Nursing Home Information

Thank you everyone... We found out where she is... My other Aunt called my cousin and asked and she finally gave her the information.

Message edited 8/22/2015 12:28:28 PM.

Re: Nursing Home Information

This is a touchy thing obviously because of the privacy laws and the wishes of the next of kin but i'm not a lawyer, just have seen things like this in working in healthcare.

Decades ago I was looking for a lost uncle in a nursing home, and all I knew was that he was in Brooklyn. So I just got the list and starting cold calling and found him. They did tell me he was there but this was before HIPAA even existed.

Your cousin may have informed the staff that they are not to inform anyone that she is there and since she is the next of kin she has that right. As far as I know she can also restrict visitation (i.e. if you do find out where your aunt is, your cousin may have informed the staff that so and so is not allowed to visit).

I'd start with calling around to the nursing homes in the area you think she may be.

Best of luck, sorry for this situation.

eta: that uncle I was looking for was 'hidden' there from the family by his crazy daughter who also didn't want anyone to know where he was, but I guess she never thought that anyone would just start poking around to find him.

Message edited 8/2/2015 2:42:55 PM.

Re: Nursing Home Information

I agree with PP.

You could also try the social work depts. They are often in tune with the family dynamics.

Be advised though that it may take some time for them to get back to you.

Also as far as I know, you just need to present ID to go visit someone in most facilities.

Some are better than others, but I've wandered around many lost and barely had anyone ask me who I was, let alone if I needed assistance finding a patient.


Also if she doesn't have much, especially in terms of support and finances, often some facilities are more known for taking these kinds of cases (A Holly Patterson comes to mind in Nassau and Avalon Gardens in Suffolk).

Re: Nursing Home Information

Re: Nursing Home Information

I work in a nursing home in Queens, and usually if you call any nursing home and ask security for the patient's room number, they'll tell you.

ETA: list of nursing homes in Nassau:

http://nursinghomes.nyhealth.gov/searches/county/30

Message edited 8/3/2015 3:49:45 PM.

Re: Nursing Home Information

Nursing Home Information

Just a heads up from someone on the other side of this kind of issue. My mother has dementia and is in memory care assisted living. While she is allowed visitors, we have had people who took it upon themselves to visit who confused and upset my mother very much and in turn made us very upset. This was someone we specifically did not tell where my mother was placed and she figured it out on her own and just went. I understand it is family in your situation. My mother also has family she is estranged from. If one of those family members went to visit her behind my back, I would not take it well. In the end, you need to do what's best for you but just know your cousin might not forgive you and this may only make things worse. Plus your aunt might not know who you are and might get confused, scared, angry, etc. It might be fine but be prepared for the worst case scenario just in case. Dementia is very unpredictable. Best of luck to you and your family.

Re: Nursing Home Information

Re: Nursing Home Information

Thanks for all the help and information.

Message edited 8/22/2015 12:29:37 PM.