Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

I'm not sure what to do about DD's attachment to me. It's BAD and I feel it's not normal. I was the same way with my mother as a child and I did not want her to be like this. I am a SAHM but only for the past 3 weeks. DD went to daycare with her twin brother for 3 years so it's not like she was with me 24/7. I enrolled her in dance classes and had to recently pull her out after a few months because she would not go in the room without me. I literally had to sit in the room with her and even then she didn't want to leave my side. When DH is holding her or takes her out of my arms she freaks out. I mean really freaks out. Screaming and crying to the point where she can't breath. Tonight she woke up and I brought her on the couch with me for a bit and she fell asleep. DH picked her up to bring her back to bed and she immediately woke up and started crying. Sometimes I feel like she may hyperventalate. When someone is coming over, whether or not it's to hang out or to watch them so we can go out, she freaks and asks me if I am going to leave. I have to literally talk to her for a good 5 minutes to assure her I'm not leaving. Or if I am leaving I have to assure her that I am coming back. I didn't want her to be the way I was. I just don't know what to do with her. I know it's normal for a child to be attached to their mother but The attachment that she has is not normal and it makes me sad that she is like this. Just wondering if anyone else has/had a DC like this and what are some things I can do to help her.

Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

my DD is super attached to me, but she picks and chooses when to be attached. she is only 1.
In the morning she is usually ok. i work part time and when i drop her off with my MIL, sometimes she'll start to fuss and cry and other times she'll be ok. But always she will stretch her arms out for me and whimper a bit before i leave. i usually have to kiss her goodbye, tell her i love you and that i will be back soon and then run out the door. once i come home, that's it. she doesn't want to know anything about anyone else. its me or nothing. she stuck tome like glue for the rest of the day. she'll tolerate DH for a bit while i wash dishes but after that, uh uh. she'll only want me to put her to sleep and if DH tries to pick her up she'll throw a massive tantrum and cry so hard she starts to heave and look like she's not getting enough air. i don't know what to do about it really, i'm just hoping she'll grow out of it.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

My DD was super attached (but I worked FT).
The solution is to have DH responsible for certain things & stick to it.

Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

Yes, i am experiencing the same thing right now. DS is 2 and SUPER attached to me, to the point where he doesn't ever want DH to hold him or do things for/with him. He is OK with DH when I am not home, but as soon as I get home from work, he immediately changes and only wants me. I am hoping this is only a phase and he will out grow it. In the meantime, I force him to spend time with DH. It's frustrating for everyone and I feel bad, but DS has to learn that he can't have mommy all the time. I am 30 weeks pregnant and really worried about how he's going to handle it when the baby comes.

I wish I had great advice for you. But know that you are not alone.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

Mine go in stages. Right now Brielle is super clingy and likes to be held ALL day. It's worse when she is tired. She needs DH to sit with her all day but is I'm around she jumps for me. Hannah was like this a few mo ago but more at bedtime.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

logan is almost 3 and super attached to me, he only wants me (unless either grandma is present). He won't let my dh put him to bed and its exhausting for me...

Logan also has gone to daycare since 11 weeks so he should be used to it

Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

Thanks ladies! I feel like it's getting worse instead of better. I try to let DH handles things like putting her back to bed but she literally goes into full panic mode and cries to the point where she can't breathe. They will stay with their grandmother when she comes to watch them but I literally have to prepare her for it and assure her I am coming back. I really hope she outgrows this once she goes to regular school.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

Yes, have 2. DD1 is getting better in some respects and worse in others.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

My dd was horrible but over the last 2 months got better for whatever reason. She will even go to babysitting at the gym!
I agree with the pp give your dh certain things he only does with her ie brush her teeth or whatever he is home for and stick with it.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

Yes my younger dd is the exact same way. She is 20 months and has been this way since about 6 months old. I was also this way growing up and I'm still very attached to my mom. I can remember being young and screaming when my mom would go out anywhere. I was always a mommys girl. I started to get better around 7 I think but if my parents went out and left us with my grandparents I would cry for my mom and I loved my grandparents it was just that I was so attached to my mom. Now I see myself in my dd she is a lot like me. I call her my shadow. She follows me wherever I go. When dh and I go out she flips out and cries for hours it's really rough. If she wakes up at night and my dh goes into comfort her she screams louder and has thrown up crying for me to come in. She loves dh, her grandma and aunts/uncles but only I will do. It's hard sometimes especially when I have to go somewhere or need to get stuff done. I don't want her to feel like I did growing up because I remember how upset I would get. I'm hoping she will outgrow it before I did.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

Message edited 2/22/2014 6:36:02 AM.

Re: Does anyone have a DC that is REALLY attached to you?

How old is she? My DD was like that from about 16months until a little over 2 years. Now, at 2.5 she's over it and gets excited when her aunt or grandma come to watch her. At one point though, my MIL would come over to play with her while I was in another room, and she would scream bc she wanted me in the same room as them. So it was bad at times. I just kept checking in to reassure her I wasn't leaving.

I NEVER forced the issue. I'm a SAHM, and rarely had the NEED to be separated from her. Of course the times I needed to go out without her, I did, she cried, and whoever was watching her had to deal with it. I didn't look for reasons to separate her from me though, bc I felt that she'd outgrow it in time...And she did.

It's frustrating and sucks when they cry for you constantly, but if she's little still, she'll probably outgrow it. IMO letting her overcome it without forcing it will work better.