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age gap

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Softkitty
LIF Infant

Member since 7/12

311 total posts

Name:

age gap

im not preg now. but curious

what do you think is the best age gap between kids? i know its opinion and some will say 3years dif and others will swear 1yr is enough...

i dont have any friends with kids so i would love to hear all opinions.

thanks!

Posted 11/8/13 12:56 PM
 
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

age gap

I think the best is whatever it happens to be. I know families with kids less than a year apart and ones with kids 10+.

It really does not matter.

Posted 11/8/13 1:01 PM
 

ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..

Member since 5/12

7482 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: age gap

Posted by alli3131

I think the best is whatever it happens to be. I know families with kids less than a year apart and ones with kids 10+.

It really does not matter.



I agree!!!!

Posted 11/8/13 1:03 PM
 

2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!

Member since 5/10

2954 total posts

Name:
D

age gap

My 1st and 2nd are 2 1/2 years apart, my 2nd and 3rd are 5 years apart...they all play and are good with each other so I don't think it matters that much!

Posted 11/8/13 1:08 PM
 

Gdesq
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

1314 total posts

Name:

Re: age gap

Like you said, it is a matter of personal preference.

For me personally, I knew I needed a bit of a gap between kids. DS will be 3 1/2 when this baby is born. For me, it was important that DS was in school some of the time, to give me some one on one time with the baby and not be as overwhelming.

Of course, I have heard the opposite that having kids closer together is better because the kids grow up closer and you get done with the baby phase faster.

I didn't want more than a 4 year gap because I felt it probably would be too much of a gap regarding how close the two siblings would be.

I think regardless of what you plan, it all works out because you just adapt to what is on your plate.

Posted 11/8/13 1:10 PM
 

Melmel821
Love being a mom!

Member since 5/08

2776 total posts

Name:
Melanie

Re: age gap

I'm thinking 3-5 years. I would like to be able to have one on one time with the next baby.

Posted 11/8/13 1:39 PM
 

KevinNKristin8-15-08
Welcome to the world Chase

Member since 9/08

6162 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: age gap

Posted by Melmel821

I'm thinking 3-5 years. I would like to be able to have one on one time with the next baby.

agreed. At least that's how I feel. I never wanted kids close in age

But it's all a matter of personal preference. There is no right or wrong.

Posted 11/8/13 1:52 PM
 

jams92

Member since 1/12

6105 total posts

Name:

Re: age gap

its personal preference

parents with 3-5 year age gaps will say that is better bc the older one can help with the younger one and the older one is more self sufficient

parents with a 1-2 year age gap says that is best because they are still in the same phase of their lives...diapers, similar toys etc
they get to grow up and be close in age and have a special friendship

Posted 11/8/13 2:03 PM
 

JSDB
<3

Member since 1/13

1329 total posts

Name:

Re: age gap

we wanted 2.5 year gap but it didnt work out. Now we are shooting for 3, but hoping for less than 4

Posted 11/8/13 2:12 PM
 

Melmel821
Love being a mom!

Member since 5/08

2776 total posts

Name:
Melanie

Re: age gap

Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08

Posted by Melmel821

I'm thinking 3-5 years. I would like to be able to have one on one time with the next baby.

agreed. At least that's how I feel. I never wanted kids close in age

But it's all a matter of personal preference. There is no right or wrong.



I thought I wanted to have them close in age but I think it's more than I can handle.

Posted 11/8/13 2:17 PM
 

luvmyReese
Hello Kitty

Member since 1/08

7542 total posts

Name:
Catt

Re: age gap

I dont know how parents with children 2 or less yrs apart do it...seriously God Bless them.
My kids are 5-6 yrs apart...thats just how my life happened it was about circumstance for me. There is def pro and cons to that age gap but having my lil helpers has been a blessing.
Personal choice and circumstance.

Good Luck

Posted 11/8/13 2:34 PM
 

Babylove10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/10

814 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: age gap

I have boys eighteen months apart. It is pretty insane having a three year old and a eighteen month old. We are never bored, that's for sure. We will talk about a 3rd when my little guy is three. He will be two in April.

Posted 11/10/13 8:42 PM
 

MrsA1012
love my little girl !

Member since 9/10

5777 total posts

Name:
Me

age gap

If you want to avoid sibling rivalry , a bigger gap is better.

Posted 11/10/13 10:34 PM
 

mama2charlotte
LIF Adult

Member since 7/12

1014 total posts

Name:
Kimberly

age gap

We just had our DS last week and my daughter is 3 1/2. I knew I didn't want them too close in age. I don't have the patience for that. ;) I also like it because my daughter has pre-school which affords bonding time for my son and I. My daughter is independent enough to play on her own while I feed my son and do other baby-related things.
Good luck whatever you choose!

Posted 11/11/13 6:47 AM
 

BlessedMomma
LIF Adult

Member since 12/11

6163 total posts

Name:
Momma Bear

age gap

I agree with it being a personal preference. I personally plan is 3 year difference. I have friends who have both 1 year gap and 3 year gap and it just seemed to me the 3 year gap was a bit less overwhelming, but still overwhelming. No matter what its a hard job having 2 kids.

My friend who has a 1 year gap between 2 boys just had it soo hard. I felt so bad for her. She was overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated. It put a strain on her marriage. Her older boy was very wild and didn't listen and looked to me like he was seeking attention. I also will say she did not have the most attentive husband either so Im sure that made matters worse. But just talking to her all the time made me completely scared sh*tless LOL I def knew I did not want that.

I see my friend who has a 3+ year gap and it just seemed a bit easier. There was still jealousy (2 girls) but it just seemed a bit easier. The older girl was in school and had a schedule. She was able to have 1-1 time with her infant dd without making the older one jealous. It just seemed like less stress, less strain on her marriage, on her. Theres always stress and frustration and fears and like it it with 1 child you have great days, good days, bad days and horrible days LOL

For ME personally it was a huge adjustment having my dd and I love her more than life itself I just don't want to bring another baby into our life right now. My dd is 16 months and shes my lil bff. I love that she has all my attention. I love spending our 1-1 time together. And I don't want another baby to take that away right now. That's MY personal feelings. Just to be clear that's not a judgement on anyone that feels different.

Posted 11/11/13 1:41 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: age gap

Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08

Posted by Melmel821

I'm thinking 3-5 years. I would like to be able to have one on one time with the next baby.

agreed. At least that's how I feel. I never wanted kids close in age

But it's all a matter of personal preference. There is no right or wrong.



same for us. Right now we are debating 3 or 4 years and are leaning towards 4.

Posted 11/11/13 1:55 PM
 

NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul

Member since 5/05

11122 total posts

Name:
D

Re: age gap

Mine are almost 4 years apart 4 month shy of it. Its perfect DD1 is so independent which is nice.

Posted 11/11/13 2:24 PM
 

MrsG72907
Mommy of 2 girls!

Member since 5/10

2046 total posts

Name:

Re: age gap

I've def. come to the conclusion that it honestly does not matter at all how close in age they are. I'm pregnant with DD#2 and my girls will be about 25 months apart.

I've decided this this based on the following: I am the youngest of 5. My one sis is 19 months older and we are not close. My other siblings are much older (>15 years, another marriage) and we are not close. My DH and his brother are almost 4 years apart and they are not super close either.

I've also met and discussed this with many other moms, whether it family, friends, work, etc. Just like anything else, you will get tons of differing opinions. Some things are easier with them close, easier with them farther. I think it boils down to the dynamics of your specific family, how you function on a daily basis and work together. There are so many factors that go into it that I don't think there is a "formula" to how to do it. Different things work for different families.

Posted 11/11/13 4:41 PM
 

LulaBell
:)

Member since 1/06

3508 total posts

Name:
J

age gap

I originally hoped for a 3 year difference but life intervened and will have a 4.5 year difference between kids. For me, I think it will be perfect bc my DD is ready for a sibling and independent in many ways which will give me alone time w the baby. That being said, I see many benefits to having kids close in age. I think you make the best of whatever your situation turns out to be.

Posted 11/11/13 4:50 PM
 

want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!

Member since 8/06

10164 total posts

Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...

Re: age gap

I have kids 17 month apart, then 2 1/2yrs apart, then 15 months apart. For me, I like having them closer together.

Posted 11/11/13 7:34 PM
 

want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!

Member since 8/06

10164 total posts

Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...

Re: age gap

Posted by want2beamom

I have kids 17 month apart, then 2 1/2yrs apart, then 15 months apart. For me, I like having them closer together.




Eta: all my boys right now are super close, even #1 and #4 who are 5 yrs apart...I pray that it continues throughout their lives!

Posted 11/11/13 7:38 PM
 

angnick
Life is So Wonderful!

Member since 8/06

6663 total posts

Name:
Angela

Re: age gap

My 1st and 2nd are 11 mos apart, my third now will be 4 years younger than my 2nd.

I think that is a good gap.

I am 10.5 years older than my sisters.. We are as close as ever.

I really do not think it matters.

Do when is good for you!

Posted 11/12/13 10:32 AM
 

babyface10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/11

804 total posts

Name:

age gap

Everyone is different but there is 13 months between DS and DD and i think it is perfect. They are on the same schedule and there is not really any jealousy. DS loves to entertain DD and she thinks he is hilarious. I think and hope they will be great friends one day.

Posted 11/12/13 3:54 PM
 
 

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