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do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
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do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
I was visiting w/a friend today, who was meeting my newborn DD for the first time. We were at a sandwich place, and while my newborn was sleeping (of course), there were two toddlers in strollers, one which was screeching in a high pitched voice...not THAT disturbing...yes it was mildly annoying, but the mom was paying attention to child and tried stopping her but honestly, it was something to ignore
my friend, while we kept talking, kind of gave dirty looks in that direction (don't know if she realized she was even doing this)
Now I understand, that kinda stuff happens when you have kids out in public and others shouldn't be so quick to judge/get annoyed etc...I mean they can, but I think its kinda pizzy and unrealistic for them to give dirty looks like that....
When my DD kind of had a crying fit in Target yesterday as I tried to leave, I was slightly embarrassed, but I didn't look around for the "dirty looks"
Now I wonder what some of my friends think of me when stuff like that happens...
I don't know, just something I noticed, and I feel like unless you're a parent, you shouldn't be so quick to judge other parents
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Posted 8/26/09 11:18 PM  |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Sorry, I'm a parent and I still give looks when I hear a toddler screeching while I'm eating. Not because I think anything bad of the parent, but because I'm trying to eat and have a conversation and there's a toddler screeching. I mean, I give my OWN kid looks when she's doing stuff like that. I full on expect that kids are going to make noise and be screeching in stores and restaurants, but it doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face about it. I can think it's annoying without judging the parent, KWIM? And again, I'm fully aware that there are plenty of times where MY kid is the one getting looks, but whatever. Such is life, right? So long as I try to take care of it, let the dirty looks come, doesn't bother me.
Now, when it comes to small babies, I don't even mind that at all, to be honest because they're just babies, what do they know? It's how they communicate their needs. Don't worry what your friends think, I'm sure they're not judging you, and if they are, they can get over themselves. Babies cry, toddlers and kids shriek and whine and people will look and stare. It's just a fact and it's really not a big deal what anyone thinks.
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| Posted 8/26/09 11:30 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
We don't have many non-parents but before I was a parent, I used to think "Geez, can't you control that kid?". Now for the most part I think "That poor mom. Glad it's not me."
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| Posted 8/27/09 6:15 AM |
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longford73
Welcome to the world Baby Boy!
Member since 8/06 3127 total posts
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by nrthshgrl
We don't have many non-parents but before I was a parent, I used to think "Geez, can't you control that kid?". Now for the most part I think "That poor mom. Glad it's not me."
Oh was that you giving me the sympathetic look in Waldbaums the other day.  
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| Posted 8/27/09 8:43 AM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by prncsslehcar
Sorry, I'm a parent and I still give looks when I hear a toddler screeching while I'm eating. Not because I think anything bad of the parent, but because I'm trying to eat and have a conversation and there's a toddler screeching. I mean, I give my OWN kid looks when she's doing stuff like that. I full on expect that kids are going to make noise and be screeching in stores and restaurants, but it doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face about it. I can think it's annoying without judging the parent, KWIM?
I find this a little surprising, I can understand getting slightly annoyed if it goes on for a long time, but as you said kids are going to make noise. Giving a look isn't going to change the behavior of the child, it will only make the mother feel judged. I think it would be more encouraging to give the mother a look of sympathy than to give the child a look of displeasure. After all, we have all been there and know frustrating it can be 
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| Posted 8/27/09 9:18 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by NinaLemon
Posted by prncsslehcar
Sorry, I'm a parent and I still give looks when I hear a toddler screeching while I'm eating. Not because I think anything bad of the parent, but because I'm trying to eat and have a conversation and there's a toddler screeching. I mean, I give my OWN kid looks when she's doing stuff like that. I full on expect that kids are going to make noise and be screeching in stores and restaurants, but it doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face about it. I can think it's annoying without judging the parent, KWIM?
I find this a little surprising, I can understand getting slightly annoyed if it goes on for a long time, but as you said kids are going to make noise. Giving a look isn't going to change the behavior of the child, it will only make the mother feel judged. I think it would be more encouraging to give the mother a look of sympathy than to give the child a look of displeasure. After all, we have all been there and know frustrating it can be
I don't give a dirty look, but I certainly do look to see where the sound is coming from, and yes, if it's going on for a long time, I find it annoying. I didn't mean to say that the second a kid makes noise I'm annoyed. That's not it at all, my point was more that sometimes your kid IS going to annoy other people, and even ME who completely UNDERSTANDS how it is can get annoyed. You just can't control how people respond or think about it and so, imo, it's not worth worrying about. Trust me, I'm not going around shooting every noisy toddler a dirty look. I would like to think people know me better around here by now! But I'm also not going to lie and say that a screeching kid doesn't annoy me after a while.
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| Posted 8/27/09 9:36 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by nrthshgrl
We don't have many non-parents but before I was a parent, I used to think "Geez, can't you control that kid?". Now for the most part I think "That poor mom. Glad it's not me."
Me too!
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| Posted 8/27/09 9:38 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by prncsslehcar
Sorry, I'm a parent and I still give looks when I hear a toddler screeching while I'm eating. Not because I think anything bad of the parent, but because I'm trying to eat and have a conversation and there's a toddler screeching. I mean, I give my OWN kid looks when she's doing stuff like that. I full on expect that kids are going to make noise and be screeching in stores and restaurants, but it doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face about it. I can think it's annoying without judging the parent, KWIM? And again, I'm fully aware that there are plenty of times where MY kid is the one getting looks, but whatever. Such is life, right? So long as I try to take care of it, let the dirty looks come, doesn't bother me.
Now, when it comes to small babies, I don't even mind that at all, to be honest because they're just babies, what do they know? It's how they communicate their needs. Don't worry what your friends think, I'm sure they're not judging you, and if they are, they can get over themselves. Babies cry, toddlers and kids shriek and whine and people will look and stare. It's just a fact and it's really not a big deal what anyone thinks.
ITA.
If I go out I don't like kids screaming. That was nothing to do with me being a parent or not. I want to eat a nice meal outside the house and "maybe" escape the "everyday" life.
I usually don't take DS to restaurant because I know he can't stay in place. And because I like to eat a meal without my seat moving by a kid kicking it from the other side, I feel that it would not be fair to impose MY kid to others.
Of course, the rare time I brought DS to a diner recently, he screetched every 5 minutes. I am sure the customers loved me. Surprisingly an old couple was smiling at me and DS as we were leaving and thinking he was just a lively kid.
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| Posted 8/27/09 9:40 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by longford73
Posted by nrthshgrl
We don't have many non-parents but before I was a parent, I used to think "Geez, can't you control that kid?". Now for the most part I think "That poor mom. Glad it's not me."
Oh was that you giving me the sympathetic look in Waldbaums the other day.
ITA.
I used to be one of those judgemental moms, but now, when I see that all I feel is sympathy for the poor mom!
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| Posted 8/27/09 10:01 AM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: do you non-parent friends understand or scowl?
Posted by NinaLemon
Posted by prncsslehcar
Sorry, I'm a parent and I still give looks when I hear a toddler screeching while I'm eating. Not because I think anything bad of the parent, but because I'm trying to eat and have a conversation and there's a toddler screeching. I mean, I give my OWN kid looks when she's doing stuff like that. I full on expect that kids are going to make noise and be screeching in stores and restaurants, but it doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face about it. I can think it's annoying without judging the parent, KWIM?
I find this a little surprising, I can understand getting slightly annoyed if it goes on for a long time, but as you said kids are going to make noise. Giving a look isn't going to change the behavior of the child, it will only make the mother feel judged. I think it would be more encouraging to give the mother a look of sympathy than to give the child a look of displeasure. After all, we have all been there and know frustrating it can be
ITA. Sometimes it happens and there really isnt anything you can do to stop it, you can remove them, you can scold them, but short of covering their mouth you cant actually stop the screeching. Either way, I think we've all been there and no I dont give looks, the mother Im sure is embarassed enough she doesnt need looks from other people.
HOWEVER - I DO give looks to parents who let their kids run around a restaurant and climb all over the booths. Especially if the children are older.
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| Posted 8/27/09 10:10 AM |
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