Non parent- Have a baby question

I was under the impression that an infant/baby sleeping in the bed with parents is VERY dangerous. Mostly because they should not be in a bed with lots of "soft" things.

My friends just stayed over for a few days. Their 4 month old was sleeping in their bed with them the whole time. That's where the baby sleeps at home as well.

So just curious because this NON mom was under the impression that was a huge no no.

I didn't say anything to them. I don't know anything and would never "correct" a mother being a mom.

Non parent- Have a baby question

My Lactation Consultant with Le Leche League said if the baby is nursing, it can be the safest place for a baby, if done correctly. The baby will not wander far from the mother and usually will not try to roll or get into trouble. That's if done correctly though, theres a list of things that's makes it work including away from the father and the position you sleep in so you cant really roll. This is a very hot discussion topic and most people feel one way or the other so its hard

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

I agree with PP, it is a hot topic. I feel like people are either totally ok with it or totally against it.
As for my situation:
My DD slept in her pack n play (next to our bed) until she was 6 months, since then she has been sleeping with us in bed. She just never liked the crib and this is what worked for us.
I have heard horror stories about co-sleeping and have also heard about all the benefits of doing it.

Non parent- Have a baby question

I think it is a matter of choice. There are people for and against a lot of things. And for every positive story you hear, you will hear a negative one. DS has always slept in his own bed - bassinet then a crib. He is 3 now. Sometimes he wants to lay in our bed with us. He has sometimes woken in the middle of the night and we try to bring him in bed with us. He can not sleep with us. He will just lay there, eyes wide open, totally still. We eventually bring him back to his crib. I wish we had the ability to just curl up and go to sleep with him sometimes.

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

Message edited 1/12/2015 1:26:29 PM.

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

It's a controversial topic.
In LOTS of cultures, parents sleep with their kids.
We *mostly* don't.

Non parent- Have a baby question

Both are kids sleep with us , in our culture it's strange for them to sleep alone.. Once they are bigger they sleep alone... Maybe 7 or 8 .. And the kids slept with us from day 1 of birth

Non parent- Have a baby question

All fair answers and I appreciate the responses.

I just wanted to get peoples take since MY impression was it could be dangerous. Now I know a little better :)

Non parent- Have a baby question

It can be dangerous. When I wanted the baby next to me I had a pack n play or bassinet

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

its consider dangerous by some and not dangerous by others.

every thing esp. baby relate is a hot topic cause a lot of people feel what the do is right and what others do is wrong.

organic vs non organic
cereal in a bottle vs no cereal in a bottle
breastfeeding vs non breastfeeding
(new one for me) propping bottles vs not propping bottles
sending your kid to prek - vs not sending them

the list will go on forever


I just follow the rule you do what you do with your baby and I do what I want with mine.

though i will say i still voice my opinion on subject but that's it i don't push and tell the other person they are completely wrong. i am big on car seat safety so i voice my opinion on those but i still don't tell someone they are completely wrong cause its their kid their choice

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

I personally couldn't imagine having a good night's sleep with a baby next to me, thinking I or my dh would roll over on it.

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

I know we'd roll over our kid. Well, DH would. lol They make co-sleeping basinets which are safe. My friends kids slept in a bouncy seat in the middle of her bed. Although I haven't heard many stories of SIDS and many ppl do this.

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

as long as it is done correctly and safely, with intention, cosleeping is perfectly fine. as a nursing mom, ive been cosleeping on and off with my twins since birth. here is a good link


http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/cosleeping-safely


eta most of the tragic stories you have heard about cosleeping relate to parents who have fallen asleep without properly preparing a safe space. on the couch (worst place to cosleep with a baby), or with a drunk parent, unsafe bedding, etc.

Message edited 1/12/2015 2:47:08 PM.

Non parent- Have a baby question

I know that some moms do it, especially if breastfeeding, and have been since the beginning of time. But I was too nervous because of the warnings I've heard. I was afraid I would roll onto dd or that she'd fall off the bed. Also we have a memory foam mattress topper, so it was way to soft and squishy to be safe for a newborn. But if I have another baby I would like to get one of those bassinets that attach to the side of the bed to make it easier to breastfeed throughout the night.

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

WOW!

Is this a Drama free post?
Did we come so far!!!

I was expecting

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

With my first I was pretty against it. Well, not so much against it as I was too afraid. My BFF co-slept with both her boys and I know I asked her more then once how she did it - I was so afraid I'd roll over and suffocate DS. But, he also didn't nurse long and he STTN on his own from around 9 weeks in his bassinet and around 4 months he was in his crib in his own room.

Then along came DS#2. And he nursed all the time. And he did not like to sleep. And I was so tired and I couldn’t even go sit in the rocker in the nursery b/c DS#1 was in there so I’d nurse DS#2 in bed sitting up. When he was done/fell asleep, I’d bring him back to his PNP/bassinet in our room. But he wouldn’t stay asleep. And it seemed like we never slept. So, I’d find myself accidentally falling asleep with the baby on my chest. Then I learned to nurse on my side. I’d keep pillows and blankets away and we’d all just sleep (for the hour or so he’d let us.)

It was completely NOT my plan. But, sometimes, you do what you have to do. And, as a PP said, the lactation consultant said it was safe and after reading up a lot on it, I felt ok enough about it – though it still wasn’t my ideal. But then…..getting him out of my bed….UGH!!!

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

Re: Non parent- Have a baby question

We did it a few times (maybe 5 times) when DS was younger (maybe around 6 months old) & was having an especially rough night (teething or something) & no other soothing technique worked, we'd bring him in bed with us... we'd have the intention of moving him out of the bed once he fell asleep but we'd be so tired we'd end up falling asleep too. He'd sleep in between us... but we didn't rest well at all because the whole night even in my sleep I was totally aware of him being right there & I'd be too nervous to move... DH said it was the same for him. Nothing bad ever happened but I wouldn't recommend doing it regularly, for lots of reasons, safety & also I'd imagine the baby would get used to it & come to expect it. When DS got closer to a year old, he'd move around way too much in his sleep & it was impossible to have him sleep in bed with us ever. For the first 9 or 10 months, DS slept in our room every night anyway, so even if he wasn't in our bed, he was right next to our bed in his pack n play. We finally moved the pack n play to another room & then he finally started sleeping in his crib in his own room around 11-12 months old.

Message edited 1/12/2015 8:20:33 PM.