WWYD- Babysitter

WWYD- We have a babysitter come to the house on my late days. She comes at 10. She knows that I get out of work at 8, so her hours could potentially be 10-8:30. My husband is on the road all day and doesn't have anything close to a set schedule, but usually gets home by 7 at the latest. On Wed's she goes to church and needs to leave by 7. My husband makes it a point to get home by then. There are 2 teenage girls who live next door that we've had come over a few times after DS went to sleep. I asked them if they could be available on a Wed at 7 if for some reason my husband is late, which they were more then happy to do. DS would be asleep already. I presented this idea when she first started and she said she would not leave DS with anyone but me and husband. I kinda rolled my eyes but appreciated how committed she was to the baby. Today we were having a "discussion" about hours (I say that in quotes because it was a little tense and awkward). She told me my husband got home at 7:30 recently on a Wed. I basically said there are two options - the girls will come over or you will be late for church. There are a million variable in his day, and while he tries his best, there is no guarantees, which is why we have a back up plan. She again refused to agree to the girls coming over.

It makes me kinda feel like - "wait a minute, this is my child and if I say this is what we're going to do, then this is what we're going to do". It's not like we're saying too bad, we highly respect her attending church and how important it is which is why we are a plan. Also, why did this come up now? I spoke to my husband and he is really sure that he never got home late, but he could be forgetting.

Should I address this again? It's kinda annoying. As aside, my family has known her for over 20 years and I feel 100000% comfortable and happy leaving DS with her.

WWYD- Babysitter

I meant to answer you on FB but I think she's completely out of line for telling you what to do. It is NOT her place to dictate who you can leave your child with, especially when you are doing this to respect her time! Since she is a family friend, could your mom or someone maybe talk to her about it?

WWYD- Babysitter

It's really not her decision who watches your ds once she leaves. If she has to leave exactly at 7pm then the girls will come over. Have them meet ahead of time. If she can be flexible and wait for your dh on the rare times he is late then that is her other option. Your kid, your decisions.

WWYD- Babysitter

Thanks for the opinions - I knew I wasn't the only one who would find that odd

WWYD- Babysitter

The only thing I can think of is if god forbid something happens on the "transition" of her leaving and the younger girl coming, she doesn't want to be accountable for that. Other than that maybe asked her why she doesn't want to leave at 7 if someone is there to watch your child.

WWYD- Babysitter

At this point I would just say I appreciate you go to church and we are doing everything we can to make that happen. The reality is there are 2 things that can happen. You can either leave when the neighbor girl comes over, which I support and have no problems with at all, or you can be late for church. That's it. There is not another option. He is my son and I am comfortable with you switching off to her. If you're not that is a choice you are making and I will not be made to feel bad about that choice. I appreciate you are a family friend, but more so I appreciate that my son loves you and we are lucky to have you, but again I have given you 2 options that will work for my son. What you do is up to you.

Re: WWYD- Babysitter

Message edited 12/11/2013 10:06:28 PM.

WWYD- Babysitter

Um, that is absolutely ridiculous. Your child, your decision!!! I am honestly shocked and appalled that your babysitter feels she has the right to tell you that that is not okay for her. And not to mention, you are doing it in order to accommodate HER needs!

Re: WWYD- Babysitter

I'd just tell her your husband has to work late this Wed and the girl next door is coming over at 7 so she can leave once she gets there. (tell DH to circle the block or go get coffee lol) If she says "boo" about it, tell her that it's fine with you as their parent so she should have no issue with it. I don't see why she gives a darn.

Re: WWYD- Babysitter

I'm going to be different from everyone else and say that this may just not be a good fit. Yes, it's your child and you have the right to tell her that someone, not you or your husband, will come over on Wed nights. But if she says she is not comfortable with that AND she also needs to leave for church, then maybe you need someone new on Wednesdays.