happens to play very well, alone, with his toys or whatever and stays happily occupied for such long periods of time. People always comment on his attention span and for this I'm SO LUCKY because as a single mom I'm always running around getting stuff done and I need him to be able to entertain himself.

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

Posted by ml110

DS is 5.... he's our only child, the only grandchild on BOTH sides---so he has no shortage of toys. everything you can imagine. BUT he never really will sit and play with them!
he VERY rarely just entertains himself... we always have to be sitting with him, playing with him, etc. he spends a crazy amount of time on the iPad watching youtube videos, because thats really the only thing that keeps him entertained/busy where we don't have to be involved.
I know part of it is that he's an only child, and its gotta be boring not having any other kids to play with. and also part of it is probably me :-/ we adopted him from Korea when he was almost 2... and i'm a speech therapist turned SAHM. so my instinct when he came to us was that i had to be "in his face" all the time to catch him up on English and speech--- because i knew everything would be easier if he could communicate with us. so he just got used to that i guess :-/
anyway- just needed to kind of vent because its exhausting!! HAHAHA and anybody have any good ideas on how to get their kids to entertain themselves independently?!?!

does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

My son was the same from the beginning, but we limited the time that we played with him b/c 1) we had other stuff to do and 2) he likes to play by bossing us around and that's not my idea of fun. I hated sitting on the floor and playing Thomas trains so I found something we'd both enjoy (board games).

DS is now into Legos and will play on his own with them - so that's been helpful. I agree with pp - definitely limit the ipad or any other electronic (TV, computer, etc). He has to learn how to play on his own - whether it's with toys, imagination (dress up), or just hitting a tree outside with a stick.

does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

My nephew is like this. My brother sets him up with a specific activity not just a toy. He buys a lot of science kits, art / crafts, etc.

Re: does anybody have a 4/5 year old who doesn't just play?!?!

My older DS was like that. I needed to constantly play with him and head up an activity or game- it was exhausting. He's still not super big on toys and he's 9 now. But he definitely got better with entertaining himself the older he got. Especially when he started getting into sports. He's very happy to go into the back yard and practice soccer or play football.
My little guy is WAY better at playing by himself- whether that be on his iPad or with toys. But on the flip side, I have to beg him to go play outside.