I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Does anyone elses toddler cry and scream over everything and have a constantly crying baby? I feel like she has been wailing for two hours straight already and it's driving me crazy. It makes me feel like such a lousy mother. I feel bad because I hate seeing her so frustrated all the time, it makes me feel like I don't understand what is wrong so I feel like I am neglecting something, it makes me feel like she hates me for having to discipline/ignore her. I try to do the empathy thing I read in all the books- hold her and say you are feeling sad, frustrated, angry... but it doesn't work with her. I just sit there with her while she throws and hits and screams. Eventually she'll calm down on her own, but 5 minutes later I'll do something else to make her go off again...

Re: I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Welcome to toddlerhood! I have no advice as I am in the middle of it, too. DD hates me b/c I'm the disciplinarian and loves Daddy b/c he gets her to calm down and dotes on her whereas I do not baby her.

ETA: I also have very little patience of late due my 3rd trimester. I hope things get better in the summer when she can be mommy's helper and run around outside to expend energy.

Message edited 3/20/2014 9:59:07 AM.

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Is she teething? I know for DS 2 - teething and ear infections that we didn't know about made his tantrums at that age a lot worse.

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

SHe is 19 months right???? I wouldn't use much discipline. She is still young and learning and probably most of the meltdowns are because she is trying to tell you something and can't fully explain herself.

At that age all I did was no's and it would usually cause a meltdown but I would follow up with hugs. At that age IMO they need to learn no but also have the affection because they aren't quite sure why they got the no.

Its a delicate balance but its also just a phase.

IMO we try to be a perfect mom and when we stop trying to be perfect things get a lot easier.

Re: I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

my dd is 20 months and Im going through the exact same thing. BUT shes teething. Shes getting 4 teeth at once and while shes a drama queen to begin with as of the last 2 weeks shes been beyond that. If her toy gets stuck she has a meltdown. If I tell her she cant have something she has a meltdown. If I tell her to wait she has a meltdown. If I speak she has a meltdown LOL
I get very frustrated myself some days because it feels like its just 2 hours of crying and frustration from both of us. LOL
From what I hear its normal =/

Empathy doesnt work for me. Being firm doesnt work for me. Walking away doesnt work for me.

Re: I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

DD is 22 months and I'm going through the same thing. She gets very upset when she hears the word "no". She hits me, herself, whatever is around her. It's very frustrating, but I just remember that SHE'S frustrated and I try to ignore her until she stops and then put her mind on something else.

Re: I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Posted by cateyemm

Posted by alli3131

SHe is 19 months right???? I wouldn't use much discipline. She is still young and learning and probably most of the meltdowns are because she is trying to tell you something and can't fully explain herself.

this is our life all day too. usually when the meltdowns start, we try to either distract them with some other toy/activity or we start singing really loud or jumping up and down doing something really silly that catches their attention, gets them to stop crying then we can redirect.

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

I practice avoidance as much as possible! I try to keep things out of reach if I don't want her to have them or out of sight if it would particularly tempting. I try to ignore her tantrums and redirect with something novel and exciting as quickly as I can. Someone on here suggested replacing what you say no to with something similar and it's worked wonderfully. If she wants to chew something in appropriate, I offer an ice cube in a mesh teether, she wants to paint I may offer chalk or stickers instead, etc. Today she wanted my receipt at the grocery store so I gave her a coupon I didn't want instead. I say pick your battles! I also rarely take things from her and usually make it more like a job and have her put things in a specific place so she feels like she's in control and doesn't get upset.

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

We haven't had meltdowns yet, but I definitely get "yelled at". Usually, because she wants help with her toys - opening something, getting something she just pushed under the couch and can't reach. When we say no, she sometime cries for a few seconds. But, often she ignores us and we have to redirect her 2 or 3 times before she stops.

Re: I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Posted by cateyemm

Posted by alli3131

SHe is 19 months right???? I wouldn't use much discipline. She is still young and learning and probably most of the meltdowns are because she is trying to tell you something and can't fully explain herself.

this is our life all day too. usually when the meltdowns start, we try to either distract them with some other toy/activity or we start singing really loud or jumping up and down doing something really silly that catches their attention, gets them to stop crying then we can redirect.

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Dd is 17 months and is overall a very happy baby, but she does tend to have at least one meltdown an hour. Sometimes they're short and over very silly things, like when she wants something she can't have. I try to redirect her attention as much as possible, by showing or giving her something she can have and that she likes to play with. She definitely has worse days when she's teething or extra tired. I know when she's ready for a nap or bedtime when she just cried hysterically for no reason or for really ridiculous things. I think its mostly because she can't communicate yet so she's frustrated. But it's frustrating for us too!!

I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

We are going through the same thing. The word, " no" sends her into a full blown tantrum. I'm just trying to be consistent and redirect her, and not giving into what she wants/thinks she should be allowed to do, lol

Re: I have a Toddler... And I'm going INSANE!

Hang in there its totally normal and you are not alone! Try distracting her with something else
My ds not only will scream and cry but hit me, try to bite me and bang his head against anything (including me!) ahh the joy of terrible 2s (it starts before 2)