Moms with social issues

I've akways had problems fitting in with groups of women because I can be shy and I know I can come off socialy awkward. If you are in a similar position, how do you stop this from impacting your children? My daughter is in preschool and does well socially but my son who is 19 months still depends on me to make plans with other moms who have kids. We get together with other moms and their kids sometimes and then I never hear from them again. It's something im trying to work on and I'm wondering if anyone else has overcome social awkwardness or social anxiety and gotten better in these situations.

Re: Moms with social issues

I think a lot of people feel like this at times. Socializing doesn't always come easy for a lot of people. I try not to think about things too much because you can read into them and take it personally when its not always the case. Have you tried to reach out to the moms to see if they would like to make plans again? Maybe they are thinking the same thing about you (that they haven't heard from you again). You can reach out to them and try to make plans and if you don't get a response... Oh well... Don't take it personally. I'm sure there are others who would love to have playdates. Just keep participating in social setting with your son. Playgroups, Mommy and me, etc. You'll meet people who are looking to have playdates and socialize.

I think its normal for your 19-month-old to rely on you to make plans.

Re: Moms with social issues

If you're saying you're not hearing from them again and think the kids had fun together, I'd reach out again. As the pp said, maybe they feel the same or maybe they're just busy. I would stay in the mindset that you're doing this for your child, not for yourself. I don't go to these things expecting to make friends, I just chat politely to pass the time and hope my child is having fun.

Re: Moms with social issues

Posted by Lilmc14



I think its normal for your 19-month-old to rely on you to make plans.

Message edited 3/1/2015 9:31:27 AM.

Re: Moms with social issues

Posted by MrsGr81

Posted by Lilmc14



I think its normal for your 19-month-old to rely on you to make plans.

Thanks I know thats normal.

I think what i was trying to say is I have a hard time socializing myself and if moms don't want to be around me it means less socializing for my son. We don't have a group of close friends.

I'm honest with myself and I know I can come off quirky. I have a problem with oversharing when I get nervous and say embarrassing things by mistake. Or I accidentally say something that comes off offensive even though I don't mean it. I know I can be awkward around people who don't know me. I Have always struggled socially. I wish I could change it but I don't know how.

Wanted to add that I felt this way with my daughter too but but really motivated now to change my ways.

Re: Moms with social issues

Message edited 3/1/2015 12:57:38 PM.

Re: Moms with social issues

Posted by MrsGr81

Posted by Lilmc14



I think its normal for your 19-month-old to rely on you to make plans.

Thanks I know thats normal.

Re: Moms with social issues

What about joining a group on meetup? There are a lot of ones geared towards moms.

Re: Moms with social issues

Re: Moms with social issues

I'm the opposite.

Outgoing and some of the other moms seem to dislike my bubbly, outgoing demeanor. I just don't fit in. I try and I go to playgrounds and such with my son - I always try to engage other people, and I always end up on the other side of the playground alone while the five other moms talk in a group. They surely don't want me around.

Stinks for my son. But he enjoys himself anyway.

I tried a gymboree type thing - didn't work very well either.

And now I'm a single mom - that made it WORSE.

I thought it would make it better. Wrong.

Message edited 3/2/2015 12:10:58 PM.

Moms with social issues

I think it is totally normal to be weirded out by the whole process. You are basically dating. lol.
I am always impressed by those who seem so at ease when meeting new people.
I joined a mommy and me program at a local school where it's basically like an intro to school for them. It's only 1 hour once a week but that's perfect and it gives you a chance to chat with the other parents without the pressure of arranging it and who calls who for another play date. etc.

I am always down for meeting people at the park or wherever. I just think I would be more hesitant to exchange info right away. Maybe after a few chance meet-ups.

Moms with social issues

Reach out again. I think as we all get older making friends is difficult whether you are shy or outgoing. As pp said I'm outgoing and I think some people are turned off by that. I try and strIke up conversations with people at parks and such.

Re: Moms with social issues