DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

DS will be 3 this week. I've always considered him a sweet boy who for the most part listened but is also used to being the center of attention. I also feel like I let a lot of things go that lots of moms wouldn't. He has a brother who is 16 months and one that is 2 months. He also started nursery school 2 days a week in Sept. I know that with a new baby and starting school there has been a lot of major change in his life and also he is at a rough age. It seems he doesn't listen to anything I say. He runs away from me - even ran away in a store yesterday and I was chasing him in circles. He is constantly defiant. I use time outs but lately he just smiles and laughs when I go to talk to him. I end up yelling and feel horrible about myself after as I know that's not effective. I try talking at his level, being positive, and changing the way I tell him to do things and it seems to work a little while and then eventually we end up back in the same place. I am just so upset because it'd hard to even enjoy the good times with him lately.

Re: DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

It COULD be a reaction to the new baby, but I'm more inclined to say, it's the age. Three has been a HORRIFIC age in our household. My sweet baby girl now talks back, screams, tries to bargain with me, won't listen to "no". There's good days and bad days but I'm WAITING for this phase to end!

Re: DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

horrific here as well (my son was 3 in May).

Honestly, ignoring the behavior works the best for me. He doesn't get what he wants without acting appropriately.

When he is good, he is rewarded.

If he runs, use a stroller. Show him there are consequences.

Take things away. Ignore. Reward the good behavior.

DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

Ds just turned 3 on Monday and this past week has been a NIGHTMARE in my house! Not listening, pushing dd (9 months) hitting, screaming, saying "NO"

I agree with everything Maymama said. If he's crying I'll tell him I don't understand cry and when he's done to let me know. If he's yelling I'll tell him he's hurting my ears and to please tell me in a quiet voice. If he throws himself to the floor I ignore it unless he is going to hurt himself by banging on something.

Hopefully this passes soon for all of us! !

Re: DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

From what you said, it appears that your son is looking for attention.
You said he likes to be the center of attention, and that he will smile at you when you talk or yell at him. For him, that attention is better than none at all. (chasing him in the store or yelling at him are maintaining the behavior. )
The reason why ignoring (like pp said) works is because ignoring does not offer DC with the result he desires.
However, ignoring is not good enough to change the behavior. For those who seek attention you need to remind him what good behaviors receive attention. Ie: staying with you in the store will earn him some special time with mom. (Result should be attention since that is what he craves). Three year olds are in the "what about me" stage so it can be extremely rough. It's not going to be easy with a two month old! Good Luck!

Re: DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

He's 3. My kid is the same.

With everything that I tell my DS (who is also 3) to do, I include a short term consequence.

In stores, if he runs away, I make him sit in a corner (yes, even in front of people).

Grocery shopping, he goes in the cart if he can't behave (and our "baby" walks).

If he doesn't eat dinner, he goes hungry.

If he plays dangerously (stands on chair), I tell him that he can hurt himself. If that doesn't work, I take away the chair, or make him sit in the corner.

I yell too. Because I get mad. I know it doesn't work.

Re: DSs behavior has me at the end of my rope

Try to give him attention when he is being good. Bad behavior usually attracts more attention regardless if it is negative attention if attention is what he is looking for.