ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

so, I'm a SAHM... DS is 3, and goes to a nursery school program 2 mornings a week. he's been ok there so far, his teacher is great, he has fun, etc.
well the teacher just called. apparently yesterday, he poked another kid with scissors at the art table. The teacher checked the other kid, everything seemed ok. so she said she just talked to DS about not hurting other people with scissors, didn't worry about telling me or the other mom.
Well apparently, the other mom called her last night and said her son's shirt has a hole in it from the scissors, and apparently it was a newer shirt so now I need to sign an incident report on Monday when he's there again.
I told the teacher to tell the other mom that I can give her money for the shirt, and I talked to DS about it.
overall, its a fairly minor thing... they are 3, using scissors- something's bound to happen but just upsetting when its the first time I've dealt with something like this...he's our only child and it makes me wonder if I'm doing enough to get him around other kids, etc.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

I would assume they are using safety scissors? Can that even make a hole in a shirt?

I got a call once too, and it sucks but no 3 year old is an angel! As long as you reinforce it, don't worry! You're doing a great job!

As for the mom wanting money for a new shirt, that's nuts. I would never expect that! I do find it odd that you are signing an incident report now...

ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

Awe, I know how you feel. You are doing fine and you did talk to him. It sucks when its your child, but as a mom who signed a couple of incident reports for hitting and biting, as long as you talk to him and try to correct the behavior your little one will be fine. Also I noticed that boys can be so much more aggressive than girls. When I got my DS I could see the difference from my nieces. My DS is also my only one.

Things happen in school and kids clothes get ruined unfortunately, as a mom I always had daycare clothes that he wore so if it got stained or ruined it wasnt a big deal to me.

Message edited 1/22/2014 12:41:53 PM.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

Don't worry about it! You're right- they're 3, things happen. In this day and age, everything needs to be documented at daycare. This won't be the first incident report you'll have to sign, I'm sure, but really it isn't a big deal. And to be honest, if my child came home with a hole or paint or whatever else on their shirt, I can't imagine complaining or expecting compensation for it. It comes with the territory!

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

My first question would be ...what kind of scissors are they giving 3 year olds that it would poke a hole through the shirt and the teacher would have to check the other child to see if they were OK?

There is NO WAY the rounded tip, dull safety scissors that SHOULD be given to three year olds can poke a hole right through a shirt.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

The only thing I can think of is maybe the shirt got caught between the scissors and he cut the a shirt by closing the scissors... Im sure they are using safety scissors.

Either way to me its a minor incident, as long as their were no marks and my kid is intact. I would not have made a big stink about it.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

thanks! you guys have a good point about the scissors! its actually a co-op school where the parents take turns being the teacher's aid- and Monday is my day, so i'll check about what kind of scissors they use. I wouldn't think the safety ones would put a hole in the shirt either!! the only thing I can think of is, like sash said- maybe DS closed the scissors and it cut the shirt rather than just poking a hole in it ( I mean, the teacher and the mom are going by what the other boy is telling them. So maybe DS actually cut the shirt, rather than "poked" it... who knows)
DS told me the other kids name, and I know his mom is very nice... so I don't think she did it to complain or get a new shirt ( it was me that told teacher I would give money for a new shirt- the teacher didn't mention anything like that). I think the mom called the teacher more just so the teacher and I could talk to DS about it. but now because she talked to the teacher, the teacher is required to fill out the report. I know it'll be the first of many I'm sure... LOL

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

Nm

Message edited 1/22/2014 2:18:13 PM.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

I would first and foremost ask WHAT kind of scissors they are using? I would ask to SEE the scissors and see the rip on the child's shirt. B/c if THEY are using the wrong's scissors, that is the ONLY real problem here and that should be on THEM and not you.

At his age, no rounded tip child scissor should be cutting through a child's shirt. Absolutely demand to see this since it sounds as though they are using dangerous scissors (pointy tip) and that's a no no at that age. That's where *I* would start.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

So much of this bothers me and it's not anything to do with the OP.

Mainly, why wasn't an incident report done prior? It was an incident or it wasn't KWIM?

They should be using safety scissors what kind would cut a shirt?

Why would you have to pay for the shirt? LO is 3 and not even under your supervision at the time. That mom needs to send LO in play clothes anyway because it's preschool!

I had to sign an incident report because DD got bit at daycare. It sucked but I never placed blame on the other child (they never told me who, I also never asked) and especially that childs parents.

I know you feel it's your fault but it isn't. You sound like a great mom and you are getting your child involved with social interactions with children, it takes time.

Re: ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

ugh! first incident report from nursery school :-(

I would think a scissor that can rip a hole in a shirt would probably leave a bloody stab mark on the other child. I call bs on the hole in the shirt. At least a hole that your son made.