FTWM of 2

If your kids are pretty close in age - what did you do with Child 1 when Child 2 was born?

DD will be 2 yrs 4 months when baby is born. She is in daycare and doing really well. I expect to be on full pay, so cost isn't that big of a concern.

I'd like to keep her home with me to spend more time with her and save the money for daycare. But, concerned about chasing a 2 year old and nursing a newborn. Also concerned about throwing her off her routine and losing her "spot" at school. It might be strange to pull her out when she is so used to this and then put her back in 3 months later when most kids are starting preschool anyway.

We could also reduce her hours so I get to see her more but she still gets the school interaction - won't change the cost though.

FTWM of 2

DD was 13 mths when do was born. I kept them both with me on leave to get the extra time with both. They were 4.5 and 3.5 when do was born. I took them both our of daycare to spend the time off with all of them

Re: FTWM of 2

DD1 was 25 months when DD2 was born. DD1 was in daycare part time but I very quickly realized that I needed her in daycare full time. It was a very hard winter to keep a toddler occupied in a small apt while caring for a newborn. I don't think it's a good idea to take her out of daycare totally bc I think it's important to keep their routine and stability when so much is changing. I did pull dd1 out of daycare once a week to have a mommy day while my parents watched dd2.

Re: FTWM of 2

Mine are 21 months apart. I kept dd1 in daycare 96% of my maternity leave. The way I figure is that school gave her structureand schedule. And with a new baby it was hard to do anything, if I keep her home that goes out the Window. I wanted to get to spend the quality time with dd2 that I got with my first. Dd2 wanted so much attention when I brought home the baby it was hard at times. It worked out well.

FTWM of 2

I just had DS2 three weeks ago. I kept DS1 (22 months) in daycare full time. While I would love the home time with him, I knew after a c-section I would not be able to do much and certainly not chase him/entertain. I had also reduced his time in the summer to 3 days a week to get extra time with him before baby came and that backfired miserably. Drop off became a problem, he wanted to stay home, etc...so I learned quickly he needed the daily consistency.

I figure I am only home for 12 weeks before returning full time, I am not going to throw off his routine. That said, I do pick one day a week that I pick him up early for some mommy/Ds1 time. Not the same day each week so he doesn't expect it either. Seems to be working for us right now.

FTWM of 2

I took DD out for the week when DS was born. my DH was home with me. I then switched her to 3 days a week. I did Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday so she wouldn't really notice she was going less. I did it for 7 weeks cause I went back to working from home after 8 weeks and trying to work from home with her isn't easy. I did it this way for several reasons, so she can spend time with the baby, to save money and I had to be the one to drop her off and pick her up she goes to daycare by my job so I didn't want to do it 5 days a week. (my job is only about 20 minutes or so away)

FTWM of 2

Mine are 18 months apart. When I work DS normally goes to my mom's. After my DD was born, I sent DS a couple days to my mom's, just because its really hard at first to be home alone with 2. Then during the summer, I signed him up for a 6 week summer program. He went 3 days a week for half days.
I would definitely continue your daughter at day care. I would just reduce the days. You'll need some time alone with the baby, but at the same time you'll miss your older baby. I think keeping her in is a lifesaver, but reduce the amount of time.

Re: FTWM of 2

My mom watched DS when DS#2 was born. They are exactly 2 years apart. DH got a new job while I was on maternity leave so I decided to stay home when DS#2 was born. Eventually went back to work PT.

If I were you, I'd keep DC in daycare but pick her up early. My 3yo currently attends a preschool with extended care so somewhat similar to daycare. Lots of families pick up the kids around lunchtime.

Re: FTWM of 2

It just so happened that we were between daycares when DC2 was born so DC1 stayed home with me the whole time. I'm not going to lie....it was rough at times, especially since it was a bitter cold winter. But I got out of the house as much as possible and went to indoor play places, made play dates with my SAHM friends and family. If I could I would have kept DC1 in daycare at least part of the time, but it was also nice having that extra time to bond with both of them.

FTWM of 2

i had dd home with me while i was on leave...she was 15 months at the time ds ws born. it was exhausting!!! if i had the option, i would have had her in daycare part time. i would reduce her hours but still have her go. imo, you dont want to completely disrupt her routine. plus it will be nice for you to have time alone wtih #2 and also some down time for yourself while #2 rests.

Re: FTWM of 2

My DS was 3.5 when the baby was born, I kept him in daycare fulltime the 1st week and then part-time the following week. If I could afford to I would have kept him in part-time a little longer to have more time with the baby and be able to rest bc it was also very exhausting as pp mentioned.

However, once we was no longer in daycare i signed him up for library programs and gymnastics.

Message edited 9/24/2014 10:27:10 AM.

Re: FTWM of 2

I kept my 2.5yr old DS home the whole time. It was summer so I enrolled him in a 2.5hr camp program for 5 of the 19 weeks I was home which honestly was more of a pain than anything because of picking up and dropping off with a newborn.

I had my nanny start back with us a week before I went back so she could get adjusted to both of them and DS could adjust back to that routine gradually with her. Honestly, as a FTWM I LOVED being a SAHM of 2 for several months and wont ever get that chance again not to mention it saved me over $10k!

FTWM of 2

DS went to daycare full time...I had to pay for it anyway, i couldn't take him out for 3 months. I did feel slightly guilty but I'm glad I did it because 1) I had my alone time and bonding time with DD, when I did have the two of them DS needed a lot of the attention 2) he had a hard time adjusting and I think it really helped keeping his routine the same

Re: FTWM of 2

Thanks for your responses! I have some time to decide so that will help.

I know I shouldn't but I feel guilty for thinking daycare would be best. Like I should have her home. But she was a very difficult baby, only sleeping for 1-2 hour stretches much of the time. If second child is like that, I don't think I could physically care for them both due to exhaustion.

Will also depend on the work outlook, might change up my job after baby number 2.

So much to think about. Thanks again

FTWM of 2

When our second was born, we kept our older one in daycare twice a week. This helped keep up his routine somewhat so there was no readjustment when I went back to work. We did the same with our older two when our third was born.