Quick opinion question please

Dd has been giving me a lot of trouble lately(almost3). She has a twin brother.

Last night they slept at my parents and she gave my mom a lot of trouble in the middle of the night. (Exactly what she has been doing for me)

I have tried sticker charts etc and nothing gets her.

Thinking of buying ds a toy before I go pick them up and reward him for his great behavior.

Is this just mean?? Or will it hopefully get her attention?

Re: Quick opinion question please

I'm a firm believer in trial and error. If what you're doing (reward charts) hasn't been working, then try something new. I would reward DS for his good behavior and see how she reacts. I don't think its mean. Especially if it works.

Quick opinion question please

I don't think that's mean either. But I'm believer in tough love. This age is so hard.

Re: Quick opinion question please

Thanks I picked something up for ds well see how it works.
Thank you

Re: Quick opinion question please

I actually just did something similar. We told our DS to go downstairs and clean up the playroom. My older DS did it without giving me a hassle. My little one refused. So I surprised my older DS with a package of Squinkies and my little one is flipping out. Oh well. Next time he'll do what I ask. I'm certainly not going to give them toys every time they do what they are supposed to do, but now the incentive is there for the surprise.

Re: Quick opinion question please

Not mean but I might structure it differently.

Maybe lay down the expectations first to both of them. "Kids who sleep every night get a toy next weekend" and then next weekend, ds definitely would earn his ( assuming his sleep patterns don't change) and possibly (hopefully! Dd). If at that point only ds earns it, then it's fair and not mean for dd to see him get his toy. A big part of social behavior is seeing the consequences others get and learning from it!

Re: Quick opinion question please

Re: Quick opinion question please

Posted by allIwant

Posted by ChristinaM128

Not mean but I might structure it differently.

Maybe lay down the expectations first to both of them. "Kids who sleep every night get a toy next weekend" and then next weekend, ds definitely would earn his ( assuming his sleep patterns don't change) and possibly (hopefully! Dd). If at that point only ds earns it, then it's fair and not mean for dd to see him get his toy. A big part of social behavior is seeing the consequences others get and learning from it!

I have tried it this way. DS has already earned things for staying in bed all week and she just doesn't care. She is well aware of the expectations and the consequences and does not care

I wound up just giving DS a lolly pop after lunch and bought them each a $ store toy for them to earn when they stay in bed all night. DS will get his tomorrow and she I am sure will not. I put it on her dresser and hopefully it will be a reminder.

We shall see.