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inhiding2014
LIF Infant
Member since 3/14 58 total posts
Name:
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What do you say to people?
I'm going for my first apt tomorrow morning, for sono & exam. I'm guessing I'm around 7 weeks tomorrow (give or take a day or two). It's hard for me to guess exactly because I ovulate late, so based on LMP I'd be 8 weeks, but that's just not accurate, I O'ed around CD 18-20. Anyway, because of my MC & chemical last year, I'm not telling anyone anytime soon, MAYBE family next week, because my father will be in from California and I'd love to tell him in person versus over the phone ... I've already surpassed the point I was at with my MC, but still am nervous.
The issue is I'm starting to get some questions, because I'm not drinking and because my food aversions (which popped up this weekend/late last week) are some of my favorite foods - grated parmesan cheese, my meatballs (they smelled disgusting to me, but everyone loved them) and broccoli - my favorite veggie, I can't even think of eating it.
So, I've had one person actually flat out ask me and I just said no comment, because I don't want to lie, I feel like if I say "no" I'll be jinxing myself, and I don't want to say "yes" for the same reason.... I'm just curious how others handle it when they get asked...
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Posted 4/14/14 10:31 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
Congrats! Try: "That is NOT a good question to ask a woman."
Big smile on your face, but a little embarrassed/insulted looking so they think you may not be pregnant and are insulted at being asked. But with a big smile.
That'll keep em guessing and make them question their manners.
What is wrong with people? Is it that weird that someone doesn't drink one night?
Or, if they're really rude, try, "Now, do I make comments about YOUR size?" Big smile again.
Some people need to subtly be told how rude they are.
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| Posted 4/14/14 11:59 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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What do you say to people?
I never hid it. So if people asked I would say yes.
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:05 PM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
I would just say something like "Yikes, well I guess I am never wearing this shirt again" and make them feel like an a-hole
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:05 PM |
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inhiding2014
LIF Infant
Member since 3/14 58 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by secretlyTTCagain
I would just say something like "Yikes, well I guess I am never wearing this shirt again" and make them feel like an a-hole
That's a great one! None of it's been for size issues (though, seriously, can't fit in to any of my pants anymore).... but I love this response.
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:08 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by alli3131
I never hid it. So if people asked I would say yes.
Same here.
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:09 PM |
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starr
little whale on the way
Member since 6/10 1288 total posts
Name:
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What do you say to people?
ye I too would turn it into "are u calling me fat???" thing LOL
and I do have to agree that ppl asking flat out like that is rude. no one did that to me thankfully, tho I know they were for sure guessing
Message edited 4/14/2014 12:10:49 PM.
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:10 PM |
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inhiding2014
LIF Infant
Member since 3/14 58 total posts
Name:
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What do you say to people?
i had one person ask me flat out - I yelped ouch when I crossed my arms across my boobs, and I just said "no comment", and she left it, but my BFF is "fishing" for it.... and I told her last year not to ask it because I won't answer it... I know I'm going to get questions at Easter Brunch from family.
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:11 PM |
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Lola64
She is my heart!
Member since 1/11 1110 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by seaside
Congrats! Try: "That is NOT a good question to ask a woman."
Big smile on your face, but a little embarrassed/insulted looking so they think you may not be pregnant and are insulted at being asked. But with a big smile.
That'll keep em guessing and make them question their manners.
What is wrong with people? Is it that weird that someone doesn't drink one night?
Or, if they're really rude, try, "Now, do I make comments about YOUR size?" Big smile again.
Some people need to subtly be told how rude they are.
This!
I felt bad saying no too for the same reason that I didn't want to jinx it. I would just leave out the yes or no response and say something like "who asks that?" or some other phrase calling out their etiquette.
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:17 PM |
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Mrs&MrsK
i need sleep ;-)
Member since 2/14 2008 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by secretlyTTCagain
I would just say something like "Yikes, well I guess I am never wearing this shirt again" and make them feel like an a-hole
LMAO!!!
we actually talked about this already too. we are probably going to go the "it's my turn to drive" route if we get prego before memorial day (we have weddings to go to).
people r so rude! especially because i've heard of so many stories where people asked... and it really was just "fat" lol
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| Posted 4/14/14 12:36 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Message edited 4/25/2014 9:09:12 AM.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:07 PM |
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inhiding2014
LIF Infant
Member since 3/14 58 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by Mrs&MrsK
people r so rude! especially because i've heard of so many stories where people asked... and it really was just "fat" lol
That's def happened to me before, in my last office, a woman looked at me as I was reaching for something and exclaimed "oh you didn't tell me you were pregnant" all excited, I said nope, not preggo, just fat.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:26 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by HeyJude
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by alli3131
I never hid it. So if people asked I would say yes.
Same here.
I applaud you guys.
I was also going through fertility issues that I was very open about and would tell anybody. I would have been also very open about a loss. My theory is others go through the same things and we have such a taboo about it and it shouldn't be that way.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:34 PM |
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readyfor3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/10 751 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
I flat out lied when I needed to, which wasn't often. When I was out socially I carried a drink and no one ever noticed that anything was off that I know of.
Each time I only told my sister, bf and Mom. Everyone else at 12-14 weeks along.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:38 PM |
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inhiding2014
LIF Infant
Member since 3/14 58 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by alli3131
Posted by HeyJude
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by alli3131
I never hid it. So if people asked I would say yes.
Same here.
I applaud you guys.
I was also going through fertility issues that I was very open about and would tell anybody. I would have been also very open about a loss. My theory is others go through the same things and we have such a taboo about it and it shouldn't be that way.
I agree with you, I've been very open about my losses, but I'm afraid of "jinxing" myself. Even on here, I'm using a different name, at least until tomorrow with my OB apt.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:38 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Message edited 4/25/2014 9:09:31 AM.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:44 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
I don't think you have any obligation to tell anyone. I think it's nervy for people to ask. If they ask, I'd just say you aren't feeling well and leave it at that.
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| Posted 4/14/14 1:49 PM |
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OnlyU12
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/13 431 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by HeyJude
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by alli3131
I never hid it. So if people asked I would say yes.
Same here.
I applaud you guys. I had 2 previous losses, like the OP, and was very hesitant to tell people I was pregnant. How brave of you!
I had to go to a wedding early on and my 1 cousin made a comment to me when she heard me order a seltzer with lime. She said something like you are being so good. I just kind of laughed it off and smiled.
I had a few people at work ask me if we were having anymore kids or make similar comments (when I was pg) and again, I kind of laughed and said well we'll see and quickly changed the subject. I also have ignored people and changed the subject right away.
I find it to be a very personal topic and think it is rude when people ask or make pg comments. I also don't want to say NO I am not pg, b/c I a superstious. It is probably just because of my history.
For me, I haven't had any MC's thank God, but I am haven't announced the pregnancy or even gave my due date to anyone but immediate family (parents, siblings and grandparent). I just want to wait till the 2nd trimester.
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| Posted 4/14/14 3:16 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by NYCGirl80
I don't think you have any obligation to tell anyone. I think it's nervy for people to ask. If they ask, I'd just say you aren't feeling well and leave it at that.
Agreed. I was always under the mindset of just because someone asks you a question, doesn't mean you have to answer them. That goes for anything you don't feel comfortable answering, not specifically pregnancy related. My mom taught me that and I think it's great advice.
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| Posted 4/14/14 4:05 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: What do you say to people?
Posted by inhiding2014
Posted by alli3131
Posted by HeyJude
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by alli3131
I never hid it. So if people asked I would say yes.
Same here.
I applaud you guys.
I was also going through fertility issues that I was very open about and would tell anybody. I would have been also very open about a loss. My theory is others go through the same things and we have such a taboo about it and it shouldn't be that way.
I agree with you, I've been very open about my losses, but I'm afraid of "jinxing" myself. Even on here, I'm using a different name, at least until tomorrow with my OB apt.
the first thing you have to realize is that there is no such thing as jinxing. My mom told everyone after my first sonogram. Then we had to tell them all that we werent having twins anymore. Does it suck, yes, but it was also really nice to not be alone anymore. I went through so many losses alone!
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| Posted 4/14/14 4:15 PM |
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