Advice on how to get my dd past this

My dd is 2.5 she started dance in September. She loved it, loved going, listened to the teachers, always participated in everything. She always went into class without me and I would watch from the window. After December break she started freaking out. She wanted me to go into class with her which I have. Than she would want to stay out of the class. So we would stay out in the hall but than she would start crying she wanted to go into class. I open the door and than she plays a game going in and out of the class. Sometimes she goes in and dances while I sit inside the classroom and watch and sometimes she just sits on my lap and watches. Last week she really had a big fit. She wanted to go in but kept refusing every time I would open the door. I eventually had to take her home because she kept opening the door step 2 feet into the classroom and than slam the door. She was very distracting. She screamed the whole ride home that she wanted to go back to dance and than she told me she is never going back again.

When she comes home from dance she wants to listen to her dance recital song and she knows the whole dance and loves it. All week leading up to class she tells me she is going to be a big girl and doesn't want me to go in the classroom with her. Than every week she is all hyped to get to dance and soon as they open the door to let the girls in she starts freaking out.

Some of what I think gets her upset is that there are a few teenage helpers in the class who makes a huge deal over her. They constantly telling her how cute she is and oooh and awwing over her. She is shy but self aware. She tells me "I don't like that I was crying at dance and everyone looked at me". So I think she has some sort of embarrassment going on.

At this point I don't know what to do. She says she wants to go to dance but I don't want to keep taking her to dance and have her throw tantrums and distract everyone. I don't know how to calm her down and help her just go back to dance and have her feel comfortable again. She really loves to dance and she is really good at it. I want her to have a good time.

I know this is a small thing in her life. I just want to do what is best for her. I want to help her through this. She is very bright and you can reason with her I just don't know what to do or say.

Message edited 3/5/2015 7:47:39 PM.

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

Tough. I'd maybe take a week or two off. You can watch videos of her dancing and others on you tube etc and give her positive reinforcement about how fun it is. Maybe after a break she will get back into it?

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

I don't have any real advice because I'm going through the same exact thing with my 4 year old. We had a few cancelled classes in a row because of the snow and when we came back, she started freaking out. It always seemed like she enjoyed it. She is shy and self-aware too. Most the kids in her class did it last year, so they not only know what they're doing, but they also know each other. I suspect that might be part of it.

I keep reading her Angelina Ballerina books at bedtime, but I decided this week that I will just drop it and see if she brings up going again. I'm really not sure what to do either.

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

I'm a dance teacher, so here is my take. If your dd is in and out of the classroom, then yes, she is distracting the whole class. The teacher is being patient, which is exactly what I would do given your DD age. But there's only so long you can allow this to go on. I would do two things. First I would recruit one of the assistants to give you a hand, but only one. Too many assistants will seem overwhelming. Second, prep your DD beforehand and let her know that she is going in to dance class. Explain that if she cries or walks out of the dance room then you are going home. Period. And follow through. No second chances.
I am a firm believer in not forcing kids to do something they genuinely don't want to do, especially at such a young age. When they're older it's a little different because you can teach the lesson that when you commit to something you need to follow through. But that's not a lesson a 2.5 year old can grasp.

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

Advice on how to get my dd past this

I went through something very similar with my dd a couple months ago, shortly after she turned 2. She also loved dance class, then all of a sudden she started crying for me to come in the room with her. As long as I was in the room, she would go back to participating with the class for the most part. But she wouldn't let me leave the room to go back to watching thru the window. As soon as I would leave she'd throw a fit. Her teacher suggested that instead of coming in the room as soon as she started crying, to give it a few minutes and see if she'd stop crying on her own. She said this because she knew how much my dd loved dancing and dance class. So the next class I watched her cry in the corner for the first 5 or 10 min of the class but then she stopped crying and joined the class for the rest of the session. The next week she cried for less time a and the following week, even less crying. After a few weeks she went back to happily running into the classroom and she stopped expecting me to go into the room with her. So basically it was kind of like doing Cry It Out, except with dance class instead of sleep. And I only did it that way because that is what her teacher suggested. Otherwise I would have felt like dd was being a big distraction crying so much. But her teacher was great about it and said she sees it all the time. If your dds teacher has a minute before or after class, maybe ask her how she would like you to handle the situation. Good luck!

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

If she doesn't stay and participate, I wouldn't give anymore second chances. She either goes and dances like a big girl or goes home, after a couple weeks she'll either be back to dancing or you take her out, she's not ready. Jmo

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this

Re: Advice on how to get my dd past this