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Message edited 11/14/2013 9:08:52 PM.

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

How good of a friend is she?? Would she be offended if you emailed her?

I think i would call her and say I'm about to post on FB and LIF but wanted you to be one of the first to know that i am pregnant.

If she is a good friend, she will handle it well on the phone and then hang up and possibly be upset.

I would give her the respect of a phone call.

I have a girlfriend in a similar situation and she was very happy for me on the phone and in person.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

If you are unable to tell her in person I would tell her over the phone. An email seems a bit impersonal and there is the potential that she may be offended that you told her by email.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

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Message edited 11/14/2013 9:09:01 PM.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

As someone who has had multiple losses and had a lot of people announce their pregnancies, the best was when a mutual good friend told me that they were pregnant BEFORE the FB announcement. I think had the person told me themselves, it would have felt like they were rubbing it in my face more than trying to be open and honest with me, especially right after the loss. I would, after a little time blew over, I would have a talk with her.

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

i personally would not do it in an email - it seems impersonal.

i would call her up and tell her just as you told anyone else - i wouldnt expect you get the same response as others have given you but as long as you are prepared for that you should be fine. tell her and then continue the conversation asking about her (work etc) so that the focus of the conversation isnt you and she wont be uncomfortable not knowing what to say.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

I would tell her in person or on the phone and just be honest. There is no way around it.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

Def in person, or on the phone, but - if she JUST recently had one, it might be a really good idea to have a joint friend tell her so that she can prepare herself. The last thing she is going to want to hear is that someone else is pregnant, and if she is given a little time to "cry it out" before you tell her in person (where she's liable to cry or run away - which I've done) or on the phone, it definitely helps. JMO.

ETA: if you don't want it to seem like you are sending someone else to "do your bidding", have that person tell her that you told them not to say anything, that you are planning on telling her yourself. This is exactly how a friend handled it for me and when I was told by the person I was legitimately happy for them because I got the chance to cry it out before she told me in person. The one friend that I wasn't told in advance, I found out and flipped a you know what, I didn't take it out on her (obviously) but I had to leave the situation.

Message edited 11/14/2013 1:38:08 PM.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

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Message edited 11/14/2013 9:09:11 PM.

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

I dealt with IF for 3 years. My sister got pregnant and told me over the phone. One of my best friends got pregnant and she told me over the phone as well. (I live 200 miles away). Personally, I would prefer an email, but maybe I am outlier. After being told, I had to continue having a conversation with them when all I really wanted to do was hang up and cry. No matter how you do it, it will be awkward for her and you. It does not mean she is not happy for you - she is just upset with her situation.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

ive had several losses and watched lots of friends get pregnant... I didnt expect anyone to tell me first, but my best friend did. Like the pee wasnt dry yet and she told me... I think an email or call is fine. When she told me i was fine (we were at a wedding) but that night i cried so hard i couldnt breathe! You know her better so also use your own judgement on how to do it. Good luck!

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

I would do it in an e-mail...Or a text. I know it seems impersonal, but as someone who went through it, it would give her time to process it and then I'm sure she would call you when she was ready.
My sister told me in person, and I put a fake smile on and ran out of her house so fast. Then, just cried & cried.

Congrats to you, and I'm so sorry for your friend!

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

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Message edited 11/14/2013 9:09:21 PM.

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

as someone who struggled and it took two years for me to get PG....just tell her. She will deal with he emotions in her own way. I promise you she will be happy for you but might be sad and upset at her situation. It does not mean she doesn't care etc.

But be understanding if she can't talk and isn't outwardly happy.....

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

I went thru this recently and my friend chose to tell me in a text. I found that upsetting and would much rather her tell me in person or on phone. Everyone is different but for me I found the text easier for her and it upset me tremendously

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

could use some advice on how to tell a friend

I have been down this path, on both sides of it. While infertile, I got more upset when I felt it was hidden from me. So, it still stings, but I would call and tell her.

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

Call her and tell her. I had one of my best friends who did not like or want kids get pregnant and she told me over the phone. It was good for me bc I was genuinely happy for her but my grief for my own losses was still there. I was able to hang up and burst out crying to DH.

Re: could use some advice on how to tell a friend

Everyone is different. I was in this situation and a friend facebook messaged me to let me know she was pregnant. I was expecting it, but she was very nice about it and while I was sad for me I was very happy for her. I 340938240932% would not have wanted her to tell me in person or over the phone, I am glad it was a less personal form of communication and would definitely prefer text/email or facebook message. But, thats my own personal preference.