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kgs11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/07 1424 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
I think there's a difference between playing cops/robber, or knights or ninjas and threatening to kill your teacher. I would be concerned if my son was threatening to cut peoples heads off. I don't think the teachers are overreacting, especially with everything that's going on in the world lately. If your ds doesn't mean it the way he's saying it, that needs to addressed and corrected with him. No "boys being boys" rug sweeping.
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Posted 12/6/14 2:20 PM  |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
I'm sorry. I can only imagine how stressful this must be. All I can tell you is that my nephew when he was 3-4 was a lot like your son. Very loving but very strong-willed. Also went to a small private school. My SIL got called to the sxhool because they said he threatened a school aide and said Im going to punch you in the nose. My SIL actually laughed when she heard it. The school was not happy and said he was going on disciplinary action and if he ever made a violent threat again he would be dismissed from the school. He was 3 1/2. Needless to say they read him the riot act, and she was on pins and needles for awhile constantly worried. I really think it was a maturity thing. He was also one of the younger kids in his class. He got a much calmer teacher the following year who adored him. He's 16 now and such a great kid!!! We laugh about this story all the time during the holidays. Hang in there mom! One day this will be a moment in time.
thank you! this give me hope. honestly, I know my son, he is being a ham. he gets a kick out of that stuff. not that it is acceptable. we took his buzz lightyear away and his helicopter. hopefully, this will all start to sink in - actions and consequences. he is so good but so quick tempered. I cant guarantee this won't happen again.
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| Posted 12/8/14 10:31 AM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
My nephew was/is the same. A great kid but very quick-tempered and if his buttons were pushed, oh boy! I think a lot of it also depends on the teacher's reactions/interactions. For example, his nursery teacher was no-nonsense and I think really didn't know how to deal with him. FWIW, he's the 3rd and his brother and sister were angels and they had the same teacher. But he has very hot-headed personality. I think a lot of it is the private-school atmosphere, but in his case the school saw she was trying to address it, etc. I'm not gonna lie. There were several other incidents with him. She says he is the reason she didn't go for a 4th, but like I said he matured in time and with the right guidance.
He was a handful for his pre-k and nursery teachers too but they were very patient and knew his personality. When he started acting up he needed to be separated. His nursery teacher would scold him in front of others. He'd get embarrassed and act up even more and they would go head to head. She retired after his year. My SIL said he pushed her into retirement!
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| Posted 12/8/14 10:42 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
My nephew was/is the same. A great kid but very quick-tempered and if his buttons were pushed, oh boy! I think a lot of it also depends on the teacher's reactions/interactions. For example, his nursery teacher was no-nonsense and I think really didn't know how to deal with him. FWIW, he's the 3rd and his brother and sister were angels and they had the same teacher. But he has very hot-headed personality. I think a lot of it is the private-school atmosphere, but in his case the school saw she was trying to address it, etc. I'm not gonna lie. There were several other incidents with him. She says he is the reason she didn't go for a 4th, but like I said he matured in time and with the right guidance.
He was a handful for his pre-k and nursery teachers too but they were very patient and knew his personality. When he started acting up he needed to be separated. His nursery teacher would scold him in front of others. He'd get embarrassed and act up even more and they would go head to head. She retired after his year. My SIL said he pushed her into retirement!
I think my son and your nephew are the same kid and I know I have a loooong road ahead of me. I am just worried that he is always going to be the "problem" child. I believe that he will mature one day and be a fantastic kid but this is not going to be the last incident. he is a wild card. that's it.
I can give him the talk, I can take toys away, I can give him time outs- aint nothing going to stop him from being him. I see a lot of potential in him but that temper, well, who knows what reaction you will get when you push his buttons. he doesn't take crap.
He is VERY verbal and very communicative but if he gets upset or frustrated at something, he throws whatever is in his hand. -like if a toy frustrates him.I teach him to use his words, not his hands etc.
same thing applies to him making "threatening" remarks to a teacher. he might get pissed off and say it again and he knows it is wrong. we will just have to keep on top of him.
I am going to schedule a phone conference this week but when I spoke to the teacher , I asked her about his focus. I was concerned if he was disruptive to the class and unable to sit /focus/have quiet time but she said he is fine in that department. he participates and can sit still, listen, play individually or with a group. so that is a relief. Seems like it is a behavioral/temper thing and not necessarily an ADD/ADHD thing.
still, this is going to be a long road.  
you would think I would stop having/wanting kids after my son but we are pregnant with #3. lightening doesn't strike twice right? hoping this next kid will be much calmer b/c I don't think they have a choice. My son is already a classic middle child.
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| Posted 12/8/14 10:55 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
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| Posted 12/8/14 11:00 AM |
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JRsMaMa
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 2044 total posts
Name:
Jake's Mama
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by Sparrow
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
I agree! 
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| Posted 12/8/14 11:04 AM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by Sparrow
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
Totally agree with this. Some people on here are overreacting.
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| Posted 12/8/14 11:18 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
Posted by Sparrow
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
Totally agree with this. Some people on here are overreacting.
I agree. He is 3 years old, not 13. If he said something like that at 13, I'd be concerned.
At 3, not so much.
He definitely needs to be spoken to, yes, but I don't think you have a budding psychopath on your hands or anything.
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| Posted 12/8/14 11:21 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
Posted by Sparrow
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
Totally agree with this. Some people on here are overreacting.
I agree. He is 3 years old, not 13. If he said something like that at 13, I'd be concerned.
At 3, not so much.
He definitely needs to be spoken to, yes, but I don't think you have a budding psychopath on your hands or anything.
i agree with all this I am glad I am not the only one who thinks this way 
i say he needs to be punished for not listening to his teachers and of course i would talk to him about not saying those type of things to people but beyond that i don't think there is much else that needs to be done.
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| Posted 12/8/14 11:48 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
Posted by Sparrow
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
Totally agree with this. Some people on here are overreacting.
I agree. He is 3 years old, not 13. If he said something like that at 13, I'd be concerned.
At 3, not so much.
He definitely needs to be spoken to, yes, but I don't think you have a budding psychopath on your hands or anything.
I am very laid back ,so it is good to get a different perspective from those that are alarmists and those that tend to be less. Thankfully no one crossed the line and everyone was very respectful. I welcomed all responses. 
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| Posted 12/8/14 1:42 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by phoenix913
I also don't think it's so unusual. Did the teacher give you any indication of his tone when he said it? Because I think that matters a lot.
My DS is also 3 and just yesterday he was playing alone and told me he was sinking in the ocean and sharks were going to kill him and eat his brain. Kids this age come up with all sorts of strange things without totally knowing what they are saying.
And I may get flamed for this, but I've also seen and heard that church schools, in general, are much less able to deal with misbehavior and children that don't fit the mold perfectly. So imo, it could be an overreaction on the teacher's part. Definitely have the conference and talk to your son about it, but I wouldn't get too worried just yet.
Good luck!
I totally agree, my 3 yr old is a non aggressive boy and always has been but lately has taken to pretending to be a ninja and using anything he can find as a sword. He uses language like you mentioned also, to tell you the truth I think he gets it from Teenahe Mutant Ninja Turtles and I stopped letting him watch as it is not appropriate for his age, he only saw it a couple time but it stuck. I think it is all age appropriate but I would talk with him and stress that he can not use those words.
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| Posted 12/8/14 1:59 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
I dont think its that abnormal. He is probably just mimicking something he has heard elsewhere. The problem is not the actions/comments, per se, but learning the difference between "play use" and use with an adult. He is still very young to understand the difference, and probably just needs it explained and reinforced with him.
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| Posted 12/8/14 10:37 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by nferrandi
I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't see the harm in little boys playing with swords or playing cops and robbers. Taking away his swords really won't make a difference, he will just use a stick or another toy as a sword.
I do think, given the situation with school, that you need to spend more tin explaining the difference between play talk and the way you talk to an adult. Maybe even play swords with him and show him the appropriate way to play and talk. Then when the game us over, explain that the game talk ends too. It doesn't continue into every day life.
At the end of the day, he's a 3 year old little boy. He's going to get into trouble or need a talking to every so often. Don't jump to any conclusions that something is "wrong" with your DS.
I am with you.
I have a 7yo boy and a 3yo boy. My 7yo was an angel, perfect kid. He is now a smart mouthed second grader. My 3yo has been a spirited, rough and tumble boy since birth. He has said things like, kill you, or chop your head off....honestly there are so many places a child can learn these phrases....older sibling, older cousin, playground, school, tv, etc....my 3yo has no idea these are mean or bad things. when I reprimanded him for one such comment the other day, he asked why I was upset with him...he really had no clue.
I think your son sounds spirited and maybe has trouble expressing his emotions (my 3yo is similar) but I nothing in your post makes me feel like OMG, he did WHAT?!
I think that he needs time and coaching to learn whats appropriate and how to express himself. Explaining why those words are mean, how they hurt people etc. He is young and I am sure doesnt get what these words really mean!
Oh and my 3yo started sword fighting his brother with a broom tonight. Boys who like that type of activity will use anything from a pretzel stick to a roll of wrapping paper to sword fight. My boys use their arms as swords! So I personally dont think taking away a toy sword is the answer.
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| Posted 12/9/14 12:03 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by blu6385
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Maybe-Baybe
Posted by Sparrow
I don't think there's anything wrong with your son. I do think that he needs to be spoken to and taught to respect authority. I also think you need to teach him that he can't talk to people this way or use those type of words. I don't think it's abnormal that he said it though. I think you're getting some over the top responses on here.
Totally agree with this. Some people on here are overreacting.
I agree. He is 3 years old, not 13. If he said something like that at 13, I'd be concerned.
At 3, not so much.
He definitely needs to be spoken to, yes, but I don't think you have a budding psychopath on your hands or anything.
i agree with all this I am glad I am not the only one who thinks this way
i say he needs to be punished for not listening to his teachers and of course i would talk to him about not saying those type of things to people but beyond that i don't think there is much else that needs to be done.
All this!
and this:
Posted by nferrandi
I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't see the harm in little boys playing with swords or playing cops and robbers. Taking away his swords really won't make a difference, he will just use a stick or another toy as a sword.
I do think, given the situation with school, that you need to spend more tin explaining the difference between play talk and the way you talk to an adult. Maybe even play swords with him and show him the appropriate way to play and talk. Then when the game us over, explain that the game talk ends too. It doesn't continue into every day life.
At the end of the day, he's a 3 year old little boy. He's going to get into trouble or need a talking to every so often. Don't jump to any conclusions that something is "wrong" with your DS.
AJ watches TMNT and Spiderman, batman and Transformers. She knows its not real, that those words are dangerous. Its not what's around but what is taught. Kids have ALWAYS cops and robbers, good guys vs bad and the good guys win and bad guys die.
Its totally normal. IMHO
I also don't think its a boy vs girl thing either. Just is a kid thing. You have tried tons of stuff it seems but you weren't aware it had gotten to this level. Seems like you are going to need to work out a new plan of attack. For AJ it was "If you say that, you hurt the teacher's feelings and your friends. If you hurt their feelings no one will want to play with you and they will be sad. So sad you may not be able to go back to class with them" This was her lying (which upsets me beyond belief). She said they had done something to her and stuck with it full force. But it was a lie and it was mean and it ticked me off.
Funny now my kid says that "what the... " is a bad word, so is heck, hell, damn and shoot. LOL She will whisper shoot.
Still fighting the good fight on her lying tho. *sigh*
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| Posted 12/9/14 1:01 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
Posted by Xelindrya
Funny now my kid says that "what the... "
Oh my Lord I hate this phrase. I went through it with my SS.. obviously didnt work out too well because he is 17 and still says it. Now because of that my DS says it and has my 5yr old niece saying it. I keep correcting DS and scolding him. Its a vicious cycle.
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| Posted 12/9/14 6:35 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: please help! my 3yr old has made 2 "threatening" remarks to teacher /now i have a conference
OP as long as you correct him and he gets punished for it, he will be fine. My DS said worse at 3 to his teacher. I was mortified, horrified and anything else you can think of. I remember thinking, "WTH is wrong with my kid!!"
Mind you at that age he was still watching all the baby channels like Nick jr and wasnt watching Super Heroes at that time. We actually had someone come to my house to evaluate him and when they saw my sweet dispositioned DS, the lady thought I was nuts. He got reprimanded and punished for the incident. His Daycare also implemented a daily sheet with Happy faces and Sad faces on his behaviour. That worked out well for us.
Fast Forward and he is now 6. He loves all things super hero, TNMNT, has swords and guns. He hasnt threatened anyone since then or fought anyone. He is also in karate as well. He is still spirited and did have a rough start behavioural wise in Kindergarten last year but he hasnt said anything crazy like that since he was 3.
Message edited 12/9/2014 6:55:32 PM.
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| Posted 12/9/14 6:53 PM |
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