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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by cets1290
Posted by chilltocam
I wouldn't be happy a bout it at all. A few minutes late I can deal wth but HOURS???!!! No way. That means I've wasted my time waiting for her and could have done something else or made other plans. Other people wasting my time is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time, ok, I get it, things happen. But consistently - no. I'd stop making plans with her unless it was like a group going to a bar where people could show up whenever and no one was waiting for her to do something specific. What does your other friend think? (Sounds like she shows up to your house on time so is "stuck" waiting for her too?)
my big issue with it happening last night was that my father called and asked for a favor. I said i could not come over to help him out because i was expecting some guests. He was upset that I couldn't help. It all could have been avoided had i known they would be late, knowing I had 1.5/2 hours to spare in the meantime.
On a side note: I addressed the issue with my friend. I said that I don't mind if she is late, but that if she will get stuck at work in the future to just take the 20 secs to send me a text and say "stuck at work i'll be late." I explained the situation with my dad as an example of how time schedules can be very important to me. Needless to say, she was very upset and said she was going home because she is too stressed out to deal with it and does not need me to tell her how she should behave. So she left.
I think part of the issue is that she lives with her parents and does not/has not lived in her own place. Aside from her career, she does not have any responsibility. She does not pay any bills (cell phone and all are still paid for by parents), and I think the lack of responsibility she requires in her everyday life plays a part in the fact that she feels no need to be punctual.
One day she will understand... maybe!
SHE got upset with YOU?!?!?!?! YOU stressed her out?!?!?!?! I'd be livid! Sorry, but I don't have room in my life for people like that. She should have been apologizing to you, not getting defensive and turning it around on you, like you did something wrong. Completely immature and just all around wrong!
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Posted 12/3/15 10:10 AM  |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by Momma2015
As someone who is always late, that's insane!!! I'm always like 15 minutes late... to everything... but 2 hours?! I'd tell her not to even bother.
ETA: And her reaction is ridiculous- you were a lot nicer than I would've been!
Here is a question with NO flame at all.
Why are you late to everything 15 min?
Again, no flame at all. I would like to understand.
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| Posted 12/3/15 10:28 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
2 hours late is not 'running late' - I can understand getting stuck in a meeting and not being about to call until you're out and you're 'already' late - so the 6:10 thing wouldn't be a deal breaker - but then to say I'm going home to change and eat and I'll show up when I'm ready .....um, no, don't bother!
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| Posted 12/3/15 10:38 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by Paramount
Posted by Momma2015
As someone who is always late, that's insane!!! I'm always like 15 minutes late... to everything... but 2 hours?! I'd tell her not to even bother.
ETA: And her reaction is ridiculous- you were a lot nicer than I would've been!
Here is a question with NO flame at all.
Why are you late to everything 15 min?
Again, no flame at all. I would like to understand.
Honestly, I'm bad at time management. I always think it'll be quicker to get there than it really is or that I'll get something done faster than I do. I even try to "trick" myself into thinking I need to be a half an hour early and I STILL wind up late somehow. I've been getting better though! Someone new I've been working with even commented about my "promptness" and I was like... what? ME?  
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| Posted 12/3/15 11:09 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Paramount
Posted by Momma2015
As someone who is always late, that's insane!!! I'm always like 15 minutes late... to everything... but 2 hours?! I'd tell her not to even bother.
ETA: And her reaction is ridiculous- you were a lot nicer than I would've been!
Here is a question with NO flame at all.
Why are you late to everything 15 min?
Again, no flame at all. I would like to understand.
Honestly, I'm bad at time management. I always think it'll be quicker to get there than it really is or that I'll get something done faster than I do. I even try to "trick" myself into thinking I need to be a half an hour early and I STILL wind up late somehow. I've been getting better though! Someone new I've been working with even commented about my "promptness" and I was like... what? ME?
This is me too. I try so hard to be on time or early to things, but I always mis-judge how long things take. I think "I can get ready in 20 minutes" and in reality it takes me 30. Or "Okay...it takes 15 minutes to get there from home" when in reality it takes 25 or I don't account for hitting traffic. I'm perpetually late for things because of that. It drives my DH batty because he is ALWAYS early for everything.
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| Posted 12/3/15 11:31 AM |
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Do you think it is appropriate..
She is rude. And after her response, I would be hesitant to invite her over anymore. She is being ridiculous!
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| Posted 12/3/15 11:38 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
2 hours on a regular basis is a little extreme. If she often gets out of work late she should probably plan for that.
I agree its rude, but to blame it on the fact that she lives with her parents in her mid twenties (so what like 24/25?) is just silly. I lived in my parents basement until I was 25. So did most of my friends. None of us were married or owned homes and starting a family wasn't even on our radar. So, she's rude for sure but I don't see how any of those things fit into the equation.
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| Posted 12/3/15 11:48 AM |
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cets1290
LIF Adult
Member since 6/14 1051 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by LuckyStar
2 hours on a regular basis is a little extreme. If she often gets out of work late she should probably plan for that.
I agree its rude, but to blame it on the fact that she lives with her parents in her mid twenties (so what like 24/25?) is just silly. I lived in my parents basement until I was 25. So did most of my friends. None of us were married or owned homes and starting a family wasn't even on our radar. So, she's rude for sure but I don't see how any of those things fit into the equation.
not about the fact that she lives at home, but I sometimes feel that her home situation and the lack of responsibility has an affect for sure. I have friends who live at home, but they are accountable for the gas in their car and other expenses that she is not help accountable for. Sometimes I feel she takes certain things like money and time management for granted because they aren't a huge priority in her life
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| Posted 12/3/15 12:09 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Do you think it is appropriate..
2 hrs on a regular basis.....I would probably never make plans with her.
Running late because of work can happen but the dinner and going home to change.....I probably would have said hey I can't make it or came right from work and stopped for pizza or something.
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| Posted 12/3/15 12:10 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by LuckyStar
2 hours on a regular basis is a little extreme. If she often gets out of work late she should probably plan for that.
I agree its rude, but to blame it on the fact that she lives with her parents in her mid twenties (so what like 24/25?) is just silly. I lived in my parents basement until I was 25. So did most of my friends. None of us were married or owned homes and starting a family wasn't even on our radar. So, she's rude for sure but I don't see how any of those things fit into the equation.
its not that she is living at home its the fact that she has no responsibilities. when you are in your mid/late 20's you should be having some sort of responsibility which is why I asked her age. there is no reason she doesn't pay her own bills. i would be embarrassed if i had a job and my parent were still paying my cell phone and other bills when I was in my mid/late 20's.
without knowing her and judging based on her response alone I would think she sounds like a spoiled brat who expects everything and everyone to accommodate her.
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| Posted 12/3/15 1:21 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
If she texted you at 6:10 saying she'd be there at 8, you should've written back saying, sorry that's too late for me tonight. And then called your dad and helped him.
Is she wrong? Yes. But it sounds like she's always late so you shouldn't be so surprised by it.
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| Posted 12/3/15 2:38 PM |
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
Posted by cets1290
Posted by chilltocam
I wouldn't be happy a bout it at all. A few minutes late I can deal wth but HOURS???!!! No way. That means I've wasted my time waiting for her and could have done something else or made other plans. Other people wasting my time is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time, ok, I get it, things happen. But consistently - no. I'd stop making plans with her unless it was like a group going to a bar where people could show up whenever and no one was waiting for her to do something specific. What does your other friend think? (Sounds like she shows up to your house on time so is "stuck" waiting for her too?)
my big issue with it happening last night was that my father called and asked for a favor. I said i could not come over to help him out because i was expecting some guests. He was upset that I couldn't help. It all could have been avoided had i known they would be late, knowing I had 1.5/2 hours to spare in the meantime.
On a side note: I addressed the issue with my friend. I said that I don't mind if she is late, but that if she will get stuck at work in the future to just take the 20 secs to send me a text and say "stuck at work i'll be late." I explained the situation with my dad as an example of how time schedules can be very important to me. Needless to say, she was very upset and said she was going home because she is too stressed out to deal with it and does not need me to tell her how she should behave. So she left.
I think part of the issue is that she lives with her parents and does not/has not lived in her own place. Aside from her career, she does not have any responsibility. She does not pay any bills (cell phone and all are still paid for by parents), and I think the lack of responsibility she requires in her everyday life plays a part in the fact that she feels no need to be punctual.
One day she will understand... maybe!
Is she 17?
because she sounds like she is 17.
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| Posted 12/3/15 4:02 PM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Do you think it is appropriate..
No. Its a pet peeve of mine. Once in a while and for a short period of time is ok but its unacceptable to be habitually late. My time is valuable and to think otherwise is completely disrespectful.
I dont understand how some can even joke about always being late. Its not funny when it cuts into someone elses time. Every minute waiting on someone is a minute away from my kid, husband or family. I don't take that lightly.
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| Posted 12/3/15 4:06 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 8016 total posts
Name:
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Do you think it is appropriate..
I don't think the fact she lives at home is what causes her to be late. She gets to work on time I assume or she would have been fired.
It is just rude behavior, once to happen is fine, not 2 hrs late. Perhaps next time set the time for 7 Pm this way she does not have to rush from work
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| Posted 12/3/15 6:03 PM |
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