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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
I would say something. I think in today's society everyone is so worried about offending someone but its a safety issue. It there was an accident how would you feel knowing what you said could have saved that kids life.
I agree.
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Posted 9/5/14 10:49 AM  |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I'm pretty sure ffing a child under 1 is illegal regardless of their weight. Maybe mention that?
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| Posted 9/5/14 11:05 AM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
You said you couldn't live with yourself if something happened to the child. There's your answer. You are looking out for the saftey of a baby. I would say something and if she doesn't like it or follow through then at least you did what you could.
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| Posted 9/5/14 11:37 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
If I was doing something that could lead my child to be unsafe and potentially harmed, I would be grateful for someone to tell me. Nothing is more important to me than DDs safety including my pride.
With that, If it was just a matter of FF within weight limit, I wouldn't say anything, because it's not against the law, just not as safe. BUT with the harness not being tight enough and the clip being low, etc, yes, I would say something.
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| Posted 9/5/14 12:03 PM |
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Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I personally wouldn't say Anything.
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| Posted 9/5/14 12:04 PM |
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MarsB
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1456 total posts
Name:
Martha
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Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
If it was me and I was seriously concerned about the safety of a child, I would say something and I don't care if she's offended. And I wouldn't be passive about it. I would straight up say, "I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but studies show it's safer to keep LO RF until 2 yrs old and it looks like those straps may be too lose." What's the worse that can happen? She tells you to mind your own business. Honestly, I would feel better knowing I said something.
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| Posted 9/5/14 1:35 PM |
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MrsW326
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1132 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I would maybe find something related to car seat straps, share a video or article with her and say something like my DD used to pull on her straps all of the time until I tightened them, thought you might like this!
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| Posted 9/5/14 1:35 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
It's tricky. Under one year old is technically against the law right? Your concern is valid. But I am already getting sick of the sanctimonious types who are practically competitive about how long they Intend to rear face. It's like the new breast feeding/ rooming in/SAHM debate. I waited till two to flip and still get comments from people. Mind you, I have triplets, one of whom has a mild disability and you would think parents of one typical baby wouldn't have the nerve to comment but they do!
Also as for the psa on fb, I personally hate passive aggression. I once posted a pic of my kids at the pool with spray on sunscreen in the background and almost immediately a friend posted a link about the current stink about spray on sunscreen. It was really annoying and insulting and completely transparent. This is also a woman who drives her kid in a roofless wrangler. We all have our things. My kids may forward face and use spray on screen, but our car has a roof!
Message edited 9/5/2014 1:49:37 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/14 1:47 PM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
This for sure! There is a link going around FB on all the car seat things you are doing wrong and don't even know it. Maybe you could email that to her with a note saying " I just saw this and thought I Would pass it along" Maybe that would get the point across without being too preachy if that is what you are worried about?
Posted by StaceyWill
I think I would say something. Normally, I'm in the camp of: 'you can't tell someone how to parent'...but this is a safety issue and maybe she just doesn't know. I would say it in a nice way. I mean, esp. since she's family. I wouldn't think twice about saying something to my sister if I saw my nephew that way in the car seat.
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| Posted 9/5/14 2:05 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I'd say something, nicely. "I don't mean to offend or meddle but I can't help but notice...." If she's offended it's her problem.
I work in the city and I can't tell you how many times I see moms, dads, and nanny's with their stroller in the street and their feet on the sidewalk. I say something EVERY time. I'm that person. In my opinion, it's uncomfortable but it's the right thing to do. We're all busy, we all make mistakes. I'd want someone to tell me if they caught me on an off day.
Message edited 9/5/2014 2:11:53 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/14 2:11 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by ElizaRags35
I'm pretty sure ffing a child under 1 is illegal regardless of their weight. Maybe mention that?
There are no laws about rf and ff. they just have to be in a seat.
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| Posted 9/5/14 3:21 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by NYCGirl80
If it's family, I'd just say - look, I'm not sure if you're aware but...and then explain what your concerns were. A total stranger? I'd MYOB. But unless there's a bad relationship there, I'd be totally ok saying something. Even preface with, I know it's totally none of my business, but I would never forgive myself if G-d forbid something happened...
Maybe she honestly doesn't know, and would be so thankful that you told her.
i agree with this
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| Posted 9/5/14 3:29 PM |
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Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I think you can inquire as to why she is doing the car seat in that manner. However, if you pass judgment you run the risk of getting blocked.
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| Posted 9/5/14 3:44 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
If it's not illegal, I have to amend my prior statement. If she's not breaking the law I wouldn't intervene. Maybe you do things with your kids she doesn't like (I dot know you and am sure you are a great mom, but you get my point.)
Message edited 9/5/2014 5:55:59 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/14 5:55 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by MrsW326
I would maybe find something related to car seat straps, share a video or article with her and say something like my DD used to pull on her straps all of the time until I tightened them, thought you might like this!
This is what I was trying to get at. Someone else said what I was feeling too: if someone mentioned it to me I'd be grateful. Her? Eh she kind of has an I don't give a F attitude about everything. It's why I was hesitant in the first place... I just thought it would fall on deaf ears more so than her opinion toward me for saying something.
Thank you all for your opinions and letting me vent on this. I have to find a tactful way to put the message out there maybe... Ugh still torn
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| Posted 9/5/14 6:07 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by Hopefulmama
It's tricky. Under one year old is technically against the law right? Your concern is valid. But I am already getting sick of the sanctimonious types who are practically competitive about how long they Intend to rear face. It's like the new breast feeding/ rooming in/SAHM debate. I waited till two to flip and still get comments from people. Mind you, I have triplets, one of whom has a mild disability and you would think parents of one typical baby wouldn't have the nerve to comment but they do!
Also as for the psa on fb, I personally hate passive aggression. I once posted a pic of my kids at the pool with spray on sunscreen in the background and almost immediately a friend posted a link about the current stink about spray on sunscreen. It was really annoying and insulting and completely transparent. This is also a woman who drives her kid in a roofless wrangler. We all have our things. My kids may forward face and use spray on screen, but our car has a roof!
Don't amend anything. Your post really gave me a great new perspective on the situation. You're right, we all have our things. My cousin, a detective, was so upset about me Putting the bumpers back into my cribs when DDs were16mo. She's seen a lot of kids die, and she said something in a tactful and respectful way. I heeded her advice, I didn't take it personally and I learned something. I guess it was being open minded....
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. 
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| Posted 9/5/14 6:14 PM |
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I would say "hey I want to give you a heads up that ff is illegal under 1 in case you weren't aware. My friend just got pulled over and got a huge ticket for this since she didn't realize it was illegal."
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| Posted 9/5/14 9:03 PM |
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Wishes1111
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 853 total posts
Name:
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Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Say something and be direct. I would tell her you noticed the car seat in the video and you happen to be knowledgeable about the safety of how to buckle the car seats bc you took a class, went to safety place, etc. and you are passing the information along. You don't want to step on her toes but you did notice it and thought she would find it helpful. I honestly would be grateful if someone noticed something I was doing was unsafe and cared enough to let me know. And if i was you, I would be concerned for the safety of the child and at least you can have a clear conscience that you spoke up
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| Posted 9/5/14 9:11 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
It is not a law to rear face until 1. It is a recommendation.
Car seat recommendations
This is one of those things that if the child is already 30lbs and 30in+ I wouldn't say a thing. That is a big kid for under 1! That is the weight already of some 2 year olds. Personally, I would MYOB.
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| Posted 9/5/14 9:17 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by Teachergal
It is not a law to rear face until 1. It is a recommendation.
Car seat recommendations
This is one of those things that if the child is already 30lbs and 30in+ I wouldn't say a thing. That is a big kid for under 1! That is the weight already of some 2 year olds. Personally, I would MYOB.
I think, and I could be wrong here, that in a proper use state, which I don't think NY is (but I believe OP said her cousin is OOS), it would be illegal if the car seat manufacturer specifies that the child must be over the age of 1. I read too much CSFTL lol.
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| Posted 9/5/14 10:23 PM |
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ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I'd say something(and always do). I actually just recently had a friend thank me for the advice I gave her a few years back. Their SUV rolled over and her son survived and she felt like it was my advice that saved him. I never once expected my advice to pay off in such a way, but I am glad i spoke up. I am normally on edge when i say something but so far every parent has been nice about my advice. Whether they all listen, i don't know. But i know i would never forgive myself if something happened and i didn't speak up. I have yet to lose a friend over speaking up.
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| Posted 9/6/14 9:40 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
I would mind my business or bring it up in person in a jokey way and not make a thing of it. I would not post or send a pm about it... messages tend to get misinterpreted and you dont know for sure she left her dd that waym
Maybe she stopped to take a pic then went back strapped her dd in and hen drove.
People dont like to be lectured or preached to. And mostly people dont like beig told how to parent.
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| Posted 9/7/14 8:46 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by Teachergal
It is not a law to rear face until 1. It is a recommendation.
Car seat recommendations
This is one of those things that if the child is already 30lbs and 30in+ I wouldn't say a thing. That is a big kid for under 1! That is the weight already of some 2 year olds. Personally, I would MYOB.
I think, and I could be wrong here, that in a proper use state, which I don't think NY is (but I believe OP said her cousin is OOS), it would be illegal if the car seat manufacturer specifies that the child must be over the age of 1. I read too much CSFTL lol.
NY is a proper use state. The law in NY (which is not what is stated in the link above) is the following
New York's Occupant Restraint laws require the following:
Children up to the age of 4 must be properly restrained in a federally approved child safety seat that is attached to a vehicle by a seat belt or universal child restraint anchorage (LATCH) system.
Children less than age 4 but weighing more than 40 poundsmay be restrained in a booster seat with a lap/shoulder safety belt. However, a child safety seat that accommodates higher weights can be used.
Children ages 4, 5, 6 and 7 must be properly secured in an appropriate child restraint system, one for which the child meets the height and weight recommendations of the child restraint manufacturer.*
An appropriate child restraint system is one that meets the child's size and weight recommended by the manufacturer.
A vehicle's safety belt is NOT a child restraint system.
Children riding in booster seats must be secured with a combination lap/shoulder seat belt, NEVERsecure a child in a booster seat with only a lap belt.
From the age of 8 until they reach their 16th birthday, children must be restrained in a seat belt whenever they ride in a vehicle. All Front seat passengers must be properly restrained at all times, regardless of age.
Children 12 years and younger should ride in the back seat. By simply buckling up your child in the back seat reduces his/her risk of death by 33%.
*It is recommended that booster seats be used until your child is 4 foot 9 inches tall or weighs 100 pounds.
With that being said, weight and height have nothing to do with the recommendation to remain rear facing until two years old. It is about the maturity of the neck muscles and bones which is an age thing regardless of height and weight.
In regards to the OP- personally, putting aside that I'm a car seat tech, I would figure out a way to say something. Not in her face but not passive aggressive either. It is the safety of a child at risk and some people truly just dont know.
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| Posted 9/7/14 1:57 PM |
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